Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
My BF recently started a 2nd job as a bouncer on weekends.
He loves the job, as he's in a small town, (1,400 KM away from where I am), and he pretty much gets paid to hang out in the bar with all his friends.
Every weekend, I get a weekend recap of all the girls who hit on him. This last weekend, in his words a "very cute chick" he's known for a while told him she's getting married soon and has always had a huge crush on him. She pretty much offered him to give her a last horrah before she walks down the aisle. To which he turned her down, telling her he has a girlfriend.
I trust my bf with all my heart, and a big part of me is grateful that he tells me these things, as he wouldn't say anything if he were cheating. For some reason though, I can't get this out my head. Maybe it's the fact that it's a "very cute chick". Maybe it's because I know that if we ever have problems, there are a lot of girls falling over him, and he'd have no problem hooking up with someone else.
I'm not sure if I'd be better off not knowing about every girl that hits on him, or continue hearing these stories and have them stuck in my head.
You know, I find that guys love to talk about all these girls that 'hit on' them. In reality, most of the stories are exaggerated simply for an ego boost.
If you really trust your bf, then I would just tell him that you would rather not hear about girls hitting on him because it makes you uncomfortable.
I don't know what it is, usually I just throw some sarcastic comment at him about beer goggles or him being the last resort since he's the last one they see as they're heading out the door. We joke around a bit, and it never has really got to me.
This one story for some reason is bothering me. I can't figure out if it's because he finds her attractive, or because she's always had a thing for him, or what about this story is different from some of the other stories he's told.
I think it is mostly the fact that he referred to her as a cute girl, whom he has known before. Yes, it sucks when other people hit on our boyfriends or girlfriends. Jealousy rears it's ugly head.
Your bf seems like a good guy. He turned her down, and she is to be married. I would just brush this incident off and ask not to hear anymore stories.
During college, me and my friends used to go to a particular bar. We would hit on girls etc, usually get shot down.
One of my friends and myself actually got jobs at that same bar.
All of a sudden it was like we were both Tom Cruise in Cocktail. All the women wanted us. The same women that turned us down were asking us to go home with them. Numbers were given to us almost nightly.
We were the same people, but now we were in the spotlight which made us desirable. We always laughed and talked about how ridiculous it was.
You're right. He totally is shocked that he's become some kind of sex symbol just by working at this bar.
If it boosts his ego and his confidence, that's great. I've never had a problem with it. I tease him about it most times. Only because I know he's not acting on it.
Maybe my hormones are just out of balance right now, and I know I'm missing him like crazy, so that probably has to do with why it's bothering me too.
It's probably silly, but I want to be the one that's making him feel good about himself, not some floozy girl who is dissastisfied with her own man, so she has to make a move on mine.
Well the problem is most men are usually as faithful as their options.. Put a man in a rock group and he is more likely to cheat than if he works from home as an IT guy.
Luckily, he's not most men. I trust him when he tells me he turned her down that he actually did.
This is a 25 year old, who is very attractive, has a great personality and could have chosen the path of a player, but instead has only been with 3 women.
Not all men think exclusively with their smaller head. I was lucky to snag one of the good ones.
Yay, you should feel lucky and special that he is such a great guy. I wouldn't care if I were you, I hate to hear my boyfriend say some other girl is cute, pretty, hot, etc. because it makes me feel like "I'm not the only one.." but in reality he is with you for much bigger reasons than that.
It always makes me laugh when my boyfriend tells me how many people checked him out, but I just tell him its because he is so good looking. Hopefully the boost he got from other women was downplayed when he got a boost from the woman that means to most to him. If you trust him, there is no reason to worry here. Good luck!
sadly he is still a guy. He likes the attention. It make him feel like a whole bag of chips to have pretty girls hit on him. He likes the attention. It may be something new, but everyone likes such attention. It is just going to his head. Now 2 things could happen. He could let it in one ear and out the other and just be a way to stuff his pants with ego or he lets it really go to his head and tries to be a little playboy. If you trust him tell him to knock it off. if he really just likes you he will save it for the guy talk on poker nights.
I think this might be exposing your own insecurity. The unspoken question you're asking, by constant reference to this 'cute chick' is, "What might she have that I haven't?"
The answer seems to be 'plenty' because he turned her down, telling her about you. So he has standars and morals.
If it really bothers you, no matter how much or how little, you should air your concerns. That's what a healthy relationship will tolerate. if you can't tell him how much it disturbs you, and tell him that it's not him you're worried about, it's the cute chicks, then something's a bit amiss.
Tell him you miss him. You're so far apart, and you worry about all these girls flinhing themselves at him....I guarantee he'll put your mind at rest. (has it ever occurred to you that he may be thinking that whilst he's away, some guy might hit on you....?)
Remember also, in a nightclub atmosphere, these women are more likely to have had a drink or two... whilst he's working (presumably) he's sober.... he can tell when it's the drink loosening the tongue.... A sensible guy dismisses this kind of talk as one tequila sunrise too many. Others may think "Yay, onto a winner here!" but most bouncers are employed because they can take control of a situation, not because they can necessarily lay someone flat on their back with a left hook....The last thing a good bouncer wants, in any sense of the word, is complications.
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