There's a not-so-close friend of mine (23 years old girl) that i also work with. She has a boyfriend that works offshore 4 weeks on and 4 weeks off. Now I start wondering if their relationship is unhealty, because when her boyfriend is offshore she and another guy in the office are flirting with each other. Their flirting is not only innocent, because there is quite a bit of physical contact between the two, and they are leaning into each other and so on. Of course they try to be discrete, but I've noticed whats going on.
She talks about her boyfriend as if they are serious about each other, but her actions tell a different story, and I also know that she gets frustrated, lonely and does not trust him when he is away.
Could she be cheating? Does their relationship look healthy to you? Why is she doing this?
She might want to talk about it, because sometimes she, out of the blue, mentions things that indicate that she is not happy with the situation. It could be that she wants someone else to take the initiative to talk about it, because she does not dare to do it herself. I don't want to get too deep into this before I know if there is indicators that something is wrong. That's why I want to ask in this forum what you think about her actions and what is going on? Is it perfectly normal to flirt like this when your boyfriend is away, or is it a sign of that something is wrong with their relationship?
Is it perfectly normal to flirt like this when your boyfriend is away, or is it a sign of that something is wrong with their relationship?
It depends. Some people are compulsive flirters. Everything they do is about flirting. For such people, it is perfectly normal. For others, not so much.
It depends. Some people are compulsive flirters. Everything they do is about flirting. For such people, it is perfectly normal. For others, not so much.
Nice work Carhill..glad to know my gut was dead on here.
Lambda, I don't understand why you would come to an annonymous message board for advise and not give anywhere close to the true story. No one can give you accurate advise without all the information. Man up...geez..no one knows you.
Now quit staring at the hot Account Executives and get back to sharpening those pencils.
That thread is a whole different story. ... It's just a coincidence if they look similar.
Lambda, maybe the similarities in the different stories are pointing to a pattern of you perhaps misreading the "signs" when women engage in normal office chit-chat with you? You are calling this current girl a "not so close" friend ... but she may be seeing (and treating) you as just another co-worker, perhaps? Not all co-workers are automatically either "friends" or romantically interested in us.
"It could be that she wants someone else to take the initiative to talk about it, because she does not dare to do it herself."
That is a WHOLE lot of just your own ideas and wishes, perhaps? The pattern is similar to your old job, when you wanted to read more meaning into it when that co-worker was "playing with her jewelry" and "dressing up"?
Sometimes people will display personal habits and talk about their personal lives at work...it doesn't mean that they are looking for a romantic or even a platonic connection with whatever co-worker happens to be around to witness it. It can just be a vent to no one in particular, that means nothing at all beyond just letting off some steam.
I do agree that whether or not you are friends, and whether or not you care about her as a friend, whatever is going on between her and other people in the office isn't your business.
Last edited by Ronni_W; 7th September 2008 at 4:35 PM..
Reason: grammar
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