LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Transitioning > Friends and Lovers

bed buddies.

Register Community Guidelines FAQ Journals Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Old 29th June 2008, 12:54 PM   #1
Sw3etdev1L
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 98
bed buddies.

I went out with this person for just five days and rejected him.
I was just trying to give myself some respect you know? but he apparently got bored and said he wanted to be friends with me and see what else in the future.
Therefore I thought " well, if he is sending me to hell because I dont go to bed with him, then why not? "..if I like him and I don't want problems in my life.
I said to him, we should be bed buddies. The thing is.. he answered me on sunday he was glad I took that decission and throughout the whole week he didn't call. I noticed I was expecting attention of him you know?
I have never been in a bed buddy relationship, and after I told him what I wanted.. and not knowing from him in a week, I even said hi to him in msn and he ignored me so.. well, I felt horrible. I don't want to have a bed buddy relationship with him anymore.. You know what? I really liked the boy, but I noticed I have to have attention and be cared for, I need respect and fidelity so..
I just don't know what to do anymore.. I don't know if he has someone already, or if he is just letting me think or I don't know what, but I already thought about the bed buddy thing, it ain't gonna work for me..
I recently posted something about bed buddies and you guys really opened my mind hehe.
I cannot have a bed buddy relationship because I need self respect and my partners respect and attention, if not.. I am not even going to be good in bed so.
I just thought I wanted to get his attention, of being saintly to making him know I am not against sex, but I am not a slut either you know? ..
Sw3etdev1L is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th June 2008, 12:59 PM   #2
melodymatters
Established Member
 
melodymatters's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,098
FORGET HIM !!!

WHO CARES WHAT HE THINKS ????

He is obviously showing you no respect, and cares nothing for your feelings.

Please, just let this one go, and find yourself a sweet boyfriend who cares about you !!!

{hugs}
__________________
-----------------------------------------------
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all it's pupils." - Louis-Hector Berlioz
melodymatters is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th June 2008, 1:16 PM   #3
jerbear
Established Member
 
jerbear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Fifth rock from the Sun
Posts: 5,288
Journal Entries: 2
Sounds like a game he is playing!

You've been hooked and he is taking his time reeling you in by ignoring you!

Leave him alone, IF you really want a bed buddy, forget him and seek a FWB. He is not a FWB nor NSA.
jerbear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th June 2008, 1:34 PM   #4
stillafool
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,418
It seems like he doesn't even want to be bed buddies with you. I would take that as the ultimate insult. Stop playing games with guys as you can see they can see right through them and it is a turn off. Say what you want and mean it that way people will respect you. My opinion is you blew it with this guy and try a different more honest approach on the next one.
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th June 2008, 1:36 PM   #5
lostboy11
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 18
I am a guy and this dude here is showing you no respect. I'm telling you... Most people cannot have a bed buddy relationship with no strings attached. Eventually strong feelings will develop, probably on one side of it and someone will get hurt. Cut this d-bag loose before he causes any more damage. You should not have to tolerate his game playing ways and/or basic disrespect.
lostboy11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th June 2008, 4:21 PM   #6
Sw3etdev1L
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 98
You guys are so right I mean.. I basically told him I wanted to be bed buddies with him, after having rejected a lot of his invitations to his apartment. Now I think he is having a revenge or somethin, I don't know. I mean, after I agreed, one week without calling. I mean, its weird.. any men would say " sure" and go right after the girl they were after. I don't know what is wrong with him, but yes, I believe he is playing games. I have not called, not messaged him not nothing and I don't intend to, I am going to let him loose and it was his loss, not mine. Things happen for a reason right? Besides, I do need respect, and if I get layed with someone I need to feel that person has fought a for that situation which he has earned you know? he hasn't earned anything. So why should I?.. I guess I'll have to be clear with him, IF he does call me, it is so recent.. I am still stupidly waiting for that call. It is not that I want it, or whatever..but my ego is hurt too. you know the feeling?? horrible.
Sw3etdev1L is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th June 2008, 8:24 PM   #7
lostboy11
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 18
He sounds like someone with some serious ego problems. So basically, he's asked you to come over a number of times (clearly interested), and now that you show interest, he's ignoring you. It's so stupid. I'll bet he read how to go about this in Maxim. Some guys are so into their ego that they do this stuff. Sadly, too, once the challenge is over with many of these ego trippers think they "have you" and they move on to something else they can conquer. Don't worry though. This game is only played by losers who you wouldn't want to be with anyway. There are still a lot of good guys out there. Please let us know when you've dropped this loser.
lostboy11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th June 2008, 8:15 AM   #8
stillafool
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,418
When he iinvited you to his house was it for sex or to hang out?
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th June 2008, 8:52 PM   #9
Mary3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Nevada
Posts: 3,430
Red face

