[kittygogogo]

I have befriended a man who I find very attractive. We both have just gotten out of relationships, his a marriage with a wife who wasn't kind to him (of course, this is his side). I was in a short-term romance that didn't work out, but didn't really get over til I met this guy.

We have many mutual friends and hang out at the same place, but I didn't get to know each other until now, due to the boyfriend and his break-up... I think we've had an attraction for awhile, and kept our distance because of it.

In the few weeks, we have def. seen the light. We have become fast friends and are very attracted to each other. Yet, I know that he doesn't want a girlfriend and I don't want to force him into something that he doesn't want. But the attraction is very real, and is making a friendship difficult for both of us.

We've discussed being Friends with Benefits, but we like each other so much as friends that I'm afraid it would be difficult to maintain this. But the attraction is so real that I don't know how to avoid a sexual situation that is sure to arise (it has already). I have a feeling that he is anxious about this and I really want to be his friend, but don't know if I or he can fight it.

Any advice?

[Ally Boo]

Friendships make the best relationships. You can always be more than friends, but once you cross the sex line, you can't take that back.

I would measure how much potential there is with him. I mean, you are going to get to know him better and you will either get closer or fall apart. Best case scenario, you two get closer and either be glad you didn't cross the line, or decide to cross the line in a situation that you both want.

If you jump to friends with benefits, it would be responding to passion and may not be the smartest move right now.

It's not easy- I've been there. In my situation, an old love or his came in the picture, and I was so thankful we were careful with how we handled our passion.