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Why is it so hard to meet the right person?


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Old 20th January 2002, 12:55 AM   #1
T.C.
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Why is it so hard to meet the right person?

I'm a 30 year old guy and never had a girlfriend. I have gone out on a few dates with women before but nothing ever became serious. I have had many female friends and they all liked going out with me as friends, but only as friends.

I don't know why I have such a hard time meet the right girl. I do believe in fate and it will happen when it happens. But it is not very fun to never had a girlfriend. People sometimes look at me and wonder what is wrong with me. The fact is I don't think there is anything wrong with me and I consider myself a good person.

I'm in good shape and I work out. I'm not ugly or anything like that. I'm a pretty good dresser and my friends tell me that I'm a nice person and wouldn't do anyone wrong.

I have been seeing a threapist and she told me it might have something to do with me not opening up to people. It has to do with my family and the way I was raised. I'm taking her suggestions and try to open up to people. But very often women just are interested in me romanticlly. Many of them like to be my friends and hang out with me. And I certainly open up to them and have very nice conversations with them. In fact, I would have to say I have more female friends than guy friends.

I don't know what else to do. Would some of you guys and ladies out there give me some suggestions? Thanks.
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Old 20th January 2002, 1:27 AM   #2
Anthony
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Re: Why is it so hard to meet the right person?

Well i have a similar problem im 21 and cant even get a date even though im a nice guy 99% of the time...

1% being seasonal moodiness etc etc... but then again thats

what everyone goes trough.

Well since they see you as a "nice guy" they only want to be friends with you for that specific reason... a guy they can talk to, have fun with etc... without being afraid of having to confront their own insecurities etc. from/ on relationships and/or them selves or without and feeling the obligation to you as they might in a romantic relationship.

...Thats just a shot in the dark and most likely there are other reasons to your problem as well... all dependant on the individual which is the woman you are trying to get to know.

What i have noticed is that opening up doesnt really help unless you know the person really well to begin with. Other times it just scares people... think how you would react if a stranger did that to you.

Well all i can say is that try, try and try again since it is highly unlikely that the "right woman/ girl" will come to your door step and ring the door bell.

... there is allways hope as long as you have the energy/ willpower to followup on it.

Just to point out that you are not the only man out there with such problems.

What exact way were you brought up in and what is your family like etc... that info might help us give you a slightly clearer answer to your query.
Quote:
I'm a 30 year old guy and never had a girlfriend. I have gone out on a few dates with women before but nothing ever became serious. I have had many female friends and they all liked going out with me as friends, but only as friends. I don't know why I have such a hard time meet the right girl. I do believe in fate and it will happen when it happens. But it is not very fun to never had a girlfriend. People sometimes look at me and wonder what is wrong with me. The fact is I don't think there is anything wrong with me and I consider myself a good person. I'm in good shape and I work out. I'm not ugly or anything like that. I'm a pretty good dresser and my friends tell me that I'm a nice person and wouldn't do anyone wrong. I have been seeing a threapist and she told me it might have something to do with me not opening up to people. It has to do with my family and the way I was raised. I'm taking her suggestions and try to open up to people. But very often women just are interested in me romanticlly. Many of them like to be my friends and hang out with me. And I certainly open up to them and have very nice conversations with them. In fact, I would have to say I have more female friends than guy friends. I don't know what else to do. Would some of you guys and ladies out there give me some suggestions? Thanks.
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Old 20th January 2002, 11:44 AM   #3
yes
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Re: Why is it so hard to meet the right person?

I think your is a common scenario..... a guy w/ a ton of gal-friends but no girlfriend...

Do you flirt with girls?

I've heard of girls not dating nice guys cuz 'they're too nice - i dont wanna hurt him' ... - stop being terribly nice...

About opening up - i think u gotta stay a mystery to keep someone interested....so yes - open up, but slowly...

Have u tried asking out any of those girl-friends you have??Or ask them to introduce u to someone n drop her a hint that u might be interested?...

It's probably about treating girls as a friend too much... not being flirty... not trying to build a romantic-type relnship from the start... try to!

And also, there might well be someone who's attracted to you among your gal-friends. think about it...

Good luck!
Quote:
I'm a 30 year old guy and never had a girlfriend. I have gone out on a few dates with women before but nothing ever became serious. I have had many female friends and they all liked going out with me as friends, but only as friends. I don't know why I have such a hard time meet the right girl. I do believe in fate and it will happen when it happens. But it is not very fun to never had a girlfriend. People sometimes look at me and wonder what is wrong with me. The fact is I don't think there is anything wrong with me and I consider myself a good person. I'm in good shape and I work out. I'm not ugly or anything like that. I'm a pretty good dresser and my friends tell me that I'm a nice person and wouldn't do anyone wrong. I have been seeing a threapist and she told me it might have something to do with me not opening up to people. It has to do with my family and the way I was raised. I'm taking her suggestions and try to open up to people. But very often women just are interested in me romanticlly. Many of them like to be my friends and hang out with me. And I certainly open up to them and have very nice conversations with them. In fact, I would have to say I have more female friends than guy friends. I don't know what else to do. Would some of you guys and ladies out there give me some suggestions? Thanks.
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Old 20th January 2002, 12:27 PM   #4
Tony T
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Good advice from yes

Couldn't have said it better. Right to the point.
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