I sit here thinking of all the things I learned in my six year relationship. And the only thing I can think of is trust.
I have always had a hard time trusting, becasue of some childhood issues and some other reasons, but finally i met this girl whom I entrusted EVERYTHING with and to. We were about to get married and everything was good and one day she left. Her words where of the opposite of everything she ever told me.
I sit here not hurt by it, well not anymore, but almost thankful and yet angry.
Angry at the fact that now I have come to realize that you cant trust anyone, not even those closest to you. Even if and when I meet that special someone, in the back of my mind I will always fear being left again out of nowhere. (this has also happened to me with my father, but it wasnt his fault he was sick)
I am thankful for this becasue now it makes me a better business man lol
And all I know is that my wife is going to sign a prenup, cause although she says she loves you now, one day shell leave out of no where say you did nothing and expect to have half of all your hard earned money. (although it may never happen its better to be safe than sorry)
I really relate to your feelings. I think those of us who were essentially blindsided by the breakups, were cheated on, or whose exes were spouting affection merely days before the breakup, will have a harder time trusting our next partners.
Carried to the extreme, distrust is not fair to one's next partner (they shouldn't have to pay for a prior partner's unreliability), but I think it's also healthy to realize that romantic love is pretty volatile and feelings can change quickly, or they can change more slowly without your knowledge, and it's best to keep that in mind in future relationships and act accordingly (yes, I'll be getting a pre-nup as well should i reach that point in a future R).
I sit here thinking of all the things I learned in my six year relationship. And the only thing I can think of is trust.
I have always had a hard time trusting, becasue of some childhood issues and some other reasons, but finally i met this girl whom I entrusted EVERYTHING with and to. We were about to get married and everything was good and one day she left. Her words where of the opposite of everything she ever told me.
I sit here not hurt by it, well not anymore, but almost thankful and yet angry.
Angry at the fact that now I have come to realize that you cant trust anyone, not even those closest to you. Even if and when I meet that special someone, in the back of my mind I will always fear being left again out of nowhere. (this has also happened to me with my father, but it wasnt his fault he was sick)
I am thankful for this becasue now it makes me a better business man lol
And all I know is that my wife is going to sign a prenup, cause although she says she loves you now, one day shell leave out of no where say you did nothing and expect to have half of all your hard earned money. (although it may never happen its better to be safe than sorry)
That's a terrible way to go through life not trusting anyone...I rather have my heart broken a thousand times then to lose faith in people. It's too lonely to be like that.
My ex cheated on me and it destroyed me but there's no way I will ever stop trusting people. The lesson I learnt is give your trust to people who deserve it...and walk away from a bad situation.
you cant trust anyone, not even those closest to you.
Serendip is right, that's no way to go through life. Don't worry, hopefully your cynicism will only be temporary. You feel guarded now, but once you meet someone awesome again, you will need to let that guard down.
Or, you can distrust everyone and live a bitter and miserable, solitary life forever.
I feel the same way about not trusting someone. If love is so volatile and you cant predict what or how someone else feels whats the point in trusting and giving your all to them. I guess that is just my bitterness talking. But I too am going through a break up of 6 years, and I look back and realize I was stupid. I will definitely get a pre-nup when I get married. I think my ex girl just wanted my money and used me in the end for my money. Its sad, but the next relationship I will be more careful.
[quote=Whey2Big4u;1731241
And all I know is that my wife is going to sign a prenup, cause although she says she loves you now, one day shell leave out of no where say you did nothing and expect to have half of all your hard earned money. (although it may never happen its better to be safe than sorry)[/quote]
Just like you, only married. Sorry, STBD.
there won't be a next time, becauase like you, and a few others in here, trust is only a 5 letter word.
Done.
P.S. - Serendip, my life may be lonely, but, I'll be sane.
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IF WIVES WERE GOOD, GOD WOULD HAVE ONE.
------- Old Russian Proverb --------
Last edited by dead-dyke; 4th July 2008 at 11:54 PM.
I feel the same way. When I think of some of the things she said when she tried to convince me that we should part ways, I still feel sharp pain in my chest.
How does someone change like that? Someone you entrusted your heart to. Someone you were willing to go the distance for?
I don't have the answers either, but I hope that with time, we'll be able to take the chance again.
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"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering. If there is a purpose in life at all, there must be a purpose in suffering and in dying. But no man can tell another what this purpose is. Each must find out for himself, and must accept the responsibility that his answer prescribes." - Viktor Frankl
I feel the same way. When I think of some of the things she said when she tried to convince me that we should part ways, I still feel sharp pain in my chest.
How does someone change like that? Someone you entrusted your heart to. Someone you were willing to go the distance for?
I don't have the answers either, but I hope that with time, we'll be able to take the chance again.
If you want to, you will. For all the crappy breakups I've been through (4 painful ones), everyone has commented that I have always been able to love like I'd never been hurt before. In other words, I never let my fear of getting hurt prevent me from loving and trusting the next guy I got close to.
I'm going to get smarter about who I get close to next time (gotta find someone who deserves it!), but I do have faith that I will be able to love and trust again.
I myself have never trusted anyone due to childhood issues and I just couldn't trust after that. I wait and see to tell if i can trust someone like my friends that i have now...but i dont totally shut my eyes...i dont think anyone does actually.
I think in situations of love i am the most cautious but as far as my relationship track record goes I have not found anyone worthy of trusting due to how they treated me.
My last relationship I believe the guy and i thought finally...just as i began to let my guard down everything fell apart and he BROKE MY TRUST.
I don't think i will give up on people because there are some nice ones out there SOMEWHERE! I think you just have to keep going "NEVER EVER GIVE UP" I believe that you will find what you seek just keep doing good things for yourself and keep going with your life and fill it with things that you enjoy and people who care about you.
Its painful to think how people can just CHANGE their feelings so easily but it happens. Good luck
wow...i find it funny, although I know this, that I am not the only one who feels this way.
I like the concept of trust being a five letter word, when I myself use that phrase for the word FAIL (only being a four letter word lol)
yes for now i have my guard up with whomever I meet, and to some extent it has prevented me from going any further with some of the girls I meet. But unfortunately even if I do beginto trust again, there will always be some walls up.......to protect myself.
I can see now some of the walls I put up and I dont think they will ever come down, reguardless. such as....Now if anything does go wrong, I play it off as non-chalant, like I dont care. Those who know me know this isnt rue and that I do care, but if you dont know me I guess I can come off as non caring.
like I said before, and i wasnt joking, I am now a better business man, but I think for emotional ties I should leave the non trust for business only......only with time
Trust needs to be earned.. Yet, even if you think you can trust someone with your life, you'll be proven wrong..
Just watch out for #1... And that is you and nobody else. This is the cold, but honest truth. Nobody will care for you like yourself. Do what is best for you, and screw everyone else. That is just how the world works. People are selfish.
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