well it was my bday today and as i expected , no card, no email, no txt, no phone call, nothing.
i may as well never existed to her.
it hurts so much. i dont know what i did to deserve being treated like that
she was the one that left me and dated someone right away.
im really angry and pissed off tbh. i feel like i should have said my **** to her when it was all happening and then left it at that if i could have known she wouldn't contact me again. how can your first love be so cold.
she is avoiding what she did. she didn't admit it then and she isnt admitting it now, seems like thats the way it will always be now.
Hi, I feel your pain, we all have been there. Contacting her will only hurt you more and give her power. It will boast her self esteem and lower yours. You and I both have to forget about our ex's. I have not been in contact for 3 weeks I think and it is the best way. Think about this, what could you say to her that would change anything ? All contact will do is screw you up. I don't give a s**t about her, I just don't want you to hurt yourself further. I have been there and done it. Contact is NO GOOD.
ive not seen nor heard from her since mid feb. V day in fact.
i assume she isnt with him no more which is what she told my mate. And why the F did she go and speak to a close mate of mine and tell him she had lost my number (bull****) then give her number to him and then never bother to contact me.
do i txt her first and forgive her, then unleash **** i have been storing up. i mean i literally spent the last 5 months waiting to hear they broke up. now they have do i just sit around and do nothing? before i know it she will be onto number 3.
it still bothers me she created her new life and couldnt give a **** about mine, or what i would have to deal with
its so hard. i cried for the first time in a while today.
it was her who originally wanted to stay in contact so why the F has she changed her mind. she just a liar.
Last edited by Peter_pan; 4th July 2008 at 9:31 PM.
ive not seen nor heard from her since mid feb. V day in fact.
i assume she isnt with him no more. and why the F did she go and speak to a close mate of mine and tell him she had lost my number (bull****) then give her number to him and then never bother to contact me.
do i txt her first and forgive her, then unleash **** i have been storing up. i mean i literally spent the last 5 months waiting to hear they broke up. now they have do i just sit around and do nothing? before i know it she will be onto number 3.
its so hard. i cried for the first time in a while today.
This is going to sound harsh man, but I think you need to hear it. You have not heard from her since Feb because she doesn't want to talk to you. If she did, she would call. Chances are it is over between you. Why would you wait 5 months for someone who doesn't want you ? It makes no sense to me. If she wanted you, she would be with you and not with another guy. I say forget her, keep your self respect, continue NC and find the girl of your dreams because it doesn't sound like this is the one. Just my opinion though.
hey peter pan! happy b'day first off! i know your hurting, at least thats how it sounds, so big hugs! if you want an honest response i'll say, break your no contact, but only if ur willing to deal with the consequences! she might not answer! (trust me, i know this one is probably the most annoying of responses!), she might answer and be vague! not much better! what you have to do is to think hard about the response u expect to get and think about the one you might actually get, and really think about wether or not you can handle it? i know this sounds harsh! i've been dealing with it myself, it was my b'day yesterday, he did send me a card (which was nice) but when i phoned him to thank him, i got one of those ring tones that means he's on a forein holidays, and i knew then he wouldnt answer! now, i know i dont have any rights for this to p*** me off, but it really does! how dare he move on with his life!? sounds selfish, but really all we can do is look after no.1!
i guess im only really saying BE CAREFUL and think of the consequences of your actions, they might not be what you want!
I broke NC several times.. I think you will NC without looking back, when you are ready to do so. Resist at all costs, but I know that there were times where I just had to do it. Nothing nobody could say would have stopped me, and I don't regret it. Just whatever you do, think it over carefully. While we assume our words will make them see something, or feel something, all too often we're just deluding ourselves.
