I did what I thought I would never do, and thats become what I hate most....
I slept with a married woman a few days ago and got caught by the husband. Apparently they were not seperated like she had told me. He (husband) sent me a bunch of text messages to my phone thanking me for ruining his life. Somehow He got a hold of all the conversations we had on the internet, and also found condoms on her aswel.
In my defense I had thought they were seperated, she even told me she was helping him meet other girls.....stupid I know.
But I know its all my fault, I should of waited till they got divorced, But didn't, I fought her for a while, but in the end I got seduced and wasn't thinking straight one night.
So now I am ignoring her because I feel deceived and lied too, and am also looking at the pics of there kids and feeling like the worlds biggest piece of sh*t.
I never wanted to be that other guy, I am not really sure how I even got here either. It just sort of happened, Damm my endless bad luck. All I wanted was a great gal, but I never wanted it at this price. I never wanted to hurt this guy. Now I am wondering if he's even as bad as she said he was. Damm
I never felt as low as I do now. All I can think about is ending it, because I am not sure how to live with this shame.
And to make matters worse , he said he is going to sue me for emotional damages or whatever, I am not even sure if he can do that?, But he is making me wonder I'll say that, So should I empty out my bank accounts?'
regards
~RS77
And on a side note, if you anyone wants to flame and tell me I am an a**hole , I'll save you the trouble and say I already know
Last edited by Rainswept77; 8th July 2008 at 12:48 AM.
Don't beat yourself up - she chose to tell you that she was separated where in actual fact, she is still married to him.
In certain states in US, it is possible for a betrayed spouse to sue but I can't get into that cause I don't live in the US. I'm sure someone else on here will be able to help you out on that matter.
__________________
Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it - Morrie Schwartz
I believe it is called Alienation of Affection. You can google your state to see if they have that very old law.
You believed her. We have all been there. Don't blame yourself. You can always text him back and tell him what she told you, that it was over, etc. She created this and you fell into it. If you feel that bad, don't get any further involved until you know she is divorced. But at this point, do you want a liar?
I did what I thought I would never do, and thats become what I hate most....
I slept with a married woman a few days ago and got caught by the husband. Apparently they were not seperated like she had told me. He (husband) sent me a bunch of text messages to my phone thanking me for ruining his life. Somehow He got a hold of all the conversations we had on the internet, and also found condoms on her aswel.
In my defense I had thought they were seperated, she even told me she was helping him meet other girls.....stupid I know.
But I know its all my fault, I should of waited till they got divorced, But didn't, I fought her for a while, but in the end I got seduced and wasn't thinking straight one night.
So now I am ignoring her because I feel deceived and lied too, and am also looking at the pics of there kids and feeling like the worlds biggest piece of sh*t.
I never wanted to be that other guy, I am not really sure how I even got here either. It just sort of happened, Damm my endless bad luck. All I wanted was a great gal, but I never wanted it at this price. I never wanted to hurt this guy. Now I am wondering if he's even as bad as she said he was. Damm
I never felt as low as I do now. All I can think about is ending it, because I am not sure how to live with this shame.
And to make matters worse , he said he is going to sue me for emotional damages or whatever, I am not even sure if he can do that?, But he is making me wonder I'll say that, So should I empty out my bank accounts?'
regards
~RS77
And on a side note, if you anyone wants to flame and tell me I am an a**hole , I'll save you the trouble and say I already know
I doubt very much you are the only one she has spun the same story to, so I wouldn't worry overmuch about the whole suing for emotional damages stuff
You are not copable for alienation of affection. He wouldn't be able to exact damages from you. She lied and you were led into the relationship under false pretenses. No court would award him anything and if they (by some sick twist of fate) did, she would be just as guilty and since they are married, it would be his own money he received. The suing thing will never play out.
As for your feelings ... calm down, bud. You didn't go out with the intention of hurting anyone, you thought he had already moved on, you tried to control yourself. As far as you knew, you were with someone who was all but free to look around. She's the one that lied to both of you and caused all the bad.
