For the most part I’m quite good at understanding girls but I seem to be really confused.
I've met this girl who I’ve been getting to know... when we are together its perfect and all the right signals are there... e.g. Constant eye contact... flirty touching.... and always wanting to be alone..
So I know that she likes me...
But the problem is when we are not together. I seem to be the one texting her and msn her.... when she finally replies...again it’s perfect.
What I’m having trouble with is that I’m not sure if she is playing a game 'hard to get' or that she is not that interested and is using me to pass time.
What should I do... my friend thinks that I should let her make the next move but I’m afraid that she would feel that I’m not that interested?
Let her text you and or communicate with you first. If there is even anything she will go out of her way to talk to you, but if she is just doing the whole casual dating scene, then if she isnt communicating with you, just means there is something more interesting.
I am saying this assuming you are near my age (18)
I have found girls will sometimes try to act like they aren't that interested in things like aim or msn. You will sign on and they will just sit there and wait for you to message them no matter what. The only way around this is to just play her game, no matter how childish you feel. I hate the whole "imma play like I'm busy" game ****, but if you continue to keep initiating conversation, you will always be the one doing it. Next time you get on and shes already signed in, you know she saw you get on, just sit there and talk to other people. Turn on the tv, whatever you wanna do. If you get bored after like 15 minutes, get off. The next time you get on, she will most likely be the one to start the conversation.
From what I can tell you’re in a complex situation...
obviously you don’t want to just ask her... I suppose u could just keep talking too her when possible and see how things play out. I would keep the texting and msn to a min and if you can let her make the first move.
One thought that has crossed my mind was... that she is trying to blow me off... but then i dont understand why she is soo nice too me when we are together...
I'm seeing her later i was just wondering, without asking her directly is there a clear way to know if she is interested?
thank you xx
Sounds to me like she just likes being the center of attention when the opportunity arrives, though she doesn't set out to achieve it. Probably why she won't contact you first if you play the waiting game, but is very receptive when you make contact.
My advice is to learn how to leave her hanging on the edge. For example, take notice to some small quirk about her, like how her eyes squint when she laughs or something equally minor like that. Once you have it, tell her there's something funny you noticed about her, but act reluctant to say it. The more she eggs you on what it might be, the more reluctant you should act. Tell her it's probably not the right time to say it. Tell her it isn't appropriate right now. Do everything you can possibly do to change the subject. Act like it was a mistake to bring it up.
If she's the type of girl I think she is, you'll have her undivided attention. She won't leave you alone. She'll start to touch you more. I guarantee it.
I'm with TBF...just ask her out directly (no open-ended questions) and accept the answer and proceed from there. If she's not directly receptive, move on to a woman who is more easily understood
she may not be interested. Why haven't you just kissed her already? If you hold back and act unsure of yourself and don't kiss the girl when you had the chance you'll lose her interest. If your woried she is playing a game it won't help for you to stop calling her in your own game of finding out if she likes you.
Unfortunately, a lot of women like being the object of a man's attention/affection, but that's as far as it goes. They get off on the idea that a man is infatuated with them; this feeds their ego, especially in times when they may be facing other difficulties in their lives, e.g the man they really like is ignoring them.
Generally, a woman not calling you is not a good sign.
She should be calling you at least once for every 2-3 times that you call.
She should be interested with the prospect of going out with you, and should actively pursue this.
Yes, women do play "hard to get" , but often it is really "hard to never get".
Believe me, I have been facing such a situation, so I talk from experience.
Try what MJR recommended, its sounds quite interesting!
I'm with TBF...just ask her out directly (no open-ended questions) and accept the answer and proceed from there. If she's not directly receptive, move on to a woman who is more easily understood
That's exactly it. The sooner you find out, the less time you'll spend trying to figure her out so you can reel her in. The more thought you put into someone, the more likely you'll be bitter if she jacks you around or turns you down in the future.
For the most part I’m quite good at understanding girls but I seem to be really confused.
I've met this girl who I’ve been getting to know... when we are together its perfect and all the right signals are there... e.g. Constant eye contact... flirty touching.... and always wanting to be alone..
So I know that she likes me...
But the problem is when we are not together. I seem to be the one texting her and msn her.... when she finally replies...again it’s perfect.
What I’m having trouble with is that I’m not sure if she is playing a game 'hard to get' or that she is not that interested and is using me to pass time.
What should I do... my friend thinks that I should let her make the next move but I’m afraid that she would feel that I’m not that interested?
Any help would be awesome xx
Welcome to trying to figure out American women, you in for a ride.
LOL!
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What I’m having trouble with is that I’m not sure if she is playing a game 'hard to get' or that she is not that interested and is using me to pass time.
What should I do... my friend thinks that I should let her make the next move but I’m afraid that she would feel that I’m not that interested?
Any help would be awesome xx
THis is borderering on rudeness on her part. The standard way of dealing with marginally poor behavior from women is to retreat and let them close the gap..
Never tolerate the "hard to get" game. This is a power play.
You need to "train" some women to act more maturely because a lot never will if you accept their teenage style game playing without protest..
However ,if you are attracted to a woman who plays like this you should give her the chance to change her ways. She may be a keeper under that silliness.
Here is the rule- If you contact her and she ignores you NEVER chase after her. DO the opposite- pull back. She will "get the message " eventually that her games result in silence from you . IF she is worth it she will change her ways. IF she continues to play the "unavailable " game dump her.
Men need to realize the way to have a successful relatiomnship with a great women is to first filter out the losers and the loonies.
Act like a man with high self regard. YOU set the rules of engagement and quit worrying about some woman "not liking " you because you do not chase after her. .
Last edited by imbewildered; 23rd July 2008 at 7:50 PM..
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