Well today is Wednesday, tomorrow is thursday.. Just another day right?
Nooooo...
Tomorrow is my works drinks and my ex has been invited (not by me!) and has decided to come. I mean she was with one of the guys who is leaving before me (for about 1 week) and she hasn't worked here for 8 months.. Yet she is coming.
I have 3 choices and i don't know what to do..
A) I can not go.. Just go home and imagine what she's getting up to with my work mates ..
B) I can go.. Play it cool and just ignore her.. And be a man!!
C) I can go, when she comes i can leave..
Now in the past when we used to work together and when we had split up, we would get back together at these events. We always would..I'd play it cool and things would just happen ..
But.. and a big but, I can't count on that happening again.
I don't want to go and see her getting 'friendly' with one of my work colleagues. That would kill me.
Do you think she would be so nasty as to do something like that?
I think it depends how long you have been apart? but I think if I was you and a Man! I would go and not get back with her or even give her the time of day.... easier typed than done
Be brave, be strong and love yourself without her!
Do you think she would be so nasty as to do something like that?
Who really knows, huh?
But perhaps there are some clues in her 'why' for deciding to attend? Do you know if she still has good relationships with many of her former work colleagues? If not, doesn't make sense for her to really be interested in the event...other than, perhaps, to 'stir your pot' and 'press your buttons'?
You can also "be a man" by not putting yourself in harm's way -- if your gut is telling you to stay away or to leave as soon as she arrives, it is also "being a man" to listen to that.
Well at least, in this woman's opinion, that is also being a man .
Interesting that you said you "can't count on" getting together again, THIS time -- not sure why -- it just made me go, "Hhmmm..."
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"They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." ~ Andy Warhol
Well a quick recap or our turbulent recent history..
She first dumped me at the beginning of Feb..
We got back at the start of April..
She dumped me again middleish May..
We met up at the beginning of June in a hotel just for sex..
That was the last time we were together and the last time she was civil to me, now she just tends to ignore me...
Before all this we used to work together and she dumped me a few times over the year but at these events we got back together again.
As for having a good relationship with these guys, well not really. To my knowledge she has seen them once since she left. But now suddenly they're her friends and she wants to go..
It was your best chance? Where does she get off saying that? It's pretty clear what that means. You mentioned that you've had a history of getting back together at these things. You realize that if you go, she's going evaluate you the entire time to see if she wants to do it all over again, which means she thinks that's okay behavior. You realize that every time she dumps you and you go back to her, you're reinforcing the idea that it's okay to dump you, right? It's not going to stop if you get back with her again. It just won't. If she wants you back, let her come after you. You don't want to be groveling after her. Hell, the way she dumped you embraced you and dumped you again is just plain cruel. Clearly, she doesn't have your best interest in mind and, more than anything, is probably just missing companionship. Once she gets her fill of companionship, she heads for the door until she needs it again. As painful as it is, you need to let her go completely, bro. She left, now she needs to live with the consequences of her decision. She thinks you're always going to be there for her, and she's self interested enough to leverage that to her advantage. You don't want a woman like that in your life, bro. You deserve better than that.
Why do i want to continue it? I miss the girl and as much as she obviously doesn't love me, i do her ...
Also the statement about it being my best chance, is in all honesty a bit crap. Because what if (and probably most likely) she deems me not worthy of that chance. She's had many an opportunity to be with me and thrown me away every time.
She wasn't promising me anything and in fact said some rather sobering things during our conversation.. i.e 'we all want something we can't have' (she wants brad pitt apparently).
What if she goes with the other guy? What if she gets with someone new?
All these thoughts are running through my mind and it's killing me.
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