[Corinne]

I found a really good post on here a few days ago about the different ways men and women cope with their emotions, it would be good to read it again cos it helped me understand a bit, I think it came from wikipedia? Does anyone know where I can find it? been searching for ages

[sultry33]

dont know.. i was going ask you

most men get busy.. well my ex said thats how he is coping anyway

[ioncebelieved]

Wish I had the IN STONE answer for you on how I coped! I talked to people I trust was the main thing I guess. It always made me feel some better than holding everything in. Some will say keep your mind busy, but that's hard to do at first because she is occupying it. I will admit as the days go by, it gets easier and easier. Doesn't mean that I have stopped thinking of someone who I thought was an angel..... just not as much.

Having really good friends/ family is about the only answer I have. Of course, having a good cry will make you feel weak at the time, but immediately when you have finished YOU feel tons better.

[Corinne]

aw Ioncebelieved sounds like she cheated on you (hug) good that you can talk to people and feel your feelings, so many men just hide away from them and I think that makes you less human so good on you

Sultry my ex is keeping busy but I think that is a terrible weakness cos I think it will catch up with you eventually, how can we be whole without accepting everything we are?

I dunno men confuse me? I have been down my local working mens club today talking to the old fellas again, they have all been through stuff and some take it different to others but they mostly are afraid to feel? They just say '**** happens' get on with it... I just think its sad not to allow yourself to be real?

I might be wrong and its braver and stronger to just let it all go, we joked that I was Dorothy in the wizard of OZ and the 3 old men I was sat with needed to find their hearts, brain and courage... then they said maybe I was a witch lol

Maybe I am

[ioncebelieved]

Originally Posted by Corinne

aw Ioncebelieved sounds like she cheated on you (hug) good that you can talk to people and feel your feelings, so many men just hide away from them and I think that makes you less human so good on you

That all depends on how you look at it.... she was married and lied about getting a divorce and being separated. I was going through a divorce when I met her. I have good days and bad days still. Still not over Black Widow yet!!!!

[sumdude]

Everyone's different... men are probably less likely to admit some of their.. uh weepier times ... because let's face it. It's hard to take a 225 lb., 40 year old man seriously when he tells you about his weaker moments.. No one wants to see it.

Staying busy is important, it's not avoiding anything it's just a way to keep from obsessing constantly.

Me?

Working out, biking.. needed to get in shape anyway and it's a lot better to get any anger out on an Everlast bag or weight machine than anywhere else.

Talking with trusted friends.. posting on LS.

Reading, writing in a journal sometimes.

Writing songs.. pretty much wrote a whole divorce/breakup album last year.

the occasional drowning of the sorrows.

[bish]

Originally Posted by sultry33

dont know.. i was going ask you

most men get busy.. well my ex said thats how he is coping anyway

I'd say that is true. I spent alot of time at the gym, they have a punching bag there....pummeled the crap out of it, and worked on my house alot.

[Corinne]

Originally Posted by Corinne

I found a really good post on here a few days ago about the different ways men and women cope with their emotions, it would be good to read it again cos it helped me understand a bit, I think it came from wikipedia? Does anyone know where I can find it? been searching for ages

Still looking for the post? I have scoured wikipedia trying to find it? someone must know the one I mean?

It was copied and pasted and said stuff like Men deal with it much later, I want to read it again so I can understand how he is feeling but I also have 3 sons and I want to know how their minds work in this situation too

Cheers in advance if anyone can help

[foxh1234]

I am coping much better today due to finally seeing my ex for who she is NOW and not who she was THEN. That is a huge breakthrough for me. Even though she cheated on me and lied everyday for months, I still saw her as the beautiful loving girl she was years ago. Now I truly see her for the person she is now and this has made it so much easier to cope with the breakup, moving on with my life, put this period behind me and start to plan for my future without her in my life. Seeing our ex's for who and what they are at this point and not thinking of who they were in the past is huge, in my opinion. It is working for me and helping me cope with all this. just my 2 cents though.