She is with someone else.. I found out. I think she met him before we broke up.
I don't know how to deal with this. I really didn't think it was possible, but I have evidence now. I'm in shock. I don't know how I will ever recover.. Ten years, I gave her unconditional love. How could she do this to me? I'm going to be seriously damaged goods now. I don't know how I will function tomorrow, I have have to call in sick.
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"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering. If there is a purpose in life at all, there must be a purpose in suffering and in dying. But no man can tell another what this purpose is. Each must find out for himself, and must accept the responsibility that his answer prescribes." - Viktor Frankl
She is with someone else.. I found out. I think she met him before we broke up.
I don't know how to deal with this. I really didn't think it was possible, but I have evidence now. I'm in shock. I don't know how I will ever recover.. Ten years, I gave her unconditional love. How could she do this to me? I'm going to be seriously damaged goods now. I don't know how I will function tomorrow, I have have to call in sick.
Deep breaths man.
Do you have any friends you can call or go hang out with tomorrow?
She's with someone else b/c she doesn't know who she is without the attention of a man. She's with someone b/c it was easy for her to meet someone b/c she is pretty and all that.
Her being with someone else does not need to devastate you in the way you feel now. If she's with someone else already, you can guarantee that she hasn't taken the time to reflect on her R with you. She is jumping into something else irresponsibly.
With the kind of girl you had, it's easy for her to get with someone else. Quickly. What that says about her is that she's superficial and needy. You should be glad you're not with someone like that.
She's free to do what she wants. You needn't worry yourself with this info. It's not a betrayal to you; it's a betrayal to herself b/c she hasn't learned to be by herself. She's basically a grown child, dependent on the approval and caretaking of others.
And she probably never will learn how to be happy alone.
Rep, don't worry about other people right now. Including her. So she's with someone else? Great. They can go f*ck off. Do what you need to for you - relax, enjoy your freedom, see friends. Stop thinking about her, and don't make this into a dramatic thing in which you "don't know how you can go on."
Thanks guys.. I've been crying for about a good hour. I don't know. I just trusted her so much. Imagining her with another man is devastating, and my heart is pounding. I don't know how I'm going to look back at my twenties, when it was all spent with her, that lying cheating b*tch.
I don't know what I should be doing. What I can do. I'm just in pain.
I'm so sorry man. The same thing happened to me, I know how you are feeling. You have to fight through this, it will feel like you are dying, but you HAVE TO FIGHT!!! Do not contact her, let it go man. I feel so bad knowing you are feeling what I felt 4 months ago, I thought I would never feel good again. I was wrong though, I do feel good now. Keep your mind off of her, I know it seems impossible tonight, but do your best. In my opinion, you need your friends and family more now then ever. Talk to them, get it all out and then start to accept it because there is nothing else you can do. I really do feel for you, take care of yourself.
I just saw my ex with the new guy and it hurts. I wanted to confront them and beat them both. But I didn't. She is a freakin whore now and he is a freaking idiot. But hey, they're both getting laid now. Screw them!!! I hate her and I can't believe I gave her as much as I did without really seeing who she was. I hate her for her, and I hate what she is doing with someone else. Fuc*ing bitch!!! Whore!!! Why do we care so much about people that have hurt us so much over years and years?
I am so hurt and disappointed. Fu*king bitch, whore, slut!!!
Once again Rep, I think you need someone to tell you So What. Of course I feel for you, like Fox, but feeling pain is a choice of how long we choose to remain in the pain state.
So What that she and some guy who doesn't have half the heart you do are together. So What that she's with someone when she's so obviously not ready. So What that you're without a partner while she has one already; you're going to benefit in the end, b/c you've taken the time to reflect.
So What. People are not under our control. You do not need to let this affect you as much as you are. I would be a bold-faced liar if I told you that I'd be 100% if I found out my ex was dating again. But when I do find this out, I will shrug. Because I know that I offered her more than he ever could. And she will end up hurting him in the same ways she hurt me.
