In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
Hello, I am a young 20 year old college student. I am a virgin and have never had a girlfriend before, but I am generally regarded as fairly nice, smart, and good looking. Since I have no experience at all with girls, my question is: What qualifies as a date?
For example, last weekend I met a girl I really dig and so I asked her to play tennis with me. We played Monday night and seemed to really "click", so then I asked her if she would like to go to a movie Thursday night (that is kinda the "social" night at my school"). She said yes and we had a good time at the movie too. And we are going to spend more time together this weekend. For all these events, its just us two and we both have a really good time.
So, am I just friends with this girl, or is there the possibility for something more. And if so, how do I make it so that we are not just going to end up as friends?
It could be the start of a dating relationship, but you need to START FLIRTING with her. If you don't, you will only be a friend because you aren't giving off any sexual vibes at all.
Look into her eyes a lot and hold the gaze, smile at her while looking into her eyes, give her small touches frequently (like, brushing her fingers when handing her a tennis racket or something, or touching the small of her back as you guide her to her seat in a movie theater, or brushing a stray strand of hair from her face), tease her and compliment her.
Those are the kinds of things that get a girl thinking of a guy as a bf rather than a friend.
Yea, you have to show interest or else she may think that YOU just want to be friends. Don't be afraid to take risks..if you feel the moment is right..play with her hair or something..women love that..get her to become comfortable around you..and like nora said, you have to give off sexual vibes.
Thanks for the advice! I am kinda afraid that showing that kind of interest too early might scare her away. So far, things are going well and I dont "feel" like we are "just friends" when we are hanging out. So...my very bad instinct says to just wait.
Dude this question is sooo perfectly texted and it summs up a veeeeeeeery important and common case with people...I thank you...well in my point of view..since you were able to isolate her in a movie and a tennis game...and had a good time...there is a possibility that u can be her bf....a good possibility....u have to know if she likes someone else to be able to know if what she is giving is attraction or mixed messages...furthermore...try to speak to her about herlself and ask her often about her problems....try to help her solve them aswell....talk about things only you and her like to make her feel safe and valuabel around you...but what i suggest most is this and this my friend i found out after years of trial and error....try to be friends with her best female friend...get her on your side and let her do the brainwashing...her best friend is a trusted friend and anything she says to ur girl is taken seriously....after this stage it's just you and your personality...I don't know u in perosn but u gotta adjust things to your benefit..
Yea you definitely don't want to push it to soon so that you scare her away but then again, you know her best. What type of a personality does she carry? Is she open about a lot of things? Does she have a good sense of humor? Do you guys have a lot of things in common?
You have to sort of feel the situation out. It's a good thing that every time you're out with her, you get these vibes that you guys aren't just friends; however, you don't want to mislead yourself. The more you anticipate something, the more paranoid you're going to get and send yourself mixed signals.
It all essentially comes down to making her feel comfortable around you and to open up to you. In case she needs something, you be there for her. Basically all the things that a girl would want her boyfriend to have as traits, you should show her that you have the capability of doing those things but don't pose as her boyfriend. If she talks to other guys, don't get mad. Signs of jealousy are okay to show sometimes because it shows the other person that you kind of care and like them. Not necessarily have feelings for them but you're interested. Once a person knows your interested and they're not cruel people, they will begin to develop interest in you as well. Some cruel people, however, will take advantage of you being nice and that's just gonna suck.
ok man thanx alot for yor advice u gave me good things to consider....the nice thing is...I'm going out on a date with her !!!!!!!!! this saturday !!!! so i met her on tuesday !! asked her out on thursday but ONLY AFTER she gave me good signals...we agreed that we shud know eachother more and one thing led to another.....now its my turn to play my cards right...timing...performance and all that must be studied carefully....wish me luck and if u got any advice feel free to hit me
Oh man soryyyyyyyy i thought u replied on my thread mn loooooooool i had a similar thread like this one and things worked out well.....our cases are sooo similar !!! Dude check my thread its like urs man :d gdlk !!!
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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