I have been dating this girl for 5 weeks, we are in our late 20s, and live 2 hours away. This is what she wrote me, I already wrote her back, but I need to know what you think....
It isn't like I didn't think you would care, I just wasn't sure. I think that you think you are clear and easy to read, as far as feelings are concerned. I on the other hand don't translate you as well. When you call or answer, you sound less than thrilled most days to talk...but, in your defense, I have noticed that you answer the exact same way for everyone you talk to (from what I have witnessed)...so I guess it's just me. Although I don't really lump you in with "everyone else" in my phone friends.
In all honesty, I don't truly believe that this relationship is something huge to you. I kinda just feel like it is just a trial run or something. I think that there is a certain look that a guy gives a chick (and vice versa) when he really digs her...or when he needs her. I am not sure if you are just not that kinda guy, or if I am not that chick for you. I know it is still sorta early, but usually by now, I can tell. I don't feel like you look at me as something important or someone that makes your stomach do flips before seeing me. I don't see much excitement in your face and that worries me. The only reason I am even saying this is because you were shocked that I would think you wouldn't care. This is probably why.
I am not trying to start a fight and I am not saying you are a *** boyfriend. I am simply just saying that more times than not, I don't really get the vibe that you want this relationship. I know that you called me twice and facebooked a few times too...I guess it is usually just the tone of both that makes me wonder.
I am stoked to see you this weekend, don't get me wrong. I hope you don't get utterly pissed at me for this facebook message, I just figured it's better to get it out. I just feel like at this point in my life, I don't want to waste my time or yours, so it's better to be clear. I want to be with someone who shows some emotion. Someone whos tone changes when I call. Someone who wants to text me 100 times a day if I want to text them. Someone who doesn't just leave me hanging at night just because they feel that they talked to me enough that day. Someone who checks there phone 100 times a day to see if I wrote them. Someone who gets butterflies before seeing me. If it sounds ludacris, then you probably aren't the guy for me. I think it is easy. I am easy to please, but I also want what I want. I think that getting that look from your partner, the "rare gem look" (where he seriously looks at you like some sort of irreplaceable diamond) is the priceless part of a good relationship. I pitty any girl who doesn't get it at least once in her life...
Maybe you don't look at me like you did with some of your past girlfriends. Since you are convinced that you are passionate and emotional. Maybe I don't bring that out in you? I'm not sure. I just know that I wonder just about every day, because you are not like any of my past boyfriends. You are to yourself and have little excitement when it comes to me most days or so it seems.
Last edited by MissingMyHubby; 18th July 2008 at 4:18 AM.
Reason: bad words
I think that there is a certain look that a guy gives a chick (and vice versa) when he really digs her...or when he needs her. I am not sure if you are just not that kinda guy, or if I am not that chick for you. I know it is still sorta early, but usually by now, I can tell.
I don't feel like you look at me as something important or someone that makes your stomach do flips before seeing me.
I don't see much excitement in your face and that worries me.
I am not trying to start a fight and I am not saying you are a *** boyfriend. I am simply just saying that more times than not, I don't really get the vibe that you want this relationship.
I know that you called me twice and facebooked a few times too...I guess it is usually just the tone of both that makes me wonder.
I just feel like at this point in my life, I don't want to waste my time or yours, so it's better to be clear.
I want to be with someone who shows some emotion.
Someone whos tone changes when I call.
Someone who wants to text me 100 times a day if I want to text them.
Someone who doesn't just leave me hanging at night just because they feel that they talked to me enough that day.
Someone who checks there phone 100 times a day to see if I wrote them.
Someone who gets butterflies before seeing me.
Ooof that's quite a list after 5 weeks and the later few bits are more of a co-dependant type person or someone defined as needy. I understand the honeymoon phase with all the attention and what not but this is a lot to ask for.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissingMyHubby
If it sounds ludacris, then you probably aren't the guy for me. I think it is easy.
It is ludicrous.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissingMyHubby
I am easy to please, but I also want what I want. I think that getting that look from your partner, the "rare gem look" (where he seriously looks at you like some sort of irreplaceable diamond) is the priceless part of a good relationship. I pitty any girl who doesn't get it at least once in her life...
Clearly NOT easy to please. She has a list of things you NEED to be doing in order to show her you're interested. All that in 5 weeks!? I know the look she's talking about I grew to have that look and got the same look from my ex but that was after months of being together. She said diamond too. uh oh!
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissingMyHubby
Maybe you don't look at me like you did with some of your past girlfriends. Since you are convinced that you are passionate and emotional. Maybe I don't bring that out in you?
She's insecure and trying to force things to be a certain way by a certain time. It's unhealthy to do what she's doing. Be careful.
Also, you have an odd name. MissingMyHubby but you're a guy dating a girl?
__________________
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later. - Mitch Hedburg
Last edited by justaman99; 18th July 2008 at 6:29 PM.
Honesty you gotta love that in a woman!! If you really dig this girl you gotta give her what she wants she sounds to me like she knows what she wants. Goodluck
I wouldn't pursue it. I look at these things as just starters. I wouldn't be surprised if down the road she still would be looking for that constant validation. Say after a year, when things sort of settle down between you two and we all know, we get into somewhat of a routine when things are comfortable. Is she going to have doubts again because you don't look at her a certain way, or didnt text her in the right amount of time, or maybe you forgot to do something one day? My answer would be yes. To me these are red flags of a needy and insecure woman.
Come on. She wants a guy that checks his phone 100 times a day to see if he got a text from her?
I'm not sure what your response was to her but what she really wants to hear is that you are that nuts about her. If you're not, then let her go. She wants that "crazy, butterfly, over the top, can't live without you" kind of love. Can't blame her, really. You may be too reserved for her.
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Is she trying to dump me in an email?
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