A married coworker of mine has done a few things and I am curious if they would be considered cheating.
1. Shown me her panties (just the very top quickly and briefly)
2. Talks in flirty sexual inneundos
3. Tells me what color panties/bra she has on occassionally (usually in a joking manner)
4. Talks about her sex life (but not in very much detail)
I have been married for 6 years and I know this stuff is not right. I would never want my wife to know about it. People always say if you would not want your significant other seeing or doing what your doing it is wrong. I get that. But I am just curious if it would be considered cheating or even having an affair. This woman loves to flirt. Some people I think are just flirts by nature. If it was not with me it would probably would be with someone else. I have no intentions of cheating but do have to admit being flirted with like this makes me feel good. That is why I am curious if two people just flirting with each other like this and leaving it there is a bad thing. Is it considered cheating on your spouse? Very perplexing?
Her behavior seems pretty inapproperiate. Maybe you should call her out on it, tell her you don't think what she is doing is right. Unless of course you're not bothered by it.
However you want to label her behavior, she certainly has no respect for her husband or her marriage. She is probably fun to be around as long as you are not the husband, but you probably wouldn't want to end up in a serious relationship with a woman like that.
Last edited by angie2443; 5th July 2008 at 7:20 PM.
Reason: add on
1. Shown me her panties (just the very top quickly and briefly)
2. Talks in flirty sexual inneundos
3. Tells me what color panties/bra she has on occassionally (usually in a joking manner)
4. Talks about her sex life (but not in very much detail)
If I did this with other men, it wouldn't mean I'm trying to achieve anything by this. Thus, I wouldn't call it cheating.
Showing underwear or talking about its color is really a question of how open you are. I wouldn't see this that close-minded. If it's meant as a joke, I just see it as a sign of being relaxed and liberated.
Talking about your sex life very much depends how you express this. If she complains, then it gets dangerous, because it can be interpreted as a wish to get whatever she doesn't get in her marriage from somewhere else. If she talks about a fulfilled sex life, then... why not?
The flirting is the hardest part. It's tough for someone who isn't involved in the situation to assess how serious it is. Talking in sexual innuendos can be something that very open people do... however, I haven't heard this much from married people.
The real question here is of course how you feel about this. If you flirt much with her it might be playing with fire for you. A woman can flirt with a guy just to get the attention, and make sure that she's still attractive. A man will probably have an ultimate goal in his mind. So think more about what you are expecting out of the flirting, it might be even unconscious...
If I behaved like that at work, I'd get laughed out of the office! That said, it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks whether it's cheating or not. It's what your W thinks that matters. If she thinks it's cheating, then it's cheating.
Sorry man, but when you married her that's what you signed up for - somebody else calling the shots on how you behave and conduct your life. No more fun of any kind! except with her. And if you can't have fun with her, then you're doomed.
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Showing underwear or talking about its color is really a question of how open you are. I wouldn't see this that close-minded. If it's meant as a joke, I just see it as a sign of being relaxed and liberated.
When a woman talks about her panties and bras with other men, it is sexual. No way around it. She is bringing attention to the articles of clothing that are touching her breast and genitals. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but it is the truth. The woman knows this, and the men know it as well.
When a woman talks about her panties and bras with other men, it is sexual. No way around it. She is bringing attention to the articles of clothing that are touching her breast and genitals. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but it is the truth. The woman knows this, and the men know it as well.
Sure, but it doesn't mean they want to go to bed with them.
I should add that I once pulled a string of my kaki thong... I end up in bed with the guy (at work)... just saying..
It is 'heavy' flirting.. very heavy..
It sure is a good start! I would never have conversations about my under clothes to my female friends, or my dad, mom, or anyone else who I was not sexually interested in.
It sure is a good start! I would never have conversations about my under clothes to my female friends, or my dad, mom, or anyone else who I was not sexually interested in.
