[memnonayr]

I was married and just got a divorce.


My best man's fiance is a long time family friend. 6 months ago she told me she has a huge crush on me. I was flattered but it never went anywhere. we all lost contact 3 months ago due to job and schedule changes. Well for the last 3 weeks I have been thinking about this girl. Out of nowhere 3 days ago I get a call out of nowhere from her. She wants to hang out with me alone. She has told me this 3 days in a row. I told her that I couldn't. I had hugely innapropriate feelings for her too. Then she started in how she has feelings for me. I spent the next hour convincing her that all my feelings are wrong. That nothing could ever be between us and that her fiance is a great man that I couldn't disrespect like this. She goes on about how great a friend I really am. All the while I am secretly thinking i would love to be with this chic.

Their wedding is only a month away. She calls me up becuase of her crush over me. I really want to tell her that if she is having feelings like this so close to her wedding day, that maybe marriage isn't the best idea since she obviously isnt totally commited to the guy. Then again part of me wants her.

Should I tell her or just dissappear?

[confused and broken]

Stay as far away as you possibly can... leave the country if possible (if you know what I mean) You do not want to be part of this horrible horrible situation
Marriage is a terrible idea......obviously she is going to f it up...
If she won't break it off with her fiance than you have to tell him
Think about it wouldn't you want to know you were falling into a trap
Dude any human being deserves to know that the woman he is about to marry is not even worth dating
Please make the right decision here
Marriage is no joke
and whatever you do never ever get involved with her or you could end up in his situation

[SethEaston]

In a way I agree with you - it seems like she's not ready to get married if her mind is on you. It's either a sign of immaturity or not actually being in love with her fiance (and having some ulterior motive for marrying him).

Why don't you just clear the air and ask her why she's getting married?

[GPFan]

Originally Posted by SethEaston

Why don't you just clear the air and ask her why she's getting married?

I agree. Instead of telling him, confront her directly. She may be panicking or worse. In any case, stay as away far as possible from this potentially explosive situation!

[Bryanp]

He was your best man. You have got to tell him. If the roles were reversed wouldn't you expect him to tell you?

[mental_traveller]

Shouldn't you be telling your "best man" (yeah, right) that his fiancee wants to cheat on him?

You would also be stupid to get with her, since she is a proven cheater. She's therefore guaranteed to cheat on you eventually.

[memnonayr]

Originally Posted by mental_traveller

Shouldn't you be telling your "best man" (yeah, right) that his fiancee wants to cheat on him?

You would also be stupid to get with her, since she is a proven cheater. She's therefore guaranteed to cheat on you eventually.

I'm not getting with this chic. No! I realize I just have stupid thoughts in my head.

I talked to my best man. He knows she wants me on some level and said he just doesnt have a problem with it as long as she doesn't do me. This guy was home schooled his entire life. I met him when he got his first job when he was 16. He stood across the grill from me. Totally void of personality. No body talked to him. I did and became his first real friend he ever had. He over the next year ended up becoming a lot like me. He thinks its normal that she should like me. Everything he learned about socializing with people he learned from me.

Anyway. They have been having a lot of arguements as the wedding gets closer. He thinks she doesn't want to get married and is just trying to start trouble. (duh!!!)

The girl started texting me this evening that they where at a party and her fiance was ignoring her. I told her to go look him in the eye and tell HIM she needed attention and try some pre marriage counseling instead of dragging me into the middle of their problems. F--- this. They can sort their own problems out. If he's too busy to pay attention to the fact that she is alone at a party texting another guy then I dont want to have anything to do with the whole situation. I think they may both be to young and immature for marriage.

I am so not talking to either of them for quite a while.