Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
... and of course I was highly pissed at her. She's apologized but it's still bothering me a little. We've been together for a little over a year now and everything has been great for the most part.
The background to this is that she told me about a month ago about a guy that had been asking one of her girlfriends who she was and wanted to get her phone number. Fast forward to this past weekend where one of her girlfriends (a different one) was having a b-day party. It just so happens that this guy was also having a party at the same place and told the other GF to invite her.
Now the story from her is while at the party the guy kept coming over and asking for her number so she gave it to him and was upfront with me about it. I basically went off on her over the phone as she told me the same night. I kept asking her why she would do that knowing this guy is interested in her and she really could not and has not given me a straight answer which is just causing me to be even more upset. She's promised me it means nothing, that she made a mistake and has apologized but I can't get the question out of my head as to why she would do such a thing.
The thing is, while i'm still mildly upset about it I want to believe her since she was upfront about the whole thing. But at the same time her refusal to give me a logical reason for what she did is leaving a hint of doubt in my mind about her sincerity.
Am I wrong for continuing to harp on this or should I just let it go and allow it to blow over? Am I being naive?
Something does not smell right here. If she felt he was bothering her she could have given him a fake number just to get rid of him. The fact that she gave him her real number says a great deal. Now if you catch her talking to him she will tell you he just called and what could she do. I am sorry but she is playing you here. If the roles were reversed do you honestly think she would buy such a story from you?
Hey man, just thought I'd post quickly to let you know my input here.
I've been here. Don't let their relationship evolve, even into good friendship. I've had this happen, recently, with my girlfriend of a year. She gave her number out to "some guy," and had been texting, calling, getting rides home (from her work), etc. 24/7. It had pissed me off, and we eventually broke up, because my jealousy took me over.
Don't let it evolve, I'm telling you. That'll be the biggest mistake of your life.
I've been here. Don't let their relationship evolve, even into good friendship. I've had this happen, recently, with my girlfriend of a year. She gave her number out to "some guy," and had been texting, calling, getting rides home (from her work), etc. 24/7. It had pissed me off, and we eventually broke up, because my jealousy took me over.
Don't let it evolve, I'm telling you. That'll be the biggest mistake of your life.
Either that, or question if the sort of woman who can be easily one over at a party is the sort of person you want to go out with.
Quote:
If she left out these details when talking to him, then she's not your girlfriend.
She probably didn't tell the guy she had a boyfriend and she's probably not telling you the whole truth either. Just from experience
I agree that smth here smells just wrong...
You shouldn't accept Your GF giving out her number to guys she doesn't know nor needs to know when dating with you. Only explanation for her to give out her number to a strange guy is if they need that connection professionally like for her work or smth...but even there i would be careful as it seems that guy defenitely has an interest in Your GF. You should confront your GF and ask what's the deal...also a good argument in that conversation would be if You aske her to put her in Your shoes and how would she react in the same type of situation. If You really love this girl try to figure out if she really feels as strong about You too bcz her actions seem to show smth else, not very commited to You...Seems like she is still out in the look for smb else too...
Good luck...
That's not the sign of a committed girlfriend, ditch her before she cheats on you. It's only time. And no amount of excuses can be made for handing out a number to a man/woman who is interested in you.
Something does not smell right here. If she felt he was bothering her she could have given him a fake number just to get rid of him.
Or better yet tell him that she has a boyfriend and doesn't give her number out to other guys. And if he kept on her to give him her number, then she could have gotten nasty with him about it.
But she didn't want to do that. She liked the guy and didn't want to burn that bridge.
The answer is she wants the guys number.. she is interested in him..
I'm one of the most tolerant people I know I wouldn't put up with that blatant of a move..
I would act and not react
I would dump her !!!!
She just showed you her intentions with you are not worthy of a commitment and she also showed you that she intends to continue to look for other guys and talk to other guys...
this isn't about the guy who gave the number.. this is all about her and the fact that she considers herself in play.
__________________
~~ One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.. ~~
Last edited by Art_Critic; 10th July 2008 at 10:58 AM.
There's no good reason why someone would do that. That's probably why she hasn't been able to give you one. What a crappy thing to do.
Someone above asked whether that guy knows she has a boyfriend of a year. I wonder that too. Who would continually pester someone for her number if she's already got a long-term boyfriend?
Don't let this one blow over; she's being dishonest.
__________________
Anything you've ever said is brilliant
Anything you wanna do is fine by me
This is much better than love, babe...
Many would chime in and say, ' people make mistakes. '
However, in this case, while it's so early... Take our advice and ditch the b*tch. Keep in mind that one or two things will happen if you do break up with her..
1) She'll accept it and move on from you...
In this case, good riddance.
2) She'll understand her mistake and realize that you are not to be walked all over or played the fool. She will most likely not ever do anything of this magnitude to jeopardize the relationship. She'll ask for a second chance and if you really do like this girl and see a prominent future, then try again from scratch.
Everyone else has given you great advice. Follow it.
I wonder if she is unable to say no or to confront people in general. Maybe she felt uncomfortable and thought she should just give the guy her phone number instead of saying No to him.
It really doesn't matter, though! You wouldn't want a spineless girlfriend who can't say because she's afraid of hurting another guy's feelings....what else would she do?
I once had a boyfriend who didn't tell an ex girlfriend that continued to call him that we were dating (six months, too!). He didn't want to hurt HER feelings.
Later, a year into the relationship, she was still texting him and calling him, asking him to do things like he was still available. He told me he said he a girlfriend, but didn't tell her right away, more like six months in the relationship. Yeah, right.
It sucked. No trust. Lose her. She is a cheater type and the other guy knows she's vulnerable and won't say no.
When i was younger (early 20's to mid 20's) I had a severe problem with saying no to someone when they pushed me. There were lines I wouldn't cross... but a phone number, I would've felt that I could still control the situation so I would've relented just to get him out of my face. Add in to the fact that I couldn't think on my feet, which means I wouldn't have thought to give him a fake number. I'd just think if I didn't answer my phone that he'd go away.
The advice on here is really good. But also weigh that against your understanding of who your gf is. You've known her a year, you should know whether she folds under pressure easily, or if she normally doesn't have a problem with telling pushier people to back off. You should have a fairly good idea on how well she lies, or manipulates facts to get her way. Think back on her past behaviors in situations where she wanted something and couldn't get it, and how she handled it. Did she lie to get what she wanted? Does she have a problem telling people no? That might help you frame the situation better based on who your gf is as a person.
I'd explain to her that the trust was damaged and ask her to be aware of the fact that she's going to need to prove to you that she isn't talking to this guy.
Otherwise, you have to break up with her. Don't know if that's something you're willing to do or not. But find a resolution to this situation instead of letting it fester and create resentment. i.e. ask her to be an open book until your doubts are eased, or explain you aren't willing to continue a relationship with her any more.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
My GF gave her number to a guy at a club...
Linear Mode
