[sedgwick]

People talk a lot on here about how after they were dumped, they made positive changes to their lives, and often that includes learning a new skill. I've gone back to gymnastics in the last few weeks (go Oksana Chusovitina with that vault medal at the age of 33!) and I feel really good about it. After my last big breakup, I started bellydancing, which is without question the most awesome thing that's ever happened to me. After my first big breakup, at 23, I applied for, got into, and finished grad school -- something I had never planned on doing before, but I needed to throw myself into something that would take up as much time as the relationship had. And I got an MFA out of it!

My degrees and my dancing are two goals I'm really proud of having reached in life. I stuck to them and I accomplished them. And so today, because I once again woke up last night dreaming of him and puking (it's been 13 months, when does this stop??), I'm trying to focus on the good things and the things I want to accomplish now. My biggest goals (besides finishing the book and the film) are to be able to do a back handspring and beam again. What are yours, and what have you accomplished that you're proud of after breakups in the past?

[gennamoon]

Well, I want to learn to ballroom dance. There's a military base where I live and they offer ballroom dance lessons starting the end of September. A friend of mine who works over there got me the info. Also, I want to start to take yoga or pilates again. Unfortunately none of those three things start until the end of next month. I did go out for a run on Sunday night and my lungs were a little out of shape (probably because I haven't run in over a year and well...sort of developed a smoking habit again), but after a little while I felt good. I want to get a new pair of running sneakers and start doing that again. It's hard though because once I start to feel somewhat normal again something sets me back...ugh...but it's a work in progress.

[MalachiX]

I completely agree. I'm actually thinking of giving grad school another a go in a couple months if my current options don't pan out (I wanna see what kind of play my new short film gets at festivals and see if I can get a script written and sold first).

As far as skills go, I'm trying to do all the stuff I've wanted to do to make myself a better person and more self-sufficient. I'm learning to bartend which is both a lot of fun (I used to be really into chemistry) and is something that would be a useful source of income in between jobs. I'm also planning to get back into martial arts when I've got some more money (thinking of trying Jujutsu this time).

Often when people are in a relationship, they let themselves go in a number of ways. They have someone who loves them so they self-improvment takes the back seat. It's nice to feel that you can still make yourself a better person. It's nice to know that you're not done growing and you've still got a whole life ahead of you.