Waiting until the last minute... How would you react?
I just found myself in an annoying situation and would like to know how others would respond to this.
A guy asked me to "go out on Saturday" through a text message on Thursday. I accepted the invitation. This would be our first date. We talked a little bit more and he didn't specify a time or place. I just figured he'd get back to me with some idea of what we'd be doing.
I didn't hear from him until just now (4:35 on the evening of this supposed "date"). He just texted me "Hi".
I'm all for being spontaneous, but I don't want to give him the impression that it was ok for him to wait until the last minute to firm up plans for the date.
How would the rest of you ladies respond to this? Should I just text him back and go out with him, or let him know that I'm not interested in going out tonight as he waited too long to get ahold of me again?
Also, what is with all this texting? Why can't people call you to ask for a date? I'm not that scary
I agree on the whole texting thing. Why did he ask you on a text message? I personally think that if you are going to ask someone on a date it should at LEAST be over the phone!
When my boyfriend and I first got together he used to text me constantly and ask me for dates. I had a talk with him and told him that it is more romantic and just better etiquette to call a girl and ask her out. He said that he really hates talking on the phone, but if it would make me happy then he would call me from now on.
I'm not saying that you should tell this guy this at this early stage. I think I would be a little upset that this guy waited to the last minute to even plan the date? On the other hand, he figured you had already accepted his invitation, therefore he was just letting you know what time the date was set for. The "male brain" doesn't always think in terms of convience to the woman they are dating. I would still go out with this guy, but not ask him about it because he may percieve it as nagging. If he asks you out again, then tell him that you would appreciate him to firm up plans prior to day of the date so you can plan what you have to do for the day.
So, excuse it as the "male brain" not thinking about if it's convenient for me?
By no means am I a ball buster or a princess, but I don't really see myself dating someone who doesn't think about what might be convenient for me. I only ask for what I give in return.
So, excuse it as the "male brain" not thinking about if it's convenient for me?
By no means am I a ball buster or a princess, but I don't really see myself dating someone who doesn't think about what might be convenient for me. I only ask for what I give in return.
Anyway, he just texted "still free tonight?"
It's up to you whether or not you want to give him a chance. If you want to go then accept his invitation and if he does ask you out again request that he give you some advance notice on the plans. He may be dumb and not know that it is something that has upset you.
It's up to you whether or not you want to give him a chance.
You're right. It is my choice. I think the whole situation with him waiting makes me feel like he's not really that interested, which in turn has made me lose my interest. Couple that with the whole texting thing and I find that I'm having to talk myself into going out with him at this point.
I hate using texting while dating, but it seems impossible to avoid.
He's unsure about your interest level. If you're into him, I'd give him a free pass.
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Noooooooo! Don't text him to tell him "I'm not interested now it's too late" that is REALLY lame. Just don't respond, text him back tomorrow and tell him sorry I was already out. End of story, you owe him no other explanation. If he wants to set a date with you it will have to be in advance next time.
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I would think that if you flake on your date tonight, not to expect a date with him EVER.
You made plans. IMO, they're firm plans - you just didn't know the exact details yet.
Are you kidding? That's not flaking on a date!!! He texts her the evening on the day of the supposed date and expects her to be free?
She's a backup plan at this point if she jumps to this text she will always be backup to whatever is going on in his social life.
If they had firm plans he would have called her the day before to set up a time and meeting place.
He's unsure about your interest level. If you're into him, I'd give him a free pass.
Well, I guess that's the problem. I'm not sure if I'm into him. I'm not going to shoot him down or anything, I just want a little more than random get togethers.
He asked me to meet him at a bar later.
I wish I could be excited to go out with him. I would have been if he wasn't being so blah about the whole thing.
You see there you go, he asked you to meet you at a bar later. You know what that means? It means in his eyes you are good enough to have at then end of the night to tag along to some bar where HE planned his night and possibly have you back to his house for a good "ending" to the night but not good enough that he would plan a saturday evening outing WITH you exclusively.
You see there you go, he asked you to meet you at a bar later. You know what that means? It means in his eyes you are good enough to have at then end of the night to tag along to some bar where HE planned his night and possibly have you back to his house for a good "ending" to the night but not good enough that he would plan a saturday evening outing WITH you exclusively.
Haha, I would NEVER go back to his place in that situation.
I know exactly what you're talking about though Tomcat. I've definitely been in that situation before so I know the signs. This seems to be the case.
Well, I kind of turned the tables and just said I wouldn't be in that area of the city tonight, but if he made it over to where I'll be he can let me know.
Star, if he had actually given me a time frame for the date or a place we were going I would feel like I'm flaking, but with the lack of communication I think we can just chalk this one up to mutual flakyness and see if anything happens from here.
Well, I kind of turned the tables and just said I wouldn't be in that area of the city tonight, but if he made it over to where I'll be he can let me know.
Smart cookie you are BannaBee!!!
So you put the ball back in his court if he wants to come and see you he can come to you. Beautiful.
Nice work.
PS was also gonna post before, guys also test to see how much they can get away with and you sent him a nice clear message.
I think for him to make last minute specific arrangements, is poor planning on his part. It shows how inconsiderate he is to you if you were to have had plans and you were made to drop those to accommodate him.
I'm glad to see that you turned the table onto him. Hopefully he'll get the hint.
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