I am completely at a loss for words for how I feel. I cannot believe I am having to write this because a few days ago I was talking about how great my relationship was. Apparently I was completely blind to what was really going on. Or...I am jumping to conclusions.
My bf and I were fighting all weekend long because of his guys nights outnumbering dates with me. I felt like his friends were more important. Little did I know I was way off base.
I had a feeling that there was something not right when he came home last night at 9 and went to bed a 9:45. He hardly ever goes to bed that early. So, I looked through his text messages and was floored by what I found. He was texting about 7:30 p.m. with his friend Paul as follows:
Paul: Hey man you should have stayed longer last night. A b1tch came by that we both could have ****ed.
BF: call her back tonight for real
Paul: yeah i know you been looking for some strange for a while
BF: call ur girl
Paul: k
OMG!!!!!!!! What the hell would you think? I woke him up and asked him if he has ever cheated on me. His reaction was to say "I don't know what your talking about! Where did this come from?" like he was totally surprised, but not. He didn't say no right off the bat like I expected if he really didn't. He got around to saying no, but I don't believe him. This isn't the first time I've had an incling that something was going on, but I didn't want to believe it so I pushed it to the back of my mind. But I can't ignore this. It's too blatant.
Not to mention, I just found out today that last year when we were having problems, he called one of our friends' friend and asked her out to lunch. And he lied to me about it completely. I caught him and our friend talking secretly in their garage last year. When I asked why he and she did that, he told me that they were talking about our problems. Led to huge problems between me and the friend...let me believe she stuck her nose in our relationship for over a year now, when actually, she was jumping his ass for persuing her friend when he was still with me.
What the hell do I do? Am i jumping to conclusions? I am so hurt and confused I don't know what is what in my mind.
I would be jumping to the same conclusions as you are doing. The text messages are damning.
I'm so sorry to hear this, especially after your recent discovery.
I am completely heartbroken. I cried so much last night my eyes were swollen this morning, lol. He won't come out and admit it. And I have no proof. He says the text messages were him just talking **** to his friend. I don't see it that way. Why say those things if you weren't planning on doing it?
I just asked him bout the thing with calling the other girl and he made it out like it was no big deal.
I love this piece of crap man so damn much. My mind understands what is going on and tells me to boot his ass outta the house now. But my heart wants to hang on and see if we can work it out. I feel so stupid...but I love him so much. Ug. I feel like I am caught up in a whirlwind.
Oh, honey. I'm so sorry! But he asked his friend to call the girl that his friend said they could both "do." It sounds convincingly like he f's around on you.
And the other thing is, whoever his friend is, certainly doesn't have respect for women in general. This friend of his shouldn't be flaunting other women, making offers when HE knows that his friend has a girlfriend already. I don't think it's a joke...I re-read your thread and I have to ask, when you were upset and crying ,was he comforting you or did he leave you alone?
I never knew it was possible to love someone the way I love him. And for him to do this to me is so devistating. He keeps coming at me with excuse after excuse and I want to believe him just to be happy again....but I know they will never be that trust ever again. My heart wants to believe him, but all my head hears is lie after lie after lie.
I've been cheated on before, as well, so I do understand what you're feeling. ((GEG))
I hope this is a mistake but I wouldn't bank on it.
Tell him to give you his email sign-on and password. If he refuses or refuses to do so immediately, he's hiding something. Even if he gives it to you, he might still be hiding something through another email address.
And the other thing is, whoever his friend is, certainly doesn't have respect for women in general. This friend of his shouldn't be flaunting other women, making offers when HE knows that his friend has a girlfriend already. I don't think it's a joke...I re-read your thread and I have to ask, when you were upset and crying ,was he comforting you or did he leave you alone?
No comforting really. Just really was adament on denying.
I've been cheated on before, as well, so I do understand what you're feeling. ((GEG))
I hope this is a mistake but I wouldn't bank on it.
Tell him to give you his email sign-on and password. If he refuses or refuses to do so immediately, he's hiding something. Even if he gives it to you, he might still be hiding something through another email address.
He doesn't have access to the internet. I do because of where I work. He is a laborer so he doesn't.
No comforting really. Just really was adament on denying.
Then go stay at friends house or a family members house for afew days so you can think things through, and get space away from him.
If he truly didn't do anything wrong then he WOULD be comforting you, proving to you that he hasn't - giving you access to his email, calling his friend so you could talk to the guy - Instead, he's denying it.
Then go stay at friends house or a family members house for afew days so you can think things through, and get space away from him.
If he truly didn't do anything wrong then he WOULD be comforting you, proving to you that he hasn't - giving you access to his email, calling his friend so you could talk to the guy - Instead, he's denying it.
His friends would be no help. They are single therefore they see me as the enemy for stopping their every night partying with him when we first got together. I believe his friends would even encourage it. Well, hell...Paul did.
Paul: yeah i know you been looking for some strange for a while
Well...that isn't 100% proof that he HAS cheated (or maybe it just means "not in the recent past"?) I'm thinking 'paul' would know if it's a recent, frequent or on-going thing...but if it was, he likely would have used some different type of wording (???)
But one cannot get around the fact that he has "been looking" and "for a while" -- and that sucks a lot. (((hugs)))
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