[Lost-and-Found]

I recently had my heart smashed into little tiny fragments by my now ex-boyfriend whom I dated for 5 months this year – we broke up a month ago.

The entire time that I was in the relationship I was attending a college and became incredibly close with one particular guy. He is hot, kind, jokes around, doesn’t feel the need to treat me as if I might break at any moment because I’m female but also knows when to treat me like a girl he’s an amazing guy and due to the fact that I –unlike all the other girls at the college- didn’t treat him as if he was a god because of his looks [lol seriously] we became great friends in the 5 months at college together.

I told him everything that happened with my ex when he and I were together, and when we broke-up he was so kind and was genuinely worried about me although we didn’t get to see each other since we both left the college and he’s getting a lot of late shifts. One night I was REALLY depressed and I told him why I was upset [I was so sick of being harassed by my family for my ex and I breaking up] and he texted me back almost instantly saying:

“Are you ****ing serious? Shut up already. Your an awesome chick and any guy would be lucky to have you. Stop beating yourself up about it because you didn’t fail him as a girlfriend, he failed you. You shouldn’t be thinking like that. Please. Promise me you won’t? I’m pretty sure you have a lot more going for you than you think.”

I knew I liked him the entire time I was with my ex but since we broke up all I could think about was him. How glad I was that I could talk to him. So when I read that text my happiness was off the charts, I couldn’t stop smiling for an entire week. I talked to my guy mates the other day [whom haven’t met him but know all about him] and they told me to just be confident and tell him how I feel. So I told him I need to speak with him, and somehow got invited to his basketball match and he’s driving me there so I’ll tell him on the way home; he keeps asking me what I need to say…it makes me feel like he knows…but he doesn’t. I don’t think he does. I hope not anyway lol.

BUT that was 24 hours ago

I believed I understood the situation…until just a few minutes ago…

My plan is now in turmoil...he's now busy tonight, as his family had organised for them to go out for dinner after his basketball match for his brother's birthday without telling him what day [until this morning], I know it's the truth and not him trying to get out of seeing me but it's kinda like a kick in the gut...

It kinda killed my confidence. He said that he'll text me anyway, if he can or can't see me for a little. But I don't know if I have the nerve now, I feel like I’m bothering him because he kept asking me on the phone "so what's it about?" over and over, and all I could say was "I can't say over the phone. I just need to speak with you."

Is it silly? I bet it is but I can't get in touch with any of my mates at the moment [figures] and I’m the worlds BIGGEST over thinker LOL so it's not to great to leave my thoughts and let them simmer in my mind.

[Lost-and-Found]

anyone got any advice?

[whichwayisup]

This just happened and you shouldn't be feeling so insecure. What changed in less than 24 hours other than his plans unexpectedly? You think his feelings did a 180 all of a sudden?

Talk to him, be honest about how you feel and go from there..Try to not feel insecure.

[Prodigal Princess]

I think you're running away with your emotions and looking too deeply into his text message. Frankly, it sounds like a text message that any friend would send.

I wouldn't be surprised if this guy just sees you as a mate and nothing more. You've built the basketball game up into this huge thing and he is just seeing it as a casual catch-up.

I think confessing your feelings for him at this point would be a mistake. He'll probably be overwhelmed and, in any event, just think you're on the rebound. I think a better way to go about this would be to just start flirting with him, testing the waters to see if he's responsive.

Another thing - you only just broke up a month ago and you are still heartbroken. Why do you want to rush into something else?

[Prodigal Princess]

(By the way, I see you're from the 'gong. I love surfing down there!)

[Angel1111]

I agree with Prodigal. I think you read way too much into his message. Besides, if it really means that he's nuts about you, then let him tell you. This guy gets sick of women falling all over him. I don't know who these guys were that told you to tell him this but I think it's an incredibly bad idea.

Now, of course, if you decide not to say anything to him, you've got to come up with some story that you were going to tell him because you've prepped him for something.

[xCarmenx]

Originally Posted by Angel1111

I agree with Prodigal. I think you read way too much into his message. Besides, if it really means that he's nuts about you, then let him tell you. This guy gets sick of women falling all over him. I don't know who these guys were that told you to tell him this but I think it's an incredibly bad idea.

Now, of course, if you decide not to say anything to him, you've got to come up with some story that you were going to tell him because you've prepped him for something.

I agree. If he's nuts over her, he would and should be the one to tell her....and the text msg is no indicator, that he's feeling anything other than friendship. I've recieved text msgs like this before from past guy friends, saying Im a top girl, any guy would be lucky to have me, i have a lot going for me....blah, blah....that is the kind of thing that male friends do say.

Call me *old fashioned* but I would never, ever, reveal to a guy that I had feelings for him, unless I was 100% sure my feelings would be reciprocated, or he'd just plain outright told me how he felt. The guy ALWAYS makes the first move in my book....

But anyway, if you do decide to pursue this and go ahead and tell him how you are feeling......don't be surprised if you don't see him for dust!!

I wish you luck in whatever you decide anyway