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Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

Old 2nd July 2008, 8:24 AM   #1
Raindrop100
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is this considered cheating?

hi there was this girl who showed deep interest in my bf before and always came in between us. my bf and I querrelled few time over this 3rd party. he finally agreed not to see her anymore. the girl relent for about 6 months.

i knew she borrowed a book from my bf more than 6 months ago. she promised to courier to him but never did. today she called and my bf agreed to see her.

i caught him when he boarded public transport to see her and another gf. I was quite mad. they actually planned to have dinner after meet up.

i felt a bit cheated as i was on the phone with him before he boarded public transport but he didn't mention a word about this appointment. Only after he boarded the public transport and I heard the vehicle sound then only he confessed to me that he is meeting up with these girl as the first girl wanna return a book to him.

i was mad because she agreed to courier it back and more mad as my bf who always claimed he loved me so much yet breaking his promise to see this girl again. She was the root of our querrels and was he so forgetful about that?

please let me know your view as he is not seeing her alone but why he promised me he won't see her again.
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Old 2nd July 2008, 9:15 AM   #2
Untouchable_Fire
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raindrop100 View Post
please let me know your view as he is not seeing her alone but why he promised me he won't see her again.
How is the rest of your relationship?

How much do you trust him? Does he do this kind of thing a lot?

On the surface I would say that he is not telling you this stuff because he feels controlled and doesn't want conflict. Maybe if you removed those blocks he would talk with you about things like this.
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Old 2nd July 2008, 9:22 AM   #3
Enema
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Meeting up with someone to get back a borrowed item and a meal is not cheating. (If that's all that happened).

That said, it's probably not the type of behaviour I would tolerate in a partner.
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Old 2nd July 2008, 9:29 AM   #4
Raindrop100
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Originally Posted by Untouchable_Fire View Post
How is the rest of your relationship?

How much do you trust him? Does he do this kind of thing a lot?

On the surface I would say that he is not telling you this stuff because he feels controlled and doesn't want conflict. Maybe if you removed those blocks he would talk with you about things like this.

Well, i would say I don't really trust him much. But trust is building up as he showed more care to me now, let me have his email passwords etc...

However, there's always root of everything. When we just started out, this girl invited him for a day tour to bird park and he went, followed by many love letters and sms...He told the girl they are just activity partners and the girl finally relent...
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Old 2nd July 2008, 9:36 AM   #5
angie2443
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What he did was disrespectful to you. How much do you have invested in this guy? You sound young and so I'm assuming there are no kids or financial investments you share with your boyfriend. I'm going to suggest that you step back, look at your relationship objectively, and then decide if you really want to stay with your boyfriend or move on. If you want to stay, you two need to set up some bounderies in your relationship and stick with them.
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Old 3rd July 2008, 7:56 AM   #6
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If he loved you, respected you or even really cared about you he would gotten off the bus and not gone to see her. Then he would of apologized and tried to make it up to you.
Hi actually after he boarded the transport, I phoned him and found out about the appointment and expressed my displeasure, he did divert and came to see me near my work place right away. They didn't get to meet up and the book was not returned.

They have not been meeting up in the last 6 months though because thereafter I saw the woman's angry text message that mentioned she has not been looking for him for more than half a year and this time is to return a book, along with a long time girl friend...
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