So I returned the call to the man I went out for sushi with the other weekend. We went out to dinner last Friday to a very nice place for Brazilian food (which was wonderful by the way). Afterwards he asked if I wanted to go to a bar to meet some of his friends. The problem was he didn't know where the place is. I suggested that we go another place where my friend's band was playing, not because I felt uncomfortable around his friends, but because it was safer knowing a place that we both knew where it was. He got to meet some of my friends who were there, they chatted a bit, and all seemed well.
He said "You're different. In a good way. You have many layers to you." He took me home, dropped me off and we ended the night with a hug. He said "I hope I hear from you soon." Did not talk on Saturday or Sunday. I think the ball is in my court. Is it?
Yes, I'd say the ball is in your court. Kind of odd that he put it there though. Almost like he doesn't want the responsibility of calling you in any given window (i.e. some say 3 days for example). But-since this is not 1950, call him if you like him!
Why is the ball in your court? Did he lose his ability to court you?
I just don't pursue guys in the beginning. I find it upsets the dynamic and sets a bad tone. I LIKE a guy who will call a woman, rather than expect her to do the work.
I'd wait to hear from him.
Two dates and ending in a hug? Could be mere friendship anyhow...
__________________ "I've always relied on the strangeness of kind people."
How much green has he dished out compared to you, OP?
Why does this matter? They've had only two dates.
__________________
...and I feel like I'm naked in front of a crowd,
'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud,
and I know that you'll use them however you want to...
Because I am curious. And I do think it's relevant. If he has been taking her out and wooing her, dropping a lot of cash in the process, there's nothing wrong with her taking the responsibility of the ball being in her court. He's showing his willingness through a financial investment. Now she could show a bit of communication/planning investment.
We talked via text message last night. And now, something else has just happened via text message.
Tonight I sent him a text message saying "I am at an evening class right now, will be home around 10". He sent one back to me saying "Did you intend to send this to me?". This surprised me. I responded back saying "Um, yeah, just letting you know". He sent back saying "Ok, what do you want to do later then?". The class started and I didn't want to be rude and text message in the middle of things. I got home and sent him a text saying "I'm home now". And ... Nothing. Is that strange? Not that he hasn't responded, but that he asked if I intended to send him this message.
We talked via text message last night. And now, something else has just happened via text message.
Tonight I sent him a text message saying "I am at an evening class right now, will be home around 10". He sent one back to me saying "Did you intend to send this to me?". This surprised me. I responded back saying "Um, yeah, just letting you know". He sent back saying "Ok, what do you want to do later then?". The class started and I didn't want to be rude and text message in the middle of things. I got home and sent him a text saying "I'm home now". And ... Nothing. Is that strange? Not that he hasn't responded, but that he asked if I intended to send him this message.
He will probably show up around midnight.
That text was pretty vague. I would take it as an invitation to come over or something. After 10 with no pre date activity it could be taken as a booty call invite.
I think he asked if you intended to send that to him because it was vague. Especially after only 2 dates. He doesn't know you all that well.
Then "I just wanted to let you know", followed by an "I'm home now".
Either he is on the way over or he is freaked out.
Well, what were your intentions in sending that text? Generally telling someone you're going to be home late is an invitation for booty after. Was that the goal?
he thought you were allowing him to understand your availability after 10 pm. he was expecting you to say "let's go to a movie" or "how about ice-cream or coffee" NOT i am home now.
i'm sure he's thinking WTF? who cares... she's home... okaaaay...
you missed the window of time with him by a simple misunderstanding. for the future - men don't need to know where you are at every moment of your day.
next time be clear - how about dinner? how about a movie, the beach? get it?
Yes - the ball is in your court. I've read the rest of the responses up to this point. How bout this theory - he knows too many women at the end of the date wonder if they'll ever hear from him again, or get put on the spot if they are unsure if they want to see the guy again - or feel pressured. And so he put it out there that he wanted to see you again and let you decide if you wanted to see him again - in your own time - and without the pressure of him standing over you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JackhammerGemma
Yes, I'd say the ball is in your court. Kind of odd that he put it there though. Almost like he doesn't want the responsibility of calling you in any given window (i.e. some say 3 days for example). But-since this is not 1950, call him if you like him!
It would be normal and expected if I txt'd my SO of 2 years that I was in class and when I'd be home. Or my child. Or my roommate - if I had one. If I got that text from a person I'd gone out with twice I too would wonder if it was a misdirected text - it's out of the norm to be telling someone you barely know where you are, what you're doin, when you'll be done.
As for why no response after your delayed text? Maybe he went out. Maybe he went to sleep. Maybe he thought the original txt was in error and you were too polite to say so and that you had other plans after school since you didn't answer (for reasons he is unaware of) his question about what you two would do after school.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mortensorchid
We talked via text message last night. And now, something else has just happened via text message.
Tonight I sent him a text message saying "I am at an evening class right now, will be home around 10". He sent one back to me saying "Did you intend to send this to me?". This surprised me. I responded back saying "Um, yeah, just letting you know". He sent back saying "Ok, what do you want to do later then?". The class started and I didn't want to be rude and text message in the middle of things. I got home and sent him a text saying "I'm home now". And ... Nothing. Is that strange? Not that he hasn't responded, but that he asked if I intended to send him this message.
Hmmm. Well, I guess I messed up then. I was hoping maybe we could talk on the phone for a bit. But now that I read this again I guess it does imply a booty call, doesn't it? I guess I better just let it stand and let HIM contact me again?
Last edited by mortensorchid; 2nd July 2008 at 1:10 AM..
Reason: adding more text
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Now the real question is, "Does he like Sake?" 
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