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Any thoughts?
Ok here is my situation, I’m 32 my wife is 31 no children and this month we will be married 4 years. We dated for a year, and then were engaged for a year. For the last year and a half we have had problems. Last year we started to see a marriage councilor and lapsed for about 6 months then returned to the same councilor. About March the councilor during one of our one on one session the councilor said to me “**** or get off the pot”. When I returned the next week, I made my desion that I was getting off the pot. Which he convinced me that I should talk to my wife about the decision and the reasons that I had come to the conclusion. She begged for one last opportunity to correct the problems and I gave in and he I am today.
You name it and it s an issue or problem, Money has been an ongoing problem. In a nut shell she has no concept of it. Last year she made 24,000 then the year prior and all she has to show for it is a couple of purses and a new 3,000 credit card bill. When we first got married she wanted to control all the bills, I have had direct deposit for the last 10 years, so every week the amount to pay my bills and the house hold bills was deposited, but payments to my accounts were not made and my credit score dropped about 130 points in a year and a half. I normally don’t ask for anything, but if I do its normally important, I have to basically explode in order for her to take care of the item. For example the wedding pictures. Checks were written to the photographer right after the wedding, they were not turned in or she never followed up with the photographer and my mother and sister did not receive any pictures from the studio. This item was talked about every month or two for the 3 years it was discussed with councilor and still nothing happened nothing was done until 6 months ago at Christmas. The latest big issue is her finances, I said that in order for things to possibly turn around I needed to see all her bills the total owed and what her salary was basically I wanted to put her on a budget. It was discussed in a counseling session and because she dose not have any discipline I was told to give a dead line. I gave her the deadline and what I needed and the dead line came she asked for an extension, Ok so I gave her the extension, 4 days went by still never worked on it, on the 5th day I asked about it, she got upset that I asked about it, started to work on it, 5 more days go by I exploded and then she finally gave it to me. My biggest problem is that 90% of the information was already done in an excel spread sheet that she uses to pay the bills with. I do not have any trust that if I ask for something that it will get doneShe resents my hobbies because it draws time away from her, she hates my job, my friends dislike her because of thing that she has done to them personally and things that she has done to me. Her friends act like they are 12 and I prefer not to “hang out with them”. [/SIZE][/FONT]
I was partially holding off on divorce because the end of May beginning of June I had a business trip that I was going to be out of town for 3 weeks and I was hoping the old adage of absence make the heart grow fonder would help me decide, Well the 3 weeks has turned into 5 weeks and I avoid speaking to her as much as possible and dread talking to her when I do. I still love her but I am no longer in love with hr because of her behaviorI know that there is a lot more information that I haven’t given and it is one sided, but dose anyone have any thoughts if I should contuse making an attempt or proceed with divorce
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