I have a friend I met 5 years ago.We have been so sexually attracted since day 1. We had an affair for while and we stopped seeing each other. We bumped into each other a week ago and it was passion again. He travelled and bought me sexy lingerie and we played with all this the past Monday. We had passionate sex abd it was amazing!! We were in touch on Tuesday and wrote text messages on Wednesday. We agreed to have another sexual encounter today but he totally disappeared on me and he turned off his cell phone. What is going on? I dont want a relationship with him, and either does he, its just for fun so we did he disappear?
See the thing is, Im involved in a similar thing. The guys do this just so that you are absolutely aware that its casual and he owes you nothing
__________________ Does it matter if he lied to you or your friend? It only mattered that he lied in the first place and that's enough to justify that he's not a perfect person for you. (xpaperxcutx)
See the thing is, Im involved in a similar thing. The guys do this just so that you are absolutely aware that its casual and he owes you nothing
I don't know. Maybe if the guy is retarded but I for one have never done this. Actually I'm sort of on the receiving end from a girl, so what does that say?
__________________ "Your freedom ends where my nose begins" - Pierre E. Trudeau
I have a friend I met 5 years ago.We have been so sexually attracted since day 1. We had an affair for while and we stopped seeing each other. We bumped into each other a week ago and it was passion again. He travelled and bought me sexy lingerie and we played with all this the past Monday. We had passionate sex abd it was amazing!! We were in touch on Tuesday and wrote text messages on Wednesday. We agreed to have another sexual encounter today but he totally disappeared on me and he turned off his cell phone. What is going on? I dont want a relationship with him, and either does he, its just for fun so we did he disappear?
He hasn't disappeared he just isn't getting back to you right away because that isn't what your relationship is about. If I were you I would shrug it off and make other plans. If you just want "casual sex" with this guy I wouldn't suggest you start stressing about unreturned phone calls or anything else or you will get hooked. Chances are he is not just having casual sex with you.
You guys are right. Neverthelesss, He said he had a secret crush on me since we first met and I feel that he is crazy around me. He could do anything for me like buy me stuff or help me get a job just to please me. Maybe he is scared that he will get his feelings involved and he can't because we were both married before to other people and can't see ourselves into another serious relationship again.
At least not for now. He did call me for the next two days after being together intimately but on the day we planned to be together again, he disappered and turned off his cell phone. He was leaving this morning to the Bahamas for a business trip but why turn his cell phone off the day before he left for this trip? He knows I don't want to get involved into a serious relationship, so he doesn't need to worry about commitments. Why disappear and turn off his cell phone so NOBODY will call him and not even return my e- mail message were I simply exposed to him that I want everything to remain just casual?
Why disappear and turn off his cell phone so NOBODY will call him and not even return my e- mail message were I simply exposed to him that I want everything to remain just casual?
Calling someone several days in a row, sending e-mails, and redialing just to see of their phone is on does not say "just casual". Your mouth is saying just casual, but your behavior is saying "I want a relationship".
The definition of casual can vary, but daily phone calls and e-mail isn't what I would term "casual". You might want to re-explore your feelings on this one and ask yourself if you are just settling for sex with this man when what you really want is love.
I don't know. Maybe if the guy is retarded but I for one have never done this. Actually I'm sort of on the receiving end from a girl, so what does that say?
So what exactly is she doing?
I believe in these situations that there is a 'push/pull' scenario going on. I think it can be reversed of you stop doing the pushing, and do more of the 'pulling' away. Cos then they think, hey, where is that person that was always trying to contact me?
__________________
You thought you didn't need him until you didn't have him, right?
What makes you think he won't do the same thing?!?!?!
Calling someone several days in a row, sending e-mails, and redialing just to see of their phone is on does not say "just casual". Your mouth is saying just casual, but your behavior is saying "I want a relationship".
The definition of casual can vary, but daily phone calls and e-mail isn't what I would term "casual". You might want to re-explore your feelings on this one and ask yourself if you are just settling for sex with this man when what you really want is love.
I agree with this.
I mean, if you cant handle not being able to get him on his phone for one day, then really you are wanting more from this guy, and probably he senses this anyway.
I suggest you start doing some of the pulling away.
You guys are right. Neverthelesss, He said he had a secret crush on me since we first met and I feel that he is crazy around me. He could do anything for me like buy me stuff or help me get a job just to please me. Maybe he is scared that he will get his feelings involved and he can't because we were both married before to other people and can't see ourselves into another serious relationship again.
At least not for now. He did call me for the next two days after being together intimately but on the day we planned to be together again, he disappered and turned off his cell phone. He was leaving this morning to the Bahamas for a business trip but why turn his cell phone off the day before he left for this trip? He knows I don't want to get involved into a serious relationship, so he doesn't need to worry about commitments. Why disappear and turn off his cell phone so NOBODY will call him and not even return my e- mail message were I simply exposed to him that I want everything to remain just casual?
it could have been something as simple as his battery was flat.
Location: The westcoast of Canada, the traffic jam of the olympics, oh joy
Posts: 62
Do you want this to go on for 5 years??
Take it from me. I got into a casual sex thing too. After many disappearing acts and a two month on and four month off for 2 years I am finally realizing that I wasn't being honest with myself. I thought if we just kept it casual that eventually ..... things might change. His coming and going and NC combined with constant texting/phoning/ was crazy making. Instead of it staying casual it turned into where has he gone? and why did he go? Is he seeing someone else? Is he really attracted to me? Did I do something wrong?
Its all part of the game.. Its called power and control. If I as a guy disappear without explanation you will obsess about me and therein lies the the HOOK which turns it from casual to crazy making really quickly. Bottom line he has all the control in the relationship. The only way to turn the tables is to stop it and demand monogamy.
Take it from me. I got into a casual sex thing too. After many disappearing acts and a two month on and four month off for 2 years I am finally realizing that I wasn't being honest with myself. I thought if we just kept it casual that eventually ..... things might change. His coming and going and NC combined with constant texting/phoning/ was crazy making. Instead of it staying casual it turned into where has he gone? and why did he go? Is he seeing someone else? Is he really attracted to me? Did I do something wrong?
Its all part of the game.. Its called power and control. If I as a guy disappear without explanation you will obsess about me and therein lies the the HOOK which turns it from casual to crazy making really quickly. Bottom line he has all the control in the relationship. The only way to turn the tables is to stop it and demand monogamy.
I think that only way to treat a guy like this is to do exactly the same thing back to him.
I saw a thread or someone posted an article on here about how, even in "normal" dating you should take your cues from the guy. Like if he calls you call him back, but dont initiate etc.
So if this guy is doing the disappearing act, then i think its about time she did one too.
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We agreed on casual sex so....
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