I've taken some bold steps.... first.. I have donated and thrown away my entire wardrobe,pushup bras? shapers? all those garments designed to conceal the fact that menopause has changed my body? gone, right in the trash! High heeled shoes? gone,replaced with flat shoes with roomy boxed toes,better for elderly feet. I've got a nice selection of plain slacks with elastic waists in dark colors, plain blouses, conservative blazers
Manicures? forget them, my nails have been clipped quite short and coated with clear polish.
Flashy jewels? placed in the safety deposit box.. nothing looks worse than a gorgous ring on gnarled,veiny liver spotted hands.
Makeup? like troweling the stuff on fools anybody.. into the trash with it,along with all the fancy useless skin creams.
My hair? I've an appointment for Sat.. it will be cropped into a super short cut more appropriate for a matronly woman.I've also decided to cease coloring.
I am going to dress and to act my age and maybe find freedom
And it is done! my hair which reached to the bra strap in back is totally shorn into an ultra sensible no nonsense cut. The Goodwill truck came yesterday and picked up all the clothing and shoes that are suitable for younger women. All spandex shapers and push up bras are safely in a trash can, as is all makeup, all perfume.All artifical tricks and tools used by elderly women in a foolhardy attempt to disguise their true age have been thrown out.
Oh and I've also thrown away my HRT tablets!
the only beauty tools I need are simple shampoo and conditioner, unscented soap,skin lotion, deodorant, toothpaste,mouthwash and a nail buffer, clear polish.
No more denying,no more pretending I'm something I'm not.
I don't think I could ever throw away perfume. I have some favorite scents that I wouldn't want to be without.
I look totally like a different person!! I am going to be dumping my contact lenses next week, I've got an appointment for glasses, I want the thickest,ugliest pair money can buy!
Have you always had this self hatred, or was it something that became a part of you through your relationships?
I'm going to be paying for my soon to be ex-husbands online porn subscriptions, I'm going to be funding his expenses for condoms and lube,his dinner dates with the young,nubile women he's already out banging. Cutting out all frills in my lifestyle will ensure I can write that alimony check every month!'
I remember telling one of my friends when the ex & I split, that I had started to feel old & ugly around him. And I did. I felt old & ugly!!!
But, that went away. I too am out of the game. I have no desire for a relationship. Let the younger generation do the cooking & cleaning, ego boosting & servicing... ya know?
I have watched my life and my work become important now that I have refocused.
The most surprising part of all of this...is I found my femininity....my true femininity. And it shows in my work, my life & in my dress. Yes, gone are the heels, the manicures, the push ups, & yes! The diamonds too. I can so relate.
But all of that has been replaced... with lovely flowered flowing skirts, my favorite antique ring... my beautifully cut white blouses that I love so well, ( I can wear these everyday if I please!!). Oh...and finding the perfect flats to match my favorite bag is the highlight of my weekend...(along with my favorite chocolate treat)
Yes sweets...you are on your way to freedom. And true femininity. Trust me on this one. I wouldn't go back to 30 again for no amount of money. I know what's back there...and they can have it. I don't envy them a bit.
I don't think you're looking for advice, and it's hard to formulate a proper response to this level of bitterness and self-hatred, but I hope you come out of this stronger. You did get fcvked in life by the douche of a husband you married. But there is a bright side, always. You're not yet dead. And crap experiences are what make us wiser.
Personally if I were you I'd liquidate all my assets and flee the country. Spend the rest of my life somewhere warm, doing whatever the f I pleased.
__________________
And if I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted
All the time, all the time.
I'm going to be paying for my soon to be ex-husbands online porn subscriptions, I'm going to be funding his expenses for condoms and lube,his dinner dates with the young,nubile women he's already out banging. Cutting out all frills in my lifestyle will ensure I can write that alimony check every month!'
No women are going to want a man who is supported by his exwife and also he is addicted to porn, he is not an attractive prospect at all to women, particularly young ones.
I remember telling one of my friends when the ex & I split, that I had started to feel old & ugly around him. And I did. I felt old & ugly!!!
But, that went away. I too am out of the game. I have no desire for a relationship. Let the younger generation do the cooking & cleaning, ego boosting & servicing... ya know?
I have watched my life and my work become important now that I have refocused.
The most surprising part of all of this...is I found my femininity....my true femininity. And it shows in my work, my life & in my dress. Yes, gone are the heels, the manicures, the push ups, & yes! The diamonds too. I can so relate.
But all of that has been replaced... with lovely flowered flowing skirts, my favorite antique ring... my beautifully cut white blouses that I love so well, ( I can wear these everyday if I please!!). Oh...and finding the perfect flats to match my favorite bag is the highlight of my weekend...(along with my favorite chocolate treat)
Yes sweets...you are on your way to freedom. And true femininity. Trust me on this one. I wouldn't go back to 30 again for no amount of money. I know what's back there...and they can have it. I don't envy them a bit.
I am quite invested in my work and get a lot of satisfaction from it. I also have a lot of different interests and passions. I love tools, fixing things and have signed up for a course in refinishing furniture, something I've wanted to do for a very long time. I'm starting to work on putting a good workshop into my basement where I can tinker away at restoring beauty and grace to neglected, forgotten,furniture... there's a poetic justice in that that is satisfying somehow.
choosing to give up on romance is different than basic maintenance and upkeep for a woman.
you are intermingling different philosophies here regarding age, aging, romance, enhancements, beauty styles and fashion. not to mention bare necessities.
one can look and feel naturally beautiful without lots of "fluff." to keep things simple is very freeing and can be done in a very elegant and classic manner.
one can use bare minimum to enhance an already beautiful feature (features) - like mascara and lipstick only for basic makeup.
if your newfound cleaning out and new personal style involves defiance and revenge on your xH - then just say so...
if the new style makes you feel better - then i hope it works for you. do what makes you happy - not bitter.
No women are going to want a man who is supported by his exwife and also he is addicted to porn, he is not an attractive prospect at all to women, particularly young ones.
Really ? he's walking away with $$$ and an iron clad guarantee of a lifetime of
more $$ flowing into his hands every month, that makes him more than attractive to a considerable number of women. He's already out there dating up a storm.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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