I heard that song they other day and it tore my ass up!! It made me think of the last time I saw her and how I should have known in my own mind that would be the last time for good.
As I walked to my car in the parking lot of a restaurant she watched me. We both drove off together and as she pulled beside me she said I love you.
I just wish that I could have held her longer and tighter. Wished that I would have kissed her longer as I stared into her eyes. I wished that I would have touched her more. Damn sure wish I would have said more than I did back on the Friday before Easter.
That day I will never forget because in a sense I knew that I had enough and I should have gotten my closure then. But hope keeps me!! That day was pretty bad early on and it made me departure even worse.
The song nobody knows HIT ME LIKE a TON OF BRICKS!
Now I see that I didn't get closure and it is all my fault. B.A.D----I still love you with everything in me.
For those out there that need closure.. Do not let anger ruin it for you like it did me!!!!
__________________
I once believed in you, I believed in us. You rushed to be with me and you rushed to leave me. Leaving me only with memories in between your rushes!
When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.
The dew of the morning
Sunk chill on my brow--
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame;
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.
They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me--
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:--
Long, long shall I rue thee,
Too deeply to tell.
In secret we met--
In silence I grieve
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?--
With silence and tears.
(Lord Byron)
This post reminded me of that poem. ((hugs)) You can always let go of the anger and remember the good. And so can she.
Thanks NM!! I read that the other day and it rang a bell! I have been in NC for 23 days today and it was like a mutual thing I guess. Our last conversation was not that great with me wanting to tell her goodbye in person, which didn't happen. She was a coward about things.
I just wish that 4 months ago when I had the chance, I would have done it right! It was a LDR too. 360 miles one. I was just so angry about how things continued that I ruined my closure. I don't know, the song reminded me of the that not so faithful day.
Remember. She who cheats with you will cheat on you. U dodged a bullet, darl. Be thankful.
Yeah, a lot of people said that to me. I may have dodged a bullet for sure. I look at it one way that she is her husband's problem now.
My heart always believed things could be different as far as her cheating on me. My mind always thought about it though! It thought long and hard if she has done this before, is she doing it now or was she doing it with others when we were I guess dating!!! I will never know and her husband called me early on... I just wish he would have been tougher and told me things. The things he would have told me would have made me think long and hard about it.
Doesn't change the fact that I loved her and still do. She did some crappy stuff to her husband and me!! I bet she steadily lied to him and still does!!
Yeah, a lot of people said that to me. I may have dodged a bullet for sure. I look at it one way that she is her husband's problem now.
My heart always believed things could be different as far as her cheating on me. My mind always thought about it though! It thought long and hard if she has done this before, is she doing it now or was she doing it with others when we were I guess dating!!! I will never know and her husband called me early on... I just wish he would have been tougher and told me things. The things he would have told me would have made me think long and hard about it.
Doesn't change the fact that I loved her and still do. She did some crappy stuff to her husband and me!! I bet she steadily lied to him and still does!!
When Tony and I first got together, he told me about the fact that he had slept around behind his wifes back. I now know that he only told me what he did ( & probably sugar coated it) so that no-one else would tell me first. I do not believe that he slept with anyone else while we were together simply because we were together 24/7 for 5 1/2 years, so he just never had time. I know he had the inclination though because 3somes were something that we discussed from time to time, male and female.
And yes she did lie to her husband steadily over time. She had you and he going at the same time. What is that if not lying?
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