I am so irritated w/ my H right now I could strangle him! He is a golf FREAK! He eats, drinks, sleeps golf. On Mondays he plays on a league at one course, Thursdays he plays on the local one, and on sometimes on Tuesday (I don't know if he will be playing every Tues.) he plays at another one. Then on Fridays he goes after work and plays w/ his work buddies. One day on the weekend he plays in a tournament. Golf is his OW.
He usually is home around 8:00-8:30 but then heads off to work 2 hours later.
I know he needs his time but if I was gone this much for a hobby he would have a fit. It doesn't bother me as much now as when the kids were little but still, he spends more time golfing than he does being a H or a father. I keep thinking that when the kids are grown and out of the house it's gonna be reversed. He will want to spend time w/ them and they will push him away b/c he did the same to them. This will end up biting him in the a$$ in the end and he only has himself to blame.
It could be worse, he could be out sitting at the bars getting drunk and I am very thankful for that. However, it really pisses me off that his parents are here from out of state visiting and he isn't putting off his golf games. He sleeps all day and then goes to golf leaving me to entertain his parents all day and night. He sees them and visits w/ them for probably two or three hours a day. I would NEVER do this to him.
I am so irritated w/ my H right now I could strangle him! He is a golf FREAK! He eats, drinks, sleeps golf. On Mondays he plays on a league at one course, Thursdays he plays on the local one, and on sometimes on Tuesday (I don't know if he will be playing every Tues.) he plays at another one. Then on Fridays he goes after work and plays w/ his work buddies. One day on the weekend he plays in a tournament. Golf is his OW.
He usually is home around 8:00-8:30 but then heads off to work 2 hours later.
I know he needs his time but if I was gone this much for a hobby he would have a fit. It doesn't bother me as much now as when the kids were little but still, he spends more time golfing than he does being a H or a father. I keep thinking that when the kids are grown and out of the house it's gonna be reversed. He will want to spend time w/ them and they will push him away b/c he did the same to them. This will end up biting him in the a$$ in the end and he only has himself to blame.
It could be worse, he could be out sitting at the bars getting drunk and I am very thankful for that. However, it really pisses me off that his parents are here from out of state visiting and he isn't putting off his golf games. He sleeps all day and then goes to golf leaving me to entertain his parents all day and night. He sees them and visits w/ them for probably two or three hours a day. I would NEVER do this to him.
yep my xH did the same thing - golf 3-4 times a week for years... then i found out years later that at times when he said he was golfing he was with OW...
he'd come home with some sort of sweet token gift or flowers to appease me. it only occurs to me at times like this when i actually am reminded of the events that surrounded his so called golf time.
i wasn't ever the mad type of gal - but in retrospect i should have been.
I guess I'm not seeing this as funny like some other posters. I would look into having a compromise, such as he golfs only 2 days a week instead of four. When it's to the point where his kids are basically growing up without a father, then there's a problem.
The other woman does not necessary have to be a real woman. Time spent outside of the relationship can detract from the real relationship. Instead of building a relationship to build an emotional bond, the "cheater" redirects their needs to outside passions.
Its important to have outside interests, but your H does seem to be taking the P*ss a bit.
I assume his level of involvement in golf means that you don't have much time left to pursue your own interests outside of keeping house and looking after the kids?
I was going to suggest that you get an interest of your own and start spending as much time and money on it as he does golf, however that won't do your kids any good.
You need to talk about it and reach some kind of compromise.
The other woman does not necessary have to be a real woman. Time spent outside of the relationship can detract from the real relationship. Instead of building a relationship to build an emotional bond, the "cheater" redirects their needs to outside passions.
The other woman in this case would be golf.
My OW are football and fishing, although that means I get time to spend with the OM, which are LS and silversmithing so all is OK for now....
Your H has an A on you, asks you for a D and abandons you, then comes back begging - only to return to this??!? My God, how much more bad treatment are you willing to take from this man? (Apparently he thinks it's infinite.) He doesn't seem to be too concerned about your happiness at all. Was he ever? How do you live like that, mopar? Seriously. I am completely mystified.
__________________
"The newsflash is that in the game of love we are ALL at Vegas, some of us are bigger gamblers than others...
Mopar... my MM from work is going golfing next week.. he's on holidays for 2 weeks.. in fact he will be 'golfing' in my bed.. it's an excuse to spend the day with me.. we haven't seen each other for a few weeks.. I was busy with the moving..
I'm not saying your H doesn't play golf.. I'm just saying that it could also be an excuse once in a while..
__________________ “A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are” - Victor Lownes
Mopar... my MM from work is going golfing next week.. he's on holidays for 2 weeks.. in fact he will be 'golfing' in my bed.. it's an excuse to spend the day with me.. we haven't seen each other for a few weeks.. I was busy with the moving..
I'm not saying your H doesn't play golf.. I'm just saying that it could also be an excuse once in a while..
i too, felt that way when i was married... i often wondered if he was REALLY golfing when he said he was.
it's an easy out for the golfer because a big allotment of time is set aside with the assumption that they may be "out of range" by phone and all.
how easy is that if you plan to spend time with OW?
not really any easy or good way to check on where they are or for how long... even if their car is in the parking lot etc. how do you know for sure they are on the golf course?
just saying... don't mean to alarm you...
just putting out there feelings that i had for years and actually forgot about them until now...
Your H has an A on you, asks you for a D and abandons you, then comes back begging - only to return to this??!? My God, how much more bad treatment are you willing to take from this man? (Apparently he thinks it's infinite.) He doesn't seem to be too concerned about your happiness at all. Was he ever? How do you live like that, mopar? Seriously. I am completely mystified.
Well that puts a different perspective on things...
I truly hope he is only playing golf... doesn't he still have a bit to prove to you in the "good Husband" department though?
Your H has an A on you, asks you for a D and abandons you, then comes back begging - only to return to this??!? My God, how much more bad treatment are you willing to take from this man? (Apparently he thinks it's infinite.) He doesn't seem to be too concerned about your happiness at all. Was he ever? How do you live like that, mopar? Seriously. I am completely mystified.
Remembering your story Mopar, I'd have to agree. Under those circumstances, a WS would get one chance. Whether he blew that chance on golf, an OW or frisbee would be up to him. I'd tell him to go find another tee box...
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Also take the putter, 5 & 7 iron out, then hide them in different places.
" --Tomcat33, May 21, 2008
Linear Mode