Learn from it and stay away from married women. You are too sensitive to how people feel to be in a situation that could end up this way. That's understandable. Find someone free to be with you and who you can trust.
Sorry for what you are going through, but I think you are innocent in this. I hope things get better.
One piece of advice, never have sex unless you see the divorce papers. You were lied to. Don't hold that responsibility, it is her's. Now learn from this mess and be more careful the next time. You were blessed, you could have ended up with a lot more than texts to deal with, like not bullet someowhere.
__________________
Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death.
One piece of advice, never have sex unless you see the divorce papers. You were lied to. Don't hold that responsibility, it is her's. Now learn from this mess and be more careful the next time. You were blessed, you could have ended up with a lot more than texts to deal with, like not bullet someowhere.
yep, like BNB said, could have been a hundred times worse......just suck it up and move on with your life, and be a tad more careful next time.
I did what I thought I would never do, and thats become what I hate most....
I slept with a married woman a few days ago and got caught by the husband. Apparently they were not seperated like she had told me. He (husband) sent me a bunch of text messages to my phone thanking me for ruining his life. Somehow He got a hold of all the conversations we had on the internet, and also found condoms on her aswel.
In my defense I had thought they were seperated, she even told me she was helping him meet other girls.....stupid I know.
But I know its all my fault, I should of waited till they got divorced, But didn't, I fought her for a while, but in the end I got seduced and wasn't thinking straight one night.
So now I am ignoring her because I feel deceived and lied too, and am also looking at the pics of there kids and feeling like the worlds biggest piece of sh*t.
I never wanted to be that other guy, I am not really sure how I even got here either. It just sort of happened, Damm my endless bad luck. All I wanted was a great gal, but I never wanted it at this price. I never wanted to hurt this guy. Now I am wondering if he's even as bad as she said he was. Damm
I never felt as low as I do now. All I can think about is ending it, because I am not sure how to live with this shame.
And to make matters worse , he said he is going to sue me for emotional damages or whatever, I am not even sure if he can do that?, But he is making me wonder I'll say that, So should I empty out my bank accounts?'
regards
~RS77
And on a side note, if you anyone wants to flame and tell me I am an a**hole , I'll save you the trouble and say I already know
You've realized you made a bad decision and you were lied to and led on. So now you can walk away from her and realize next time that it's probably not the best idea to get yourself involved with someone who is not LEGALLY or otherwise available. Spare yourself the heartache. I think you are doing the right thing by ignoring her. Just keep your chin up and go on your merry way with your lesson learned. Don't beat yourself up too much-- you now have knowledge to make better choices in the future and you started to do the right thing as soon as you learned more information.
__________________
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"The unexamined life is not worth living."
~Socrates
it is very hard for some one to sue you for sleeping with there partner....unless you were have an affair for many years...the only reason i know this is because my father was sleeping w/his secertery for 9 years. she sued her for emotional distress to herself and to me, and won. but if he had only slept with her once she wouldnt have won...so dont start emptying you bank accounts yet. and on to the cheating thing you had absoultely no lue she wasnt seperated from her husband which makes her a worthless POS...
Rain, you said that you got caught by the husband, did he catch you 2 in the "ACT" of her riding you? Like others have said, she's likely been doing this before..........
__________________ -You don't know the Power of the Dark side! - I find your lack of faith disturbing! -The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force! - Darth Vader
Rain, you said that you got caught by the husband, did he catch you 2 in the "ACT" of her riding you? Like others have said, she's likely been doing this before..........
DV, you're obsessed honey - have you thought of buying a horse?
If you are truly innocent. You did not know about her marital status until after the situation. Then you don't have to worry. If you have emails and stuff to show that she lied all along, you will be vindicated. But, you don't have to move your money. A judge is not going to run you into the dirt. But, now if you are guilty... I suggest you settle. Humble apologize for your actions, pay restitution and then stay the heck away from them and other married women.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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