25 days of NC and seconds away from breaking it...
Same story....
My heart hurts so much... I miss him... I want to contact him...
I know I shouldn't that is why I decided to post here first...
I broke up with him because he was a terrible boyfriend...
but that doesn't ease the loneliness... or the desire to be held...
I could talk to him about anything and now I no longer have that...
It doesn't seem to be getting easier...
When I'm busy I forget about him but on my days off like today I miss him
And he told me that there was no other man for me and I am terrified he's right...
I am on day 22 today myself!! You better not!!! hang tight and see what pops up! Time is truly on our side.
__________________
I once believed in you, I believed in us. You rushed to be with me and you rushed to leave me. Leaving me only with memories in between your rushes!
So, it seems that you broke up with your ex...? What exactly would it achieve if you contacted him...? You have posted that you don't see how things could change, so there is nothing you could say to him which would help either you or him. Nothing you do is going to take away the hurt you have inflicted upon you both. That was a choice you made and made willingly. Unless you have something constructive to say regarding making a second chance at it, I wouldn't give him any false hope. Read around the 'No Contact' threads here - you will see the heartbreak it causes when a person is dumped. The pain is unbearable.
I'm sorry if this doesn't help that much - but you have to think of things from the other side too. If there's no going back, there's no point in contacting him... it will only prolong the agony for you both.
I'm sorry if this doesn't help that much - but you have to think of things from the other side too. If there's no going back, there's no point in contacting him... it will only prolong the agony for you both.
Chinook, said it best!! I can tell you that if you contact ONLY to play games it makes it worse for him. Mine did this crap to me for the longest and it really is cruel!! I guess since we have not spoken in over three weeks she finally sees that it was ripping me up.
So, it seems that you broke up with your ex...? What exactly would it achieve if you contacted him...? You have posted that you don't see how things could change, so there is nothing you could say to him which would help either you or him. Nothing you do is going to take away the hurt you have inflicted upon you both. That was a choice you made and made willingly. Unless you have something constructive to say regarding making a second chance at it, I wouldn't give him any false hope. Read around the 'No Contact' threads here - you will see the heartbreak it causes when a person is dumped. The pain is unbearable.
I'm sorry if this doesn't help that much - but you have to think of things from the other side too. If there's no going back, there's no point in contacting him... it will only prolong the agony for you both.
It's easy to get upset at me because I dumped him, but you would have to understand how he treated me... he would neglect to call for weeks, flirt with other girls on facebook, promise to change telling me he wanted to spend his life with me and then of course never change... I was extremely in love with him but I couldn't handle the agony he put me through...
And for some reason I am sure I am going through more pain... Knowing him he's over it already...
I think the whole problem was that I always cared more...
Chinook, said it best!! I can tell you that if you contact ONLY to play games it makes it worse for him. Mine did this crap to me for the longest and it really is cruel!! I guess since we have not spoken in over three weeks she finally sees that it was ripping me up.
He has always been the one to contact me... we have been playing on and off for a year... and I guarantee you even if I keep NC he will contact me after he decides I have had enough time to forgive him....
It's easy to get upset at me because I dumped him, but you would have to understand how he treated me... he would neglect to call for weeks, flirt with other girls on facebook, promise to change telling me he wanted to spend his life with me and then of course never change... I was extremely in love with him but I couldn't handle the agony he put me through...
And for some reason I am sure I am going through more pain... Knowing him he's over it already...
I think the whole problem was that I always cared more...
Sounds like to me you did the right thing to begin with!! In my case, I did nothing wrong and was GOOD AS GOLD!!! You have NO reason to contact him then.
Sounds like to me you did the right thing to begin with!! In my case, I did nothing wrong and was GOOD AS GOLD!!! You have NO reason to contact him then.
I did do the right thing but that doesn't make it easy to do the right thing in this moment... I'm lonely...I'm only human...
I was willing to give him almost endless chances I just wanted to be treated with some respect....
