Well so as some may unfortunately remember, I was sex buddies with this guy between october and february. I fell for him blah blah, then we had a falling out.
Anyway he is back in contact. He was going to show up on monday night before work at about 930 ( a nightshift worker) . No show.
Next day he apologises over IM
Arranges for last night (wednesday night) to show up and 9pm. I said to him "can you let me know if you arent coming"
NO SHOW
NO NOTHING
Made a magnification of how stupid the whole f buddy thing is and how stupid I am, and how cheap, and how worthless he must see me, not even to contact me to say not showing.
Feel free to tell me what an idiot I am, but really, I already know.
ALSO: last time we were seeing each other I was really clingy and needy. He will be expecting me to call/ email/ text/ IM today to chase after him. Not doing it, not doing anything. I feel like an idiot.
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You thought you didn't need him until you didn't have him, right?
What makes you think he won't do the same thing?!?!?!
I'm sorry you are going through this. It's hard to care about someone and have them treat you like you don't really matter.
I don't think it's any comment on you. You care about the guy and wanted to see him and that's natural and normal.
I think you are right not to go chasing after him or bug him about what happened. Please make sure you stick to that. It gives him the power in a situation where you already feel ignored and powerless. He will continue to abuse it and make you feel worse.
Please also try not to be so hard on yourself. You didn't act like an idiot, you acted like someone who wants to take a shot with someone she likes. Nothing wrong with that.
I hope things go better for you and I'm sorry again for what you are going through!
Ofcourse, I dont know what he is thinking, but it is kind of like he is testing me, maybe to see if i am as clingy or needy as i was before.
He would be expecting me to IM or email or something to ask why he didnt show up. the last time we were seeing each other, i would have done that by now....
It was a lousy thing to do. I did a lot of dating before I was married and I never stood anyone up. Twice? He's thoughtless at best and just plain mean at worst.
You may be right that he's testing you, but do you want to play that game if he is? It really doesn't have a good ending. You have already gotten attached to him once so even if you pass his test and get together, it will likely happen again. If you don't pass his test, you get hurt again even quicker. Better not to play in my opinion.
I think you would be much better off letting this one out of your life and finding a guy who doesn't need to play games or isn't rude. They are out there.
Still, I know it's no fun to care about someone and feel like you do. I'm sorry again for your frustration
What a s***head! This guy obviously enjoys having you want him but doesn't care to give anything back and is stringing you along. Definitely don't call him, IM or anything else. I know you're angry and rightfully so, but any action on your part just keeps the drama going and that's apparently what he wants.
What I want to know is: where do guys learn this kind of rude behavior? Is there some secret school they all attend from about the 8th grade onward? (If so, my ex graduated magna cum laude.)
Allow yourself to be truly pissed off and if he does happen to make contact, a simple "no thanks" text message will suffice - then complete silence. That should let him know he blew it. Bet he keeps calling after that; your choice on whether to ever pick up . . .
Do you know that, on Tuesday morning, when we arranged to meet on wednesday night, after he did a now show on Monday night, i specifically asked him to "let me know if you are not coming"
and he said "sure"
this is over IM
i am so annoyed that he thinks im not even worth an email
. Bet he keeps calling after that; your choice on whether to ever pick up . . .
Thats the thing, after he emailed me initially , I emailed back saying yeah lets get together and gave him my number.
Then I didnt hear anything for over a week, and normally i would email saying well where are you/ but i didnt and so then on Monday i get an email along the lines of , 'sorry have been busy with work but would love to catch up' - kind of like he had been testing me.....
2. Because you're so needy and clingy he doesn't even want to f you anymore. Because you're so annoying to him or you make him feel guilty because he doesn't care about you and he's using you while you're telling him you love him or want more than being f buddies. That creates pressure and discomfort which is out weighting his desire to f u.
3. He's bored of you. If the sex wasn't that good or you're a boring girl it may not even be worth continuing having sex with you. For guys if they're not in love with the girl or if they don't honestly enjoy the girl's personality they move on quickly cause once they've hit it, it's time to quit it.
I havent actually seen him for 5 months, and this whole idea of seeing each other again was HIS
Kimba, ignore the 13 year old who is posting that crap. He really doesn't speak for the general public. He's probably just hurt because all the girls at school make fun of him when he tries to get them to like him. Please don't let that crap get to you when you are already upset and down on yourself.
Kimba, ignore the 13 year old who is posting that crap. He really doesn't speak for the general public. He's probably just hurt because all the girls at school make fun of him when he tries to get them to like him. Please don't let that crap get to you when you are already upset and down on yourself.
Yeah/ Well I wonder how much of it is true. It is certainly the truth that there is the double standard that if a woman wants sex she is a whore, and if a man wants it he is a hero or a stud.
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