I miss an Internet friend

YoungDiva · 4th September 2008, 5:33 PM

Me and this guy met over 2 years ago on an Internet forum. We were talking to each other at least twice a week for about six months and we became good friends. He told me about some of his secrets and I told him mines. Then, all of a sudden, he stopped messaging me. When I tried to chat with him, he seemed pretty unwilling to talk. Earlier, he told me he had been experiencing some problems with his computer so I thought that was the reason. After a month or so, I asked him if he still had had the comp problems and he said no. He also told me about the mocks he was about to take soon. I thought to myself: 'So, he can't talk to me because he's just busy with school, no need to worry'. I was really relieved. 4 months passed by and he still didn't contact me. I started going really crazy about this situation and worrying that he just didn't care about me and our friendship any more. I decided to find out the truth. I googled the username he uses on most websites he visits (yes I know, i am sad). This way, I found a student forum he uses to talk about the exams and unis. Once again, I was relieved because I knew he didn't lie to me. In February (this year) we finally got the chance to talk properly. This made me so happy because I thought we were gonna start talking on a regular basis, like we used to. . Now, it's september and we haven't spoken to each other ever since

He hardly ever comes to MSN nowadays and even if he does, he disappears after like 5 minutes. I know that he is going to start a uni in October and I feel kinda happy for him because I know he wanted that but on the other hand I know he is gonna be busy with studying and stuff so I'm afraid that we won't get to talk to each other as often as I'd like to (if at all). I'm helpless =/

sugarlump · 4th September 2008, 6:43 PM

Hey hun! Gosh that must be hard, if you were in such regular contact for it just to disappear like that.

One of the foibles of the internet I'm afraid, altho' real life can just be as hard at times too! It sounds as if he's got a lot of things going on and he's been too distracted to chat. If he's off to Uni shortly, he'll no doubt be developing his new study and social life, so there's a real possibility that your friendship may suffer as a result.

I wouldn't take it personally. People just mature and change over time. It can be hard to maintain friendships when your right there next to one and other, never mind when your separated by distance and aren't likely to just bump into each other.

Have you tried to email him and raise your concerns? Nothing too melodramatic, maybe a 'hello, hope life is treating you well, miss talking - hope you can find some time soon to catchup'?

I would tackle that as the first step, but maybe brace yourself for the fact you may not get things back to the way they were.

I'm probably not helping much. But you've always got us LSer to vent to and I'm sure there loads of other cool people on the internet you've yet to meet. {{{big hugs}}}

YoungDiva · 5th September 2008, 12:07 PM

I do have other internet friends who mean a lot to me so it makes things easier to deal with but I considered him my best friend that's why it's so hard for me to accept the fact that we don't chat any more. And no, I haven't emailed him, but I think I'll do it.
Thanks for taking your time to read my post and reply, I really appreciate that *hugs back*

Meaplus3 · 5th September 2008, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YoungDiva

I do have other internet friends who mean a lot to me so it makes things easier to deal with but I considered him my best friend that's why it's so hard for me to accept the fact that we don't chat any more. And no, I haven't emailed him, but I think I'll do it.
Thanks for taking your time to read my post and reply, I really appreciate that *hugs back*

I had the same thing happen to me.. so I know just how you must be feeling. The best thing you can do is NOT contact him. Chat with your other online friends even if those chats are not quite the same as with him..it still helps. I have NO clue as to why some just vanish after chatting so long but, it happens and when it happens it hurts like H***.
The passing of time will help to. Hang in there.

AP

whichwayisup · 5th September 2008, 6:44 PM

He probably has a girlfriend. Also, it seems he hasn't invested as much emotionally like you have about the friendship.

I wouldn't email him or try to contact him. What's the point? You'll only hear from him when he feels like it..That's not a friendship, it's a convienant friendship on his terms.

mohaakilla51 · 5th September 2008, 11:01 PM

Yeah, problem with the internet: People don't take things quite as seriously.

This is a perfect example, I'm sure he thought you one of his good friends too, but he became busy, and it's easy to forget about people you never see. Doesn't mean it doesn't suck, but it's a fact of life.

I had a really close friend in europe (I'm american) and we chatted online all the time, for almost 3 years... then, My computer broke, and, being the stubborn person I am, I was going to fix it myself. Took me almost three months, and, by the time I got back, the forums we frequented were gone... Turns out they were all run by the same guy, and he moved on in his interests. So did my friend it seems.