[ntucci12]

I remember I 16 when I had sex for the first time. By 19, I couldn't remember (not some astronomical number, just not very many meaningful) how many there had been. I got married at 22 and spent the better portion of my mid 20s loyal and available to my now ex wife. We had our moments like most couples, no kids, just dogs, a lot of dogs. 6 if you count the dauschund. Anyways, it was her low self-esteem that insisted on her inquiring confidence from men other than myself. I was sick in and out of the hospital with cancer (ok now) and I saw her less than I did when we were at home working 70+ hour weeks! I found out from a friend with a quasi guilty conscience that she had been paying "the band" regularly in my uncontrollable absence. I was crushed and given the magnitude of things I already had on my plate, I decided to let it linger. It wasn't until a couple years later that I decided to let it all go. I took control and was kind enough to leave a note. Since then we talk on occasion, and even though getting back together with her is the farthest thing from my mind, I find myself always wondering- How many times? How many times did you feel insignificant? How many times did you break your wedding vows? How many times did you abandon the one sure source of love and affection? These simple questions have been eating me up lately. Any input as to what this could mean? Thanks in advance!!!

[Saxis]

I've found that the number doesn't matter. Once is too much.