[yes]

hi! im still unclear on some things - i'm the girl who's been posting abotu a guy w/ whom i was friends and now we're sort of dating ...

well, my previous bf was very clingy and dependent, so i'm trying to figure out whats the normal level of contact - how often, how much, etc. I know it's whatever u'r both comfortable with, but since my ex was so clingy and wanted me around 24-7, i sometimes see my new guy's independence as a sign of not liking me very much. So I guess I'm asking - where's the borderline? It's cool that he's all independent and has a life ... but i haven't seen him for a week and he's leaving to college in the middle of this coming week, and i have no idea when he'll be back for a weekend (probably 2 weeks after he leaves)...

I remember you all said keep seeing him whether or not we're together for new years. But do these long breaks of no seeing each other seem okay? we still talk every other day or so ...

I know I should probably take him out myself if i feel like - im sure he'd make time for it if i suggested doing smth... but i am also used to the guy initiating contact ... (and he did it constantly).

So can somebody fill me in on the "normal" course of things? I'm afraid my experience with cligy/dependent guys is clouding my judgement.

Thanks!

Hi there,

How long have you 2 been dating? This past week that you haven't seen him...has he been busy working or something?..or spending time visiting with relatives who are in town for the holidays?

You mentioned that you both talk on the phone about every other day..who is usually the one to intiate the phone call,him or you? So what's he been doing this past week...has he said?

Has he dated much before? Maybe he's not sure how much time to spend together, either? Maybe he doesn't want to appear weak or clingy...or maybe he doesn't want you to feel smothered? Or maybe he's using this time off from school to catch up with his friends and family, before going back off to school?

When you talk on the phone, how long do you usually talk for? What's the nature of the conversations? Just chit chat or anything substantial?

Has he mentioned yet, you 2 doing anything together for New Years? If not, has he mentioned what his plans are?

L

[yes]

Hi there, How long have you 2 been dating?

friends for 2 years, dating for about 1.5 months

This past week that you haven't seen him...has he been busy working or something?..or spending time visiting with relatives who are in town for the holidays?

yep, he's busy with friends who are only in town during holidays...

You mentioned that you both talk on the phone about every other day..who is usually the one to intiate the phone call,him or you? So what's he been doing this past week...has he said?

mostly him, sometimes me. not phone - instant messenger. we both prefer it to phone.

he's been going out, packing for college, relaxing. i have been doing the same with my friends, as well as speanding time w/ family.

Has he dated much before?

no, only one gf

Maybe he's not sure how much time to spend together, either? Maybe he doesn't want to appear weak or clingy...or maybe he doesn't want you to feel smothered? Or maybe he's using this time off from school to catch up with his friends and family, before going back off to school?

quite possibly. his ex was VERY clingy, which is why they broke up. he's big on independence...

When you talk on the phone, how long do you usually talk for? What's the nature of the conversations? Just chit chat or anything substantial?

mostly chit chat, update each other on whats been happening... for about half n hr at a time,usually.

Has he mentioned yet, you 2 doing anything together for New Years? If not, has he mentioned what his plans are?

Nope, no talk of new years whatsoever. I got too curious and messaged him asking whats up with him for new years ... i've got a few parties that my friends are organizing to go to so ...

He just replied saying he doesnt have any plans yet! Hmmm...

[yes]

he said he doesnt have plans for new years eve ... and that he's staying out all night with his friends on the 30th, so he wont be staying out all night on the 31st, and that he's busy packing on the 1st (he leaves for college on the 2nd). he asked what i have in mind but i just let it slide ... Hmm. It sounded he'd agree if i suggested smth for new year's but then i thoguht i'd rather go out w/ a crowd of friends than be alone with him ...

That's it.

Thanks.

friends for 2 years, dating for about 1.5 months This past yep, he's busy with friends who are only in town during holidays... mostly him, sometimes me. not phone - instant messenger. we both prefer it to phone. he's been going out, packing for college, relaxing. i have been doing the same with my friends, as well as speanding time w/ family. no, only one gf Maybe he's not quite possibly. his ex was VERY clingy, which is why they broke up. he's big on independence...

mostly chit chat, update each other on whats been happening... for about half n hr at a time,usually.

Nope, no talk of new years whatsoever. I got too curious and messaged him asking whats up with him for new years ... i've got a few parties that my friends are organizing to go to so ...

He just replied saying he doesnt have any plans yet! Hmmm...