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"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering. If there is a purpose in life at all, there must be a purpose in suffering and in dying. But no man can tell another what this purpose is. Each must find out for himself, and must accept the responsibility that his answer prescribes." - Viktor Frankl
@fox
i know its over between us dude, i feel so horrible because she played a huge part in my life and now i know it would be hard to try and get a second chance and to even be "friends", how could i after she basically left me for someone new .
and yeah its been 5 months, but you can guarantee she has been asking about me, why else strut right up to my best mate when he is working and ask if i was moving back up there, and then claim to him that she lost my number and tell him she wasn't with him anymore?! either way the door is open as i did txt her last.... it seems to me that she is to scared to speak to me as she knows what she did was harsh and i might shout at her.
@fran
i hear what you are saying, and deep down i know it would set me back and would be scary to txt her, but then in a way,what if i could get out all the things i wanted to say to make her understand or feel something? There is also fear that she wouldn't even txt me back and then i would feel like i would want to leave her a nasty txt or email, even then that wouldn't be the right thing to do as she will think, "well thats why i broke up with him etc".
thing is i never got a real reason at the time as to why she didn't want it anymore. she just said "its not what i want anymore". then i find out she is with him and she says "i would be lying to you, my feelings have changed, ive changed".
but i think this is all BS as it was him that was influencing her and all the **** going on at around the time of her "changing". stuff like having a house bought for her, turning 21, new job, new guy... it all went to her head i think
and ive never been nasty to her throughout this whole thing, the last couple of txt's i sent her where ones that just said, "how you doing" and "is there any reason as to why you would be ignoring me?" and "im leaving the country soon so would be good to see you before i go".
but no replies, because apparently she didn't want to talk about her bf to her ex. i know this because i txted her best mate who is out with my best mate, i said to her i thought i knew her and she basically left me for him straight away. she replied and said i know, i hope you do find your soul mate.
this is horrible as i keep dreaming of her. i dreamt last night that i bumped into her and she had a newer guy. so i was like "oh onto number 3 now are we", then i ended up calling her a slag and getting all upset.
and i looked at her face and it was so real
@rep
good advice also man, for me its also like a power trip, i always wanted to be right about everything, and i guess that pissed her off sometimes, but for her to not want me back left her with allll the power. and that crushes me.
i would have loved to of been this girls no1 forever, but now even being friends seems far fetched. i think i would have been able to forgive her if she hadnt gone out with him right away, and her to have a break for a few months at least. she did say she wanted to live the single life... and when i heard about them two she just said "it just happened"/
and from the last bit of information i hear she isnt with him, it seems as though breaking NC if there was a right time would be now.
everything she changed, has changed.... i knew it all wouldn't last, i was just waiting for each thing to change.
i know nothing could be the same. in the sense that she has changed, but then i have to. so even to question if it would work or not would be an interesting thought.
i miss her smile, voice, touch, smell, presence.
i cant even tell my mate i am upset she didnt contact me and hasnt for ages because he is going out with her best mate.
Last edited by Peter_pan; 5th July 2008 at 7:16 AM.
Breaking NC is going to be like sticking your hand over an open flame.... You know it is going to hurt, but you do it just to see what it will do. I can't bash on you for breaking NC, since I too have done it many times and I am on day number 5 today of NC. It is a hard thing to do this NC, but it truly is for the best.
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I once believed in you, I believed in us. You rushed to be with me and you rushed to leave me. Leaving me only with memories in between your rushes!
well it was my bday today and as i expected , no card, no email, no txt, no phone call, nothing.
i may as well never existed to her.
it hurts so much. i dont know what i did to deserve being treated like that
she was the one that left me and dated someone right away.
im really angry and pissed off tbh. i feel like i should have said my **** to her when it was all happening and then left it at that if i could have known she wouldn't contact me again. how can your first love be so cold.
she is avoiding what she did. she didn't admit it then and she isnt admitting it now, seems like thats the way it will always be now.
so angry. upset.
just dont know what to do anymore.
So she doesn't call you on your birthday, so you wanna call HER???///
Huh??// WTF??/ **** that. She didn't call you on your ****ing birthday **** THAT **** HER NEVER TALK TO HER AGAIN.
your right, theres no need for such negative comments faux, clearly this is not an easy time.
how's things? im with you on this one, i understand why you're feeling like there might be hope, and the decision is ur's. just make sure you think of how you'll handle her not responding again, if thats the case. dont get your hopes up, thats the worst thing you could do.
