[Import]

First time poster here.

To cut a long story very short the wife and I are in the final throes (in fact, I'm done but need to work out a course of action). Many things have happened but something is sticking in my throat that's causing a lot of issues. It's a bit of a mindf**k.

In the middle of a hell of a fight the other week, after having all many of abuse thrown at me she packs a bag, leaves me holding my 4 month old son and says she's going to stay with a friend. A male friend who she says she confides in about personal issues between the two of us. She even called to say that she was outside his place waiting for him to get out of work. She was back within 30 minutes saying she heard the baby crying and needed to come back. This isn't the first time i've heard this as she had me thinking the same thing 3 or 4 years back. Anyway, at the end of three weeks of fighting she said... oh dear, it's just bad PMS and hormones and I need to forget it and carry on business as usual. I don't buy all the hormone stuff as she's been like this as long as i've known her (10yrs) and her family have said she had a wicked tongue. Anyway, i'm trying to work out what's worse... the fact she's fine with letting me think that and saying it just to get a reaction or whether there really is someone else. Confused...

[whichwayisup]

she's going to stay with a friend. A male friend who she says she confides in about personal issues between the two of us

Uhh, the next time she pulls that, tell her NOT to come home and that she can leave, but not take the baby with her.

Yes, she is having an inappropriate friendship, probably an emotional affair with that guy. HE is a cancer to your marriage and if she needs to talk to someone, she should talk to you, or get counselling..NOT another man.

Ask her how SHE would feel if you two had a fight and then you told her that you were going to stay at another woman's house..And you took your baby as well. Yeah, I bet that would NOT go over well at all.

Bottomline, this guy needs to be OUT of her life and the two of you need to get to marriage counselling to fix the problems in the marriage.

[Import]

Originally Posted by whichwayisup

Ask her how SHE would feel if you two had a fight and then you told her that you were going to stay at another woman's house..And you took your baby as well. Yeah, I bet that would NOT go over well at all..

I said the exact same thing to her. She said they were just friends and I should be ok with it.. this was before saying it was made up just to get a "reaction" out of me. Too be honest if it weren't for the little one I'd be long gone.

[mark982]

no this isn't normal. next time she does this crap, follow thru on her threats. throw her azz out. as long as you let her do this, she will. also the male "friend" must go.time to grow a set.