Quote:
Originally Posted by lostboy11 View Post
He sounds like someone with some serious ego problems. So basically, he's asked you to come over a number of times (clearly interested), and now that you show interest, he's ignoring you. It's so stupid. I'll bet he read how to go about this in Maxim. Some guys are so into their ego that they do this stuff. Sadly, too, once the challenge is over with many of these ego trippers think they "have you" and they move on to something else they can conquer. Don't worry though. This game is only played by losers who you wouldn't want to be with anyway. There are still a lot of good guys out there. Please let us know when you've dropped this loser.
Wow love this !
__________________
"how do you gently break up with someone???..
Thats like saying how do I gently drive a monster truck through a china/glass/crystal shop.
__________________
Mary3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th June 2008, 10:06 PM   #10
Sw3etdev1L
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 98
Cool

You know what is the most silly thing of it all?
The most silly thing is.. there is a long way between what it is said, and what it might happen.
I understand, that maybe words can boost someone's ego, but if that person says something and he/she is not showing interest for you besides what he/she said, then it is absolutely stupid to let someone you are so willing to have sex with to just leave you telling you " I want to have sex with you".. because.. as I said before.. well words are blown with the wind. Words don't mean anything, words without action? how can that boost somebody's ego?
isn't it ridiculous?
I mean, he didn't even look at me naked.
now, I regret having proposed being bed buddies, and I am so over him.
so, really.. if he'd call, the most probable thing of what I'd say would be something like " you know what? You are are really hot and I was really fantasizing of the moment in which we would both could become intimate, but seriously, for that to happen I need seduction, somebody who is attentive to me and who treats me right and I still think you are so hot, but I don't think you are into me that much so, thanks but no thanks".
I mean, if men can be so manipulated by sexy words, then they are the easiest creatures because, they can manipulate us by trying to make us think they are going to get married with us, and we can manipulate them by saying we are going to f... and we don't want nothing serious. So,
it is all just very lame. hehe
The roles can be turned the other way. hehe
Sw3etdev1L is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th June 2008, 10:22 PM   #11
Sw3etdev1L
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 98
Red face

But you know what is the worst part of all??
I've been thinking so much in him these days, I mean.. So much, even more now than when we were dating.
I am so insecure right now, the fact of not having him, of not knowing from him, of him showing me no attention is absolutely making me so eager to know from him.
I mean..my response is so weird, I am so wanting for him to call me.
If he doesn't well, of course I will forget him, by now I haven't made a move at all. Cause my plan is to let him go, if he is not into me, he will never be. And most of all, even if he rejects me. You know?.
I mean, there's two cute guys going after my pretty little bones right now, and he, who doesn't seem to care is the one who caught my attention and a part of me is so happy to have provoked him that day with that message, and the other one is so worried to have been seen as a slut. But the truth is, when I went out with him I gave myself a lot of respect.
the message shouldn't be that bad, it is just a written message. I feel so nervous. HELP hehe.
I am trying not to care, but I am so intrigued of what will happen next.. I mean, I am so...."like a girl who's gonna buy a new barbie, you know?".
"I am excited and worried that at the end, my parents won't buy it and it will take the illussion away from me". This feeling makes me think it is nothing to worry about, but...meanwhile, it feels like horrible!!!.
hasn't this ever happened to you at all?
Sw3etdev1L is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st July 2008, 10:49 AM   #12
stillafool
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,418
Most of us have been where you are right now. Longing for someone who may or may not be right for us. I guess it's a part of growing up. It's best for you to get out of the house and spend time with your friends. ((BIG HUG))
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st July 2008, 8:48 PM   #13
Mary3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Nevada
Posts: 3,430
Wink

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sw3etdev1L View Post
You know what is the most silly thing of it all?
The most silly thing is.. there is a long way between what it is said, and what it might happen.
I understand, that maybe words can boost someone's ego, but if that person says something and he/she is not showing interest for you besides what he/she said, then it is absolutely stupid to let someone you are so willing to have sex with to just leave you telling you " I want to have sex with you".. because.. as I said before.. well words are blown with the wind. Words don't mean anything, words without action? how can that boost somebody's ego?
isn't it ridiculous?
I mean, he didn't even look at me naked.
now, I regret having proposed being bed buddies, and I am so over him.
so, really.. if he'd call, the most probable thing of what I'd say would be something like " you know what? You are are really hot and I was really fantasizing of the moment in which we would both could become intimate, but seriously, for that to happen I need seduction, somebody who is attentive to me and who treats me right and I still think you are so hot, but I don't think you are into me that much so, thanks but no thanks". I mean, if men can be so manipulated by sexy words, then they are the easiest creatures because, they can manipulate us by trying to make us think they are going to get married with us, and we can manipulate them by saying we are going to f... and we don't want nothing serious. So,
it is all just very lame. hehe
The roles can be turned the other way. hehe
I really like this..
Mary3 is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
F-Buddies confused696969 In Search Of... 39 3rd November 2005 8:01 AM
F*ck Buddies??? sjjane Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 8 5th May 2004 10:51 AM
Can F&$# Buddies Become More? Rightlymia Friends and Lovers 19 1st April 2004 5:49 PM
hey buddies yumurcak Archive 3 26th November 2001 4:03 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:29 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2008 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.