Rep does make a good point, the hope we all have that they will want us back, is a little deluded. like we want to protect our daily emotions, just to get through life. i admit i do it too this is the part of life thats the hardest. admitting when something you want is probably wrong for you.
like your dream, i like to think of him as a drift of to sleep, and just remember the good times, his smile. its only natural, and we're only human
theres no rules though, you just have to be willing to take the risk and learn from any mistakes, just dont get burned twice
if all you want is some comfort and reassurance from her and nothing more, then theres not too much emotional risk involved, if you want her back or want a friendship, my advice would be to tread carefully, you have to go for what YOU want in the long term, but consider how she'll react, she may not want the same things. what i mean is, protect yourself, emotionally, take the risk that you feel you can cope with. let me know how things go
@Y her not calling didnt make me want to contact her, it would have been nice to hear from her so i could then reply. and not have to be the one that tried to initiate contact again. her not contacting me on this particular day made me think even more about her. and all her actions point towards her wanting to hear from etc, and i dont get why she wouldn't.
i did live with her. moved country, left my friends family.
@fran, thanks for that it helps , i wasnt aiming anything bad at Y. he is right she can **** off. but its not that easy when i thought she was better than that.
admitting when something you want is probably wrong for you.
that line is right. it would be totally wrong but why must i long for it?
"if all you want is some comfort and reassurance from her and nothing more, then theres not too much emotional risk involved"
you mean like general chit chat.?
i suppose what my conscious is telling me/driving me to do is speak to her and ask why? and try and make her feel guilty. and then hopefully have her apologize.
thats what i really want. to know she is sorry.
IF i got the chance to b with her again would i be stupid?
i suppose what my conscious is telling me/driving me to do is speak to her and ask why? and try and make her feel guilty. and then hopefully have her apologize.
thats what i really want. to know she is sorry.
if she did say she was sorry, deep down how do you think that would make you feel? would be make the hurt go away? only you can answer, you just need to consider everything, never mind how she reacts, what about you?!
Quote:
IF i got the chance to b with her again would i be stupid?
i dont think that at all (im actually considering trying to get back with my ex 2! lol!) but like you've said, she's changed, do you think it might be better second time around? do you think you'll cope knowing she's hurt you before? if i were you, it would take me a long time to forgive, but thats just me
lots of questions, sorry dude! i just think your better considering everything before you do call her. dont worry about her feelings too much, once you know what you want for 100% sure, i say for go it!
yeah it wouldnt make the hurt go away i guess since she still did what she did, i dont feel as strong as i used to about forgiving her it kind of dosnt bother me. what i personally couldn't forgive is that she must have slept with him. i just dont think i could let that one go.
i want to beat the **** out of him really.
i figured out yesterday finally what i think!!!!
basically i miss the her that once was, before she changed.
i miss how we used to be and how special it was (being each others first etc) and of course what makes me sad is that its gone now and it cant ever come back, even if she did, things would never be what they were because of what has happened. i just wish she never did what she did. i suppose i miss the L that loved me.
my friend and i agreed that its easier to start a new RE than to go back to an old one. esp if it ended up how mine did because if she was sorry, fair enough but i'll always be mad that she got to experience other things and i didnt and its as if she can get away with it.
what do you think?
oh and i heard she deleted her bebo (hmm?) confused about that one, thought she loved that.
Last edited by Peter_pan; 6th July 2008 at 8:10 PM.
I went through this very thing last month and I certainly know what you are dealing with and the pain you are in!! Makes you feel less than human!!
I broke NC when she did not even call me last month on my birthday and she answered me the next day when I broke it just like this: I said you could have at least sent an email. She replied, " I thought it would make it worse."
Dude, think twice before you break NC or you may just hear a lame a$$ excuse Like I got.
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this is the part of life thats the hardest. admitting when something you want is probably wrong for you. 
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