But the fact remains, you're the one who did the breaking up. No matter what issues you had, or who treated whom which way, you're the one who took the step to sever the bond. You have to appreciate the hugeness of that. I'm not trying to be hurtful... just pointing out that engaging in 'but he did this/she said that' is not going to help. It's only going to hurt you more if you contact him now.
That said, there's something I want you to think about. You took the decision based on his behaviour (which was probably piss poor). However, I'm going to put forward that HE treated you that very way in order for YOU to be pushed to make the decision. Meanwhile, he gets to act like the injured soldier and be hurt because he was dumped. You have to realise your basic incompatibility here. You both push each other and you both take hits from the others' actions. It's not going to work... so no amount of contacting him, is going to help either of you.
But the fact remains, you're the one who did the breaking up. No matter what issues you had, or who treated whom which way, you're the one who took the step to sever the bond. You have to appreciate the hugeness of that. I'm not trying to be hurtful... just pointing out that engaging in 'but he did this/she said that' is not going to help. It's only going to hurt you more if you contact him now.
That said, there's something I want you to think about. You took the decision based on his behaviour (which was probably piss poor). However, I'm going to put forward that HE treated you that very way in order for YOU to be pushed to make the decision. Meanwhile, he gets to act like the injured soldier and be hurt because he was dumped. You have to realise your basic incompatibility here. You both push each other and you both take hits from the others' actions. It's not going to work... so no amount of contacting him, is going to help either of you.
Quite simply honey because you cared about him, and you thought he cared about you. You're not only dealing with the break up and being the dumper, but you're having to deal with him not actually being the person you thought he was and not treating you with respect. Even a relationship is a loss, a bereavement, it takes time to get through it. If you contact him, it's like picking at a sore which will bleed and scar in the long run, trust me hon... I know.
Quite simply honey because you cared about him, and you thought he cared about you. You're not only dealing with the break up and being the dumper, but you're having to deal with him not actually being the person you thought he was and not treating you with respect. Even a relationship is a loss, a bereavement, it takes time to get through it. If you contact him, it's like picking at a sore which will bleed and scar in the long run, trust me hon... I know.
I know this is a ridiculous question, but how long does it take???
Dude, at the time you almost broke NC, I almost broke NC also. I was almost going to text my ex that we should have taken pictures in Montreal when we visited there.
But I didn't. Go me. small victory. I hope you succeeded also.
Same story....
My heart hurts so much... I miss him... I want to contact him...
I know I shouldn't that is why I decided to post here first...
I broke up with him because he was a terrible boyfriend...
but that doesn't ease the loneliness... or the desire to be held...
I could talk to him about anything and now I no longer have that...
It doesn't seem to be getting easier...
When I'm busy I forget about him but on my days off like today I miss him
And he told me that there was no other man for me and I am terrified he's right...
I know just where you're coming from. It doesn't matter that you left them just that you still love them. We didn't leave because there's no love left. I still adored Tony when I left but I still had to go. I'm very lonely for him, I'd love nothing more for him to hug me and tell me how proud of me he is for all of the achievements I've had since we've been apart but it's not going to happen. He too, was a terrible boyfriend but he was, for the most part, my mate. I'm sad, sure but I know that in 12 months, I won't be sitting around still, pining for what could and should have been. If it was meant to be that way, it would have. It wasn't. I'm gone.
Dude, at the time you almost broke NC, I almost broke NC also. I was almost going to text my ex that we should have taken pictures in Montreal when we visited there.
But I didn't. Go me. small victory. I hope you succeeded also.
If it weren't for submitting this thread instead I definitely would have...today has just been one of those brutal days where my heart just aches and aches... I went for 2 one hour walks talked to friends..... cooked a fancy meal even created a budget lol did laundry nothing seemed to help but every time instead of contacting him I came here and typed away
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
25 days of NC and seconds away from breaking it...
Linear Mode