Oh in that perspective.. of course I do have conversations about my undies to my female friends.. or even guy friends.. without being sexually interested... it's all about the 'relationship' with the other person...
with a guy that is not that close to me (friend or work colleague) then I would consider it 'heavy flirting'... but I have to say that I'm quite open about my sexuality.. so nothing really 'stop' me..
I do have conversations with work colleagues (male) about sexuality and funny stuff.. we are dumb azzes sometimes at work.. and I'm not at all interested in them..
I guess we each have our own 'limits' as to what is sexual or not.
Oh in that perspective.. of course I do have conversations about my undies to my female friends.. or even guy friends.. without being sexually interested... it's all about the 'relationship' with the other person...
with a guy that is not that close to me (friend or work colleague) then I would consider it 'heavy flirting'... but I have to say that I'm quite open about my sexuality.. so nothing really 'stop' me..
I do have conversations with work colleagues (male) about sexuality and funny stuff.. we are dumb azzes sometimes at work.. and I'm not at all interested in them..
I guess we each have our own 'limits' as to what is sexual or not.
Exactly. As far as I'm concerned, all this is fine as long as you make it clear in some way that there's no actual interest to cheat.
Oh in that perspective.. of course I do have conversations about my undies to my female friends.. or even guy friends.. without being sexually interested... it's all about the 'relationship' with the other person...
with a guy that is not that close to me (friend or work colleague) then I would consider it 'heavy flirting'... but I have to say that I'm quite open about my sexuality.. so nothing really 'stop' me..
I do have conversations with work colleagues (male) about sexuality and funny stuff.. we are dumb azzes sometimes at work.. and I'm not at all interested in them..
I guess we each have our own 'limits' as to what is sexual or not.
Yes, but you have sex with a lot of married men. I'm thinking that most people would be bothered if their partner was discussing their under wear and their sex life with potential sex partners.
When a woman talks about her panties and bras with other men, it is sexual. No way around it. She is bringing attention to the articles of clothing that are touching her breast and genitals. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but it is the truth. The woman knows this, and the men know it as well.
That is a very good point you made. It is so simple I cannot believe I did not even think of it from that point of view. I agree that someone is not going to talk about such "personal" subjects unless they have some intent behind it. Even if you are joking around or even just looking for attention (playing thet tease role) I dont think you would do this kind of stuff with someone you have no interest in.
A married coworker of mine has done a few things and I am curious if they would be considered cheating.
1. Shown me her panties (just the very top quickly and briefly) - Cheating 2. Talks in flirty sexual inneundos - Depends on you, her, and her husband. 3. Tells me what color panties/bra she has on occassionally (usually in a joking manner) - Cheating 4. Talks about her sex life (but not in very much detail) - Depends on you, her, and her husband.
I have been married for 6 years and I know this stuff is not right. I would never want my wife to know about it. People always say if you would not want your significant other seeing or doing what your doing it is wrong. I get that. But I am just curious if it would be considered cheating or even having an affair. This woman loves to flirt. Some people I think are just flirts by nature. If it was not with me it would probably would be with someone else. I have no intentions of cheating but do have to admit being flirted with like this makes me feel good. That is why I am curious if two people just flirting with each other like this and leaving it there is a bad thing. Is it considered cheating on your spouse? Very perplexing?
Six years married? Can I please throw a "DUH! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU THINKING!" grenade at him? Better yet, how about you ask your wife these same questions? Oh. Wait. You probably like it and wonder just how far you should push the envelope! Apparently you don't feel any shame or concern about it. You have no intention of cheating... Again, if you think it is all in good fun, let your wife read this post. Why is this perplexing? If you already stated that some spouses might see this is wrong, and you KNOW YOUR WIFE WOULD NOT PUT UP WITH IT... Why is it perplexing? I mean everything you wrote is quiet obvious, you ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE IN THIS SITUATION. So, why keep yourself in it. My friend you are emotionally cheating on your wife and you are so wrong! And you know it. You are as much as a bad guy in this situation as the woman you are talking about.
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