I'm 22 and still live at home but today my mom got upset because we got an invitation for a birthday party tomorrow and i don't want to go.

The invitation is from this couple who's friends with my dad, the guy's sister-in-law is the birthday girl. She's about my age but we never been friends,one day i saw her at school and told her that i knew her from her brother in law.Well, she played the "i don't remember" when i was at her house the day before.

My mom didn't want to go so she figure she could send me to this party. She said that she can't count on me anymore. I told her i had plans and she said, "well you can always show up".

I'll be 23 pretty soon and i really want to take my own decisions but everytime i try something like this i get smashed with her attitude and then she blames me that i have an attitude.

Do i have the right to not go or should i go to show politeness by going?

[Tony T]

If your mother asks little of you in return for you living at home into your adulthood, I would say going to the party on behalf of the family was the least you could do for her. After all, she could have asked you to mow the lawn, trim the schrubs and take out the garbage. Going to a party is much more fun and you might meet some really nice girls there.

As an adult, you do have a right not to go...but going is not a matter of politeness but a matter of due reciprosity for the generosity of your parents.

Peace be with you in 2002.