[MrHurt]

Would you stay married to your wife who cheated on you why/why not?

As you guessed it my wife of 5 years cheated on me with a associate she worked with. Never thought that she would I was wrong! We have been separated since she came clean. Thank the lord we dont have kids. I dont know if I will ever be able to trust her again fully. What are your thoughts and opinion? What would you do?

[Jennifer26]

Originally Posted by MrHurt

Would you stay married to your wife who cheated on you why/why not?

As you guessed it my wife of 5 years cheated on me with a associate she worked with. Never thought that she would I was wrong! We have been separated since she came clean. Thank the lord we dont have kids. I dont know if I will ever be able to trust her again fully. What are your thoughts and opinion? What would you do?

First off, let me just say how sorry I am to hear you're in this situation. (hug)

I'd like to say if I found out my husband was having a physical affair with another woman I would leave. And I might. But I've never been in this situation so I can't really say for sure how I might react.

I guess a lot would also depend on many things. For start, how did you find out? Did you catch them, or did she come clean and confess? If she did confess, does she seem remorseful? Is she willing to go to counseling and through great lengths to earn back your trust?

You won't be able to trust her for a while, and you shouldn't. She will need to EARN back your trust and this will largely involve being completely transparent to you. Meaning you will know where she is, you will have access to anything and everything in her life. There will be no 'privacy' for some time and she will need to deal with that.

If she thinks that you should just accept what she did, and there should be no effort on her part to work this out - then yes, I think I would leave if I were in your shoes.

[angie2443]

Originally Posted by MrHurt

Would you stay married to your wife who cheated on you why/why not?

As you guessed it my wife of 5 years cheated on me with a associate she worked with. Never thought that she would I was wrong! We have been separated since she came clean. Thank the lord we dont have kids. I dont know if I will ever be able to trust her again fully. What are your thoughts and opinion? What would you do?

If I was in your shoes, I would just leave. You have no children, and if you stay, you risk bieng cheated on again (I believe that certain people are just more likely to cheat. Your wife has proved that she has this in her.

Having said this, I don't know that much about your situation. There could have some extreme circumstances or you could really want to make this work. If you stay, get MC and evaluate your relationship after you guys have had some counseling. Good luck.

[luvstarved]

Nobody can tell you what to do, we all have our dealbreakers.

The bottom line I guess is in whether the cost/benefit works out for you.

Like Jennifer26, I cannot say for sure what I would do because I have not been in that situation. I advertise it quite loudly as a dealbreaker, and am 99% certain that I would leave. I have trouble with trust in the first place and no matter how hard my H tried I do not think I would be big enough to ever forgive and trust again.

But plenty of people do work through and come out the other side with stronger marriages...you need to do some soul searching and consider what is in your best interests.

Best wishes...