I haven't posted on here in a while because I felt like the site was hindering my progress. My deal is that my GF and I broke up 3-4 months ago, and I'd log onto LS each day looking for support. People were great, and then I realized I was rehashing the same sh*t each day.
I put everything into that girl, so much so that I spent the last year in a long-distance relationship with her instead of focusing on building and maintaining valuable friendships.
So here I am, a great guy, intelligent, a student and musician, with maybe one person I can call a good friend (who may or may not call me that). I've transfered colleges from a small, private university to a state school. Fall term starts in three weeks.
Has anyone else gone through these "friendless" phases? Do you ever feel like, sometimes it doesn't matter how "great" you are; that sometimes you just have months-long periods of loneliness?
Thanks for reading.
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The search for happiness outside of oneself is always fruitless. Contentment comes from within.
Ha. Im going through that phase right now. It sucked at first but now im used to it and embrace it. A good oppurtunity to test my resolve. I have become more head strong and all that jazz.
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"Discontent is the first necessity of progress. "-edison
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." edison
Well at least it's not affecting your self confidence.
Cheers,
D.
That's true; I'm definitely not arrogant, but I do like myself and can objectively see all I have to offer to people, and to the world. But sometimes knowing these things is not enough.
For example, I just turned my phone off for 4 days. Turned it on tonight - not a single missed message or call. Same with MySpace after a week.
I understand that people are busy, etc., but the fact is that aside from my mom, I'm not "important" to anyone.
I hate when I open a thread or post a post and no one responds. But I realize I still gotta strap on my shoes stack that paper. Who ever is with me through the tough times I know are true friends . But I will remember all the ones that werent callin me , ill be the same dude to turn my back when Im ballin see.
No offence mate, but you do come across as slightly full of yourself. Do you do this in front of the people you know as well, or are you just using it now as an affirmation of sorts?
By the way, that's quite helpful, telling someone who is reaching out and putting themselves out there, totally vulnerable, that they're full of themselves... starting to remember why I stopped hanging around this site a few weeks back.
Because a guy doesn't call himself a loser, he's full of himself. Thanks for the help
You referred to your own greatness twice in one post. And all I said is that it comes across as arrogance (i.e., it merely appears that way), but I even gave you the benefit of the doubt and asked if it was just you trying to reaffirm your own worth, which is understandable.
Okay, you're trying to stay positive. That's fine. But you're wondering why nobody calls and if you do have a habit of big-noting yourself to everybody then there's a likely reason why. But we've ruled that out so we can move on.
You strike me as the kind of person who loves making assumptions about others, and kicking them while they're down, all because you have a sh*tty self-esteem. Yeah, like all I do is talk about how great I am to people. Enjoy yourself on these boards, there are many people left to insult! Have fun!
Has anyone else gone through these "friendless" phases?
Kizik, yes, I've had those phases and for me it's almost a "friendless by choice" thing. Cos if you had given thought to it during that year of LDR, you likely would have realized that you were not nurturing your other relationships(?)
That is, maybe it wasn't a conscious choice but it was still a choice about where you wanted to place your focus and attention. (If that makes sense?)
So, to me, it doesn't have anything to do with our greatness or lack of greatness. It's kinda just where we are at any given stage of growth and development...I get to nurture myself without "hindrance" of external drama and stuff that ultimately won't support that specific period of self-reflection. "Me" is more present in the 'loneliness'...though personally, I don't experience it as loneliness, though. (Am I rambling or making sense? -- feels a bit like both .)
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"They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." ~ Andy Warhol
if you had given thought to it during that year of LDR, you likely would have realized that you were not nurturing your other relationships(?)
Quite true man, I really dropped the ball w/ my friends. Though, they were never that great anyway! I should have been making new ones.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronni_W
It's kinda just where we are at any given stage of growth and development...I get to nurture myself without "hindrance" of external drama and stuff that ultimately won't support that specific period of self-reflection. "Me" is more present in the 'loneliness'...though personally, I don't experience it as loneliness, though.
Very true, and thanks for the insights! My question is, how do you not experience loneliness when day-in, day-out you spend by yourself, and each phone call is a shocking surprise?
Thanks Ronni, you're always such a kind, thoughtful person.
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