Can a girl's close relationship with father affect her dating?
I have been seeing a 28-year old woman (I'm 34) for a few months and I really care for her. She says I have all of the qualities she looks for in a guy but something is blocking her, but she doesn't know what. She has had previous trouble maintaining relationships for more than a short time.
Also, she almost always avoids physical intimacy with me despite her obvious attraction for me (laughter, flirting, touching, etc).
She is very close to her father, they talk every day, and she says she completely adores her father. She constantly relies on him for advice and support. I have never met the father as he lives far away.
My theory is that she doesn't want or is afraid of developing a close relationship with another man because it will have to replace or reduce her closeness with her father. That is why she doesn't maintain relationships for long and why she avoids physical intimacy (to prevent a stronger emotional bond from forming with a guy).
The ironic thing is that I think I remind her of her father from some of the comments she makes about me (I'm calm, patient, I listen to her, offer her thoughtful advice when she asks, etc).
Does anybody have any opinion? I care about her but I am frustrated and about to give up.
I think that people are "very close" to their parents because they cannot trust strangers from one reason or another. Oftentimes this is cause by a total lack of self esteem.
Feelings aren't rational but personally I wouldn't trust someone who cannot trust me.
Im very close with both of my folks, and a TOTAL Daddy's girl. I talk to them every day, and am always asking advice and discussing things with my Dad.
That doesnt stop me from having relationships or having sex, though.
Her issues have nothing to do with her Dad. They are her own problems...
__________________ "I'm looking California and feeling Minnesota..."
Im very close with both of my folks, and a TOTAL Daddy's girl. I talk to them every day, and am always asking advice and discussing things with my Dad.
That doesnt stop me from having relationships or having sex, though.
Her issues have nothing to do with her Dad. They are her own problems...
Maybe her issues do have something to do with her Dad... Everyone's different. I think he'll never know until he asks her.
Rasaka, you need to ask her everything you just told us (In a discreet and amicable way). If you can't be that open with her then she's not the one for you.
I have been seeing a 28-year old woman (I'm 34) for a few months and I really care for her. She says I have all of the qualities she looks for in a guy but something is blocking her, but she doesn't know what. She has had previous trouble maintaining relationships for more than a short time.
Also, she almost always avoids physical intimacy with me despite her obvious attraction for me (laughter, flirting, touching, etc).
She is very close to her father, they talk every day, and she says she completely adores her father. She constantly relies on him for advice and support. I have never met the father as he lives far away.
My theory is that she doesn't want or is afraid of developing a close relationship with another man because it will have to replace or reduce her closeness with her father. That is why she doesn't maintain relationships for long and why she avoids physical intimacy (to prevent a stronger emotional bond from forming with a guy).
The ironic thing is that I think I remind her of her father from some of the comments she makes about me (I'm calm, patient, I listen to her, offer her thoughtful advice when she asks, etc).
Does anybody have any opinion? I care about her but I am frustrated and about to give up.
I think it odd when someone is that close to their parents that they're in touch daily. It's like they've never cut the apron strings. Keep your eyes open.
Beyond the daily contact issue, if she reveres her father, perhaps she's looking for an identical dynamic and doesn't realize it. If this is the case, no man can meet her bar.
I think it odd when someone is that close to their parents that they're in touch daily. It's like they've never cut the apron strings. Keep your eyes open.
The ironic thing is that I think I remind her of her father from some of the comments she makes about me (I'm calm, patient, I listen to her, offer her thoughtful advice when she asks, etc).
How do you think you are going to excite her, stimulate her and e attract her sexually when you act/remind her of dear ole' Dad.
You need to be the OPPOSITE . She has one Daddy already. Why would she want more of what she already has an abundance of ?
Daddy is calm and patient - so you be exciteable and impatient - let that side of you run free.
Daddy is her rock - you need to be the guy who gets her HOT, and you are not doing that, I know because your post says that she LIKES you enough to hangout with you but she is not 'feeling it' for you.
Women want a rollercoaster of emotions (They will say different but ignore that )
Be Mr Excitement. not Mr Stability .
I have a similar situation going on, and I know exactly what you mean.
The girl I am seeing is Daddy's princess. She is an only child, and often times I find it to be quite strange. They vacation together, go out on weekends to dinner, he supports her, etc.
When he found out I was dating her, all of a sudden he almost became possessive. He always had something to fix at her home at 7am to make sure she wasn't spending the night with me.
In my opinion, even though she is 32, it seems as if her Dad wants to make sure she is always single. He is old, lonely, and doesn't have anyone else.
The girl also points out similar mannerisms I have with her father.
I really don't know what to make of it. She also had a similar pattern of short relationships. I personally think it is abnormal to have your parent so much in your life at an advanced age.
Hey Bones, sorry to hear you are in the same situation, as it is frustrating I know. My girl is also an only child and the father is divorced and single without much else going on to distract him from his daughter.
Does she have problems with physical intimacy? Mine usually says she is not interested in being touched, which I find so strange for a woman her age in a relationship. I try to be patient and understanding but at some point it becomes unreasonable.
How interested is she in a relationship with you? Mine loves to hang out for hours and share some laughs but can't be bothered with anything more serious.
Her past relationships have usually been with younger, submissive guys that don't have any long-term potential (i.e. not a threat to the father's dominance).
I should probably just move on but this girl has real potential if she can open up and distance herself from her father a bit.
Well there is nothing wrong in the sex department, and she wants a serious relationship, although she seems insecure, as if I am always going to leave her and find someone else.
The problem I have with her is that her father has ALWAYS given her everything, which seems to make her spoiled. Sometimes that is hard to compete with. I mean he got her a maid, an expensive home, a new car, and she never had to work. She went to law school, but never pursued a career. So, I feel in a way her father ruined her life by trying to help so much. It is hard for any man to live up to that, and she has no reason to ever work for anything.
Secondly, it is obvious that he is very jealous, and when I met him it was very brief. Like I am stealing his best friend.
Thirdly, through his money he controls her life. She has to do what he says, and at this point since she never worked, it is hard to start. Her perceptions are much different from the average person.
She wants to break away, but also feels bad for him. Sometimes he is mean and verbally abusive to her, and this also affects her greatly.
I wouldn't read into her habits too much and try to be a psychologist. Just be patient and perhaps she will open up more. Tell her you find it strange and see what she says.
I like to be the man in a woman's life, and not have her father control the relationship, or her life. So at times it is difficult.
Hey Bones, sorry to hear you are in the same situation, as it is frustrating I know. My girl is also an only child and the father is divorced and single without much else going on to distract him from his daughter.
Does she have problems with physical intimacy? Mine usually says she is not interested in being touched, which I find so strange for a woman her age in a relationship. I try to be patient and understanding but at some point it becomes unreasonable.
How interested is she in a relationship with you? Mine loves to hang out for hours and share some laughs but can't be bothered with anything more serious.
Her past relationships have usually been with younger, submissive guys that don't have any long-term potential (i.e. not a threat to the father's dominance).
I should probably just move on but this girl has real potential if she can open up and distance herself from her father a bit.
The more I read the more I think that she only loves you as a 'friend'... she is just NOT that into you.. simple. You are friendship material not 'lover' material in her eyes... IMO
Thirdly, through his money he controls her life. She has to do what he says, and at this point since she never worked, it is hard to start. Her perceptions are much different from the average person.
She wants to break away, but also feels bad for him. Sometimes he is mean and verbally abusive to her, and this also affects her greatly.
My dad was very controlling. I was definitely a daddy's girl but I cut the chord, finally, after 36 years. He was also highly verbally abusive to maintain control.
I don't think that being a daddy's girl is necessarily unhealthy. It depends on the nature of the relationship and how coddled the girl is. I don't think rakasa's girl's not wanting to be touched is even related. I just don't think she's that interested.
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