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Trying to get back together....guilt increases!!

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Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

Old 30th June 2008, 6:12 PM   #1
4givrnt4gtr
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Trying to get back together....guilt increases!!

So after over a month of being broken up with bf (due to him sending dirty texts to another girl) I decided to give him a second chance

However, that month was hell for me, and my best guy friend was going thru something similar. Anyway, one night he and I got drunk and made out (no sex). At that point I didnt think I'd be getting back together with my boyfriend, so I didnt see that as wrong...just impulsive and potentially bad for my friendship.

Anyway a week later from that my ex contacts me and we start talking again. We end up meeting up and during that meeting he tells me about how horrible this month has been for him, and how he's thought about what I asked him to think about before trying to get back with me. He is saying he loves me and wants nothing more than get me back.
Im glad to hear that, but the thought of having made out with my friend weighs on me. Then my ex asks me if I did anything stupid in the time we were apart. I said no...and he said he is glad because he wants to know that the person he is with is strong enough not to run to the first person who shows them attention. That if i had said yes then things would be different.
I reminded him that we were separated and single during that month so neither of us has a say on what the other did. He said that although that is true, it also speaks of what we feel for each other. He couldnt imagine himself with anyone else and that he hoped it was the same for me. THat he hasnt touched anyone else since we met and that those text that I found were just a stupid game between him and his friends but that he would never imagine being with anyone else.

Anyway the point is that I feel guilty for hooking up with my friend. I know that Its not cheating but I also feel bad for not having the courage to tell my bf what I did. Now that we are working on getting back together...should I tell him? I feel im being dishonest by keeping it quiet...but at the same time I know we wont gain anything by me telling him other than getting into a fight.

What do you all think?
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Old 30th June 2008, 6:19 PM   #2
cant breathe
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Tell him the truth ,its the only way you will be comfortable and not worrying the whole time if it's going to come out or not!!!!

It shouldn't be a secret so, i would be reminding him that you were not together at the time and were free to do as you pleased.

If you do choose to remain silent on this be prepared beacuse things like this ALWAYS come out eventually and then it will be a lot worse. Be honest because if you have any chance of making this work you should start again with a clean slate not keeping secrets or telling lies.
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Old 3rd July 2008, 10:08 AM   #3
Lauriebell82
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I think he is full of b.s. telling you that he wouldn't like it if you hooked up with some other guy while you were broken up. And on top of that he guilt tripped you. He is the one who sent dirty texts to some girl WHILE you were together..and he has the nerve to question what you did while you were broken up due to his stupidity.

I'm sorry but I don't think you should get back with this dude. He sounds like an idiot, and a liar to boot. Tell him he had his chance and you are moving on.
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Old 3rd July 2008, 10:11 AM   #4
carhill
 
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Yes, the ex is a mind game player and he's FOS besides. Thusly, he deserves honesty

Serve it up cold....
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