So, So What. Let go. It's not your problem and that is no longer your life. I always hesitate to say these things for fear of sounding insensitive, but the fact is that crying and dwelling over things long dead and done does no one any good, ever.
He is just the type I knew would make her parents happy.
All the things I couldn't do for her. Why did I let her do this to me. I don't know. I know you're saying rational things Kizik.. But there is no voice of reason in my head, I just feel so betrayed. I can hate her now.. Finally.
He is just the type I knew would make her parents happy.
Don't worry, my ex will end up with the lawyer or doctor just like I thought. And her parents will all be ecstatic. And then they can all go out to dinner to that yuppie restaurant that I used to hate. And he can hang out in that house with that stupid Beagle. Beagles are the dumbest f*cking dogs, and this one would lick the leather couch, and they would let him. Why are you letting your dog lick the couch? Are you retarded? God, I hate that dog.
I've had that happen to me so many times. Holy smokes.
My first girlfriend had some guy lined up before we even broke up. That really got to me. She dated him for a long time. Now, coincidentally, she's married to a guy who works where I do, and guess what I get to see on his desk? Wedding pictures and baby pictures. I don't pine for her, but do I really need to see that??
My second girlfriend was married within a year after we broke up. I was so crushed.
I heard of another one getting married, and the jealousy welled up again. But I thought whatever guy married her suffered all the way to the altar and all the way back.
My most recent ex just spent the whole holiday weekend with some other guy, and you know what I have to tell you? After you've gone through it a few times, it gets a LOT easier. No girl is irreplaceable.
He is just the type I knew would make her parents happy.
All the things I couldn't do for her. Why did I let her do this to me. I don't know. I know you're saying rational things Kizik.. But there is no voice of reason in my head, I just feel so betrayed. I can hate her now.. Finally.
Well, first of all... it doesn't matter how much rational advice you get with regard to a situation like this- I am sure you have told yourself all these rational, truthful things... but that doesn't negate the pain you feel over this.
Feelings aren't always going to be rational. You can't choose how you feel, you can only choose how you react to those feelings.
I don't advise staying home from work- I think it's pretty important to keep up with your routine in a time like this. What will you do if you stay home.... Lament?? Get a distraction going- work can provide that.
All I can offer you is my own experience... when I found out my ex husband knocked up another woman after 9 years of being together... I never thought my life would be the same again... I never thought I would get over that pain. I did. You will too. It's been 6 years for me- and there will come a time when this pain doesn't permeate every facet of your life.
I don't think it's a good idea to isolate yourself and cave alone with your misery... stick to a routine- both with work and hobbies... it's important.
Control the things you can control for now, it will keep your sanity about you.
I don't think it's a good idea to isolate yourself and cave alone with your misery... stick to a routine- both with work and hobbies... it's important.
Control the things you can control for now, it will keep your sanity about you.
D-Lish has it exactly right. Don't isolate yourself and wallow in your pain. If you're like me, however, that's exactly what you'll do. For my part it was as much because I didn't feel like being around people as it was that they didn't really want to be around me. I can't blame them for that.
But still, if you can find things to do with other people, DO THEM.
you must have found this info out somehow. I strongly advise you to tell whoever informed you about this: "Keep me in the dark. I don't want to know. Don't mention her to me again."
One of the reasons I'm not gonna go through this 'new guy' thing for a long time is that I will avoid info about her like the f*cking plague.
you must have found this info out somehow. I strongly advise you to tell whoever informed you about this: "Keep me in the dark. I don't want to know. Don't mention her to me again."
One of the reasons I'm not gonna go through this 'new guy' thing for a long time is that I will avoid info about her like the f*cking plague.
Very true.
You have to erase all points of info/contact about the ex. Myspace, facebook, yahoo contacts etc.
Tell any mutual friends you don't want to hear anything about her.
You need to basically take a virtual eraser and wipe her out of your existence
I know I don't want to know when/if my ex is with someone else, regardless if it's just a 'rebound' or not.
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