Is this what your husband should be saying to you?
Ok, I'm really upset right now. My husband rarely has anything good to say about me. He says I suck at singing and that I'm just decent a piano and that is about it. He was making fun of me earlier calling me a loser. This really hurts me deeply. Shouldn't my husband be encouraging me and not insulting me? This really has me on the edge. I really feel like leaving right about now. Am I just over reacting?
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"Your second chance makes a brilliant first impression
on someone who walks in just when you get it right." ~Unknown
"Your vision will become clear,
Only when you look into your heart.
He who looks outside, dreams.
He who looks inside, awakens." ~Carl Jung
Has it always been like that between you and your H?
I don't think that's how a H should talk to his W. My brothers have always been supportive of their Ws and even if there was something that either one is not good at, they will say something in a nice way. They don't put their Ws down. That is for sure, not the way to encourage your partner.
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Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it - Morrie Schwartz
Has it always been like that between you and your H?
No, it hasn't. It has been a pattern just recently. I have always been artisitic, like into music, writing, singing etc but lately I have been getting back into it. It is something I thrive on, yet no support from the hubby.
what is he so insecure about? He sounds as if he feels threatened by something.....
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"Hatred never ceases through hatred, but hatred ceases by love alone. This is the essence of the ancient and eternal law."
"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts; with our thoughts, we make the world."
what is he so insecure about? He sounds as if he feels threatened by something.....
I know, I agree with this. I have no idea what he would be so insecure about. I play 4 instruments, sing, write poetry, etc... I am also athletic as well. He's really not talented in any area like this but he tries. I don't rub it in his face either. Could it be that he's actually jealous? But why? I want a man to support me in what I do, not fight me and insult me on it.
I know, I agree with this. I have no idea what he would be so insecure about. I play 4 instruments, sing, write poetry, etc... I am also athletic as well. He's really not talented in any area like this but he tries. I don't rub it in his face either. Could it be that he's actually jealous? But why? I want a man to support me in what I do, not fight me and insult me on it.
He is jealous and sure you will outshine/are outshining him. Of course, his true fear is that you will leave him.
Ignore his comments or giggle at them. Occasionally remind him how much you love him and are looking forward to a life together.
No, its not something a husband should be saying. I agree with GPFan too, it could be he feels some jealousy or even threatned because maybe you do have some talent and he doesn't want you to know for fear you might pursue something and leave him.
Has there been anything else going on with himlately other than him saying those things?
How does he say it to you? In a joking way or in a rude way? What's his tone and body language during this.
You know you're good so don't let him ruin it for you. Let him think what he wants. He is acting like a baby so the best way to handle it is either ignore him when he says stuff like that or come right out and TELL him you think he's jealous and acting like a spoiled jealous brat.
Ok, I'm really upset right now. My husband rarely has anything good to say about me. He says I suck at singing and that I'm just decent a piano and that is about it. He was making fun of me earlier calling me a loser. This really hurts me deeply. Shouldn't my husband be encouraging me and not insulting me? This really has me on the edge. I really feel like leaving right about now. Am I just over reacting?
Here's what will make him stop: when he tells you things like that.. just answer this: Well now that you're talking about things we suck.. I have to admit that you suck in bed...
Take a pic of his face...
Remind him of things he sucks in.. simple..
__________________ One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Are you maybe trying to blow your own trumpet too many time in front of him? I guess I would also do the same if I thought my other half was getting too vain.
There is also a case for "terms of endearment", for example I kid around with my nine year old son and call him "loser" while wrestling with him. He knows that I'm just kidding and he will call me something like "fart bag" - bless him.
If not these ... is there any other possible reason for resentment, like for instance, taking up intimacy time?
My very good lady hates my spending time on my poetry rather than be with her...
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But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
sounds like a case of resentment and jealousy. Possibly based in insecurity, especially if he wasn't like this before.
talk to him, and ask if he's worried or upset that what you're doing is gonna take you away from him somehow – I know this can sometimes happen when a partner (or a child) feels left out, and the only way they can verbalize is by being negative.
__________________ I think my favorite phrase at this moment is, "Shut your piehole!" It doesn't really refer to anything nasty, but it sure does sound rude.
just thinking back to the period when DH returned from a gig in Saudi Arabia and my job had me keeping some long hours and he was VERY insecure about it, when he normally had been proud of the fact that I was able to land a reporting job as soon as I started looking back into it.
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