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Awkward Situation

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Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Old 28th June 2008, 4:53 PM   #1
Little Kitten
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Red face Awkward Situation

I am in love with my best friend...but that's not the bad part. He called me over while his mother was in the hospital to spend time with him. I spent three nights with him and he slept in the same bed with me and was rather cuddly. He even was nice enough to take me to my doctors appointment one morning and sat there for two hours. Thing is...he has a girlfriend...but he seems to be treating me like his girlfriend and his girlfriend like his friend. I've known him for about five years now and he and I have been on and off...last year he told me he was in love with me but we ended up falling out but we ended up talking again and for some reason he can't seem to keep his hands to himself. He's extremely protective of me and talks to me about his personal life and even extremely personal things that I'm sure he doesn't tell his girlfriend. He was so hurt by this situation that he had to sleep close to me...he fell asleep stroking my hair....thing is...he doesn't seem like he's gonna be my "friend" very long even though he is acting like my unofficial boyfriend...am I wrong by showing him that I love him? Staying at his house taking care of his mother? My former best friend told me that it was the girlfriends job to take care of the mother but his mom isn't close to his girlfriend like that and wouldn't have her around...and instead of calling his own girlfriend to help take care of him and keep him company he called me instead to stay at his house....am I wrong for being so close to him? He is my best friend...but it's like he's turning into my boyfriend/lover...what the heck is going on?!?! Also it's like his girlfriend is slowly disappearing...the picture of him and her is no longer on his keychain and he barely mentions her anymore....He's also starting to bring me around his friends and family quite a bit as well...what is goin on?
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Old 28th June 2008, 6:01 PM   #2
Ronni_W
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Kitten View Post
...what is goin on?
Er...he's phasing her out and you, in?

I'm in a long-term relationship with someone who also was a very good friend. We kind of developed as you two have, and are doing great!!! <touch wood>. He didn't have a g/f when we got together, though, but in your case it sounds as if she may have been on her way out whether or not you entered the picture.

Of course, the very best person to discuss this with is your best friend (soon-to-be-boyfriend?) You could approach it from standpoint of not wanting to get hurt yourself, as well as not wanting to get any further between him and his girlfriend. Maybe also ask does he want/need some time to sort things out with her, or is he just confused about his feelings for you...and should you just ignore what is transpiring between the two of you, and find yourself a 'real' b/f? (which'll shake him up, one way or the other, I'm guessing .)
Good luck.
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Old 29th June 