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Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

Old 4th July 2008, 10:19 AM   #1
sevensisters
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What do I do

I do I get my wife to allow me to have anal sex with her. We have been together for over 20 years and my desire is getting stronger and stronger but she won't entertain it. I do not want to go elewhere but I would like to try it at least once.
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Old 4th July 2008, 10:32 AM   #2
GreenX
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I wouldn't pressure your wife into doing it. And do not threaten her that "you'll go elsewhere". That's just bs. Sometimes we don't always get what we want. We manage. That's how life is.
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Old 4th July 2008, 11:52 AM   #3
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I agree we can't always get what we want. There are some men out there who have never got a blowjob from their partner who will outright refuse, now taking how important BJs are to the average male you know that's got to suck but he still loves her I mean you have to it is just a blowjob.

Now you MAY have to just accept the fact your wife doesn't want anything in her ass ever and seriously can you blame her lol woudl you be willing to have something in yours?

There are a few things you can try and it depends how you have been during sex/love making. Are you rather selfless or selfish? Also I don't know your wife she just might think it's Gay, I know a few women who will scream that if he wants it in her butt they are convinved he is a closet homosexual. Of course any straight man would disagree... we just like sticking it in tight holes, the bum is so taboo and well gay men just don't have a lot of choices on where to "stick it" heh.

What are you doing to make her happy in bed, I don't mean a half assed licking on her clit for maybe 2 mins before you get pumping I mean are you getting DOWN there, are you making her feel like a hundred dollars your foreplay style should be top notch, sensual kisses touches or if she just wants to be treated like a wh*** make sure your doing that well too.

Have you ever made your wife have an orgasm and for real multiple times if you can achieve this believe me she'd try anything atleast once. All I'm saying is do some things alot of things she wants. give a little get a litte.

Keep in mind Anal sex doesn't happen like that, you don't just have your normal intercourse and then say hey babe can I stick it in your butt, she might not be as clean as she'd like, it's something that needs to be somewhat prepared for have a sensual shower together and omg have some lube.

If she ever agrees being rough haha don't even think about it unless you want to tear her rectum and infect her it's got to me slow she need sto be relaxed and realise exactly where your d*** is, you can go bareback or use a condom that's up to both of you but realise this is where **** comes out it just might show up during the poking especially if you didn't plan well and you need to not be disgusted if anything accidental happens afterall she's letting you in her tightest hole *umm*


Good luck on your quest but if you fail don't push it you don't want to lose a woman for something as petty as this much as enjoying and satisfying it is .. ok I need to go see my wife now!
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Old 5th July 2008, 6:50 AM   #4
GPFan
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Why is this one particular act so important to you? If you can answer that to her satisfaction, she may try it but I wouldn't count on it.

There are very realistic dolls you could try as an alternative. Google "Realdoll" to determine if this might be an option for you.
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Old 11th July 2008, 10:48 PM   #5
whichwayisup
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Does this have anything to do with your recent experience during your massage? Is it possible that you're bi-curious?
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Old 11th July 2008, 10:58 PM   #6
NoIDidn't
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Ask her. And if she refuses wait for a couple of days and ask again.

I wonder how many men really want to try anal that haven't. Why is this in Infidelity?
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Old 11th July 2008, 11:23 PM   #7
Lyssa
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Talk to her about it. Why won't she entertain it - are the reasons as what theobserver has mentioned?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NoIDidn't View Post
Ask her. And if she refuses wait for a couple of days and ask again.

I wonder how many men really want to try anal that haven't. Why is this in Infidelity?
Perhaps the OP is thinking of getting it elsewhere? I think it should be in the Sex & Health section, maybe he'll get more responses from those with this sort of experience.
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Old 12th July 2008, 12:29 AM   #8
NoIDidn't
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lyssa View Post
Talk to her about it. Why won't she entertain it - are the reasons as what theobserver has mentioned?



Perhaps the OP is thinking of getting it elsewhere? I think it should be in the Sex & Health section, maybe he'll get more responses from those with this sort of experience.
I would suggest a callgirl then. I would be offended if a guy wanted anal sex from me just because his W wouldn't do it.
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Old 12th July 2008, 2:19 AM   #9
Angel1111
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Oh, my gosh, observer - you had me laughing with that post! Hysterical. I hope you get over your shyness soon. Thanks - I totally enjoyed that.

Well, how do I say this....you're talking about a VERY sensitive area. And that sensitivity can be exquisite or excruciating. Have you ever touched her there before? Instead of asking her about it, demonstrate how it can feel just by staying on the outer edges with your finger. But as 'observer' said, lubrication is really important. See where that gets you. She might even surprise you...
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Old 12th July 2008, 3:01 AM   #10
lolobear
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You have two main options here:

1. You can sit your wife down and have a serious talk with her. Tell her that this is something you desperately want to try and try to explain why it's so important to you. Tell her about the feelings you associate with the act. Explain it to her and try to get her to understand your point of view. Maybe you'll both compromise and reach a solution that makes you both happy.

2. Accept your wife's rejection and move towards trying not to desire anal sex, or if the desire to have anal sex is stronger than being with your wife (in which case you should either breakup with her or seek therapy) then you should look elsewhere.
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Old 12th July 2008, 3:05 AM   #11
Arise_Serpentor
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you don't "want to go elsewhere". Well good for you! I would certainly hope not! I don't think anal sex was on the table when you got married! Maybe if you started sticking dildos up your butt, she might see its ok and take yours!

Doesnt sound so tempting now, does it?!

What you may want to do is find out if she likes just a finger around her butt pleasurable, and slowly work it in the sex! But if she doesnt like it , she doesnt like it! does she make you do things she likes that you dont?
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Old 12th July 2008, 10:12 AM   #12
whichwayisup
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Quote:
Maybe if you started sticking dildos up your butt, she might see its ok and take yours!
If one isn't into anal play, yet allows her spouse to stick it up there, it's only fair that she is allowed to put a strap-on ON and bang him up there as well.
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Old 12th July 2008, 10:24 AM   #13
saraispiel19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whichwayisup View Post
If one isn't into anal play, yet allows her spouse to stick it up there, it's only fair that she is allowed to put a strap-on ON and bang him up there as well.
AGREED!

lol well truth be told.

My husband has been dying for it. Before I was a total scrooge when it came to that I'd freak out. However I did entertain the thought- have you started rubbing that area while "going down" or during intercourse.. because that's how it started with me.

It goes from: Hell no to licking/rubbing, fingers then the actual insertion.

I'm not ready for the insertion yet just because I'm scared of the pain-- yes I'm still hung up over that if you've read my previous post about it.. But i'm getting there!


Goodluck to ya!
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