Hi, I need to vent

So last night I'm making supper when my fiance comes home from work. It's all Hi how was your day yada yada...

So he's opening up his mail and he's standing there reading some papers. Now when things like income tax stuff and whatever important type papers come in he'll ask me to read them, "what does this mean" "should I keep this" type of thing. So he says "do you want to read these?" and there seperation papers from his lawyer so I simply said "do you want me to read them?" and he looks at me with this angry look, raises his voice and says "I wouldn't have asked you to if I didn't want you to" while shaking the papers.

Do you know what my first reaction was?

I cowerd and lowered my head!!!!

What an absolute horrible feeling!

Like a freakin dog. You know when you smack your dog for peeing on the rug and he tucks his tail between his legs and lowers his ears and he acts unsure of you for a bit. Then another day you leave him in the house to long and he has no choice but to pee on the rug and as soon as you walk in the door he's already cowering because he feels he did something wrong.

Thats what memories of abuse feel like sometimes. You feel like you've come so far and you feel strong and good about yourself, then someone makes a quick move by you and you flinch or you see someone get angry and you tense up then you get angry at yourself "NO WAY I AM NOT THAT PERSON ANYMORE"

So I said if you can't think of a better way to talk to me then don't, that was totally uncalled for. Later when we went to bed he says to me I wasn't snapping at you (pause) (pause)I wasn't trying to snap at you. So I don't feel like a debate about what he didn't do and said I'm not going to argue with you. Then we laid there in complete silence......then I hear snoring.

I don't think they should have to seperate a day out of the year to show someone you love them. If I ran the world it would be manditory for everyone to show they care every day. If people didn't comply I would wrap them up in pink and red crape paper, put bows on there heads, make them eat chocholate, and let puppies lick their faces while listening to It's a small world after all!

Thanks for letting me rant and rave, been a pleasure.

Happy Valentines Day to all!!!!!!!!!!!!

[velvet]

Good for you, for standing up to him. Keep it up.

When someone is having a fit, raises their voice, or venting over pressure than it affects every person

too. And when anyone starts blowing steam, I'm the first one to laugh, or walk out of the room.

I think you did very well by reacting calmly & telling him what you expect. When you said that you felt like how a person treats a dog after the dog peeing on the rug. You didnt do anything to upset him when you asked if you should read the paper out.

And when a person gets upset with a dog for no reason, and does not show love. What do you think happens when the owner is ready for their dog to love on them. Well eventually that dog wont come to the owner when its asked to.

Hi, I need to vent So last night I'm making supper when my fiance comes home from work. It's all Hi how was your day yada yada... So he's opening up his mail and he's standing there reading some papers. Now when things like income tax stuff and whatever important type papers come in he'll ask me to read them, "what does this mean" "should I keep this" type of thing. So he says "do you want to read these?" and there seperation papers from his lawyer so I simply said "do you want me to read them?" and he looks at me with this angry look, raises his voice and says "I wouldn't have asked you to if I didn't want you to" while shaking the papers. Do you know what my first reaction was? I cowerd and lowered my head!!!! What an absolute horrible feeling! Like a freakin dog. You know when you smack your dog for peeing on the rug and he tucks his tail between his legs and lowers his ears and he acts unsure of you for a bit. Then another day you leave him in the house to long and he has no choice but to pee on the rug and as soon as you walk in the door he's already cowering because he feels he did something wrong. Thats what memories of abuse feel like sometimes. You feel like you've come so far and you feel strong and good about yourself, then someone makes a quick move by you and you flinch or you see someone get angry and you tense up then you get angry at yourself "NO WAY I AM NOT THAT PERSON ANYMORE" So I said if you can't think of a better way to talk to me then don't, that was totally uncalled for. Later when we went to bed he says to me I wasn't snapping at you (pause) (pause)I wasn't trying to snap at you. So I don't feel like a debate about what he didn't do and said I'm not going to argue with you. Then we laid there in complete silence......then I hear snoring.

I don't think they should have to seperate a day out of the year to show someone you love them. If I ran the world it would be manditory for everyone to show they care every day. If people didn't comply I would wrap them up in pink and red crape paper, put bows on there heads, make them eat chocholate, and let puppies lick their faces while listening to It's a small world after all! Thanks for letting me rant and rave, been a pleasure. Happy Valentines Day to all!!!!!!!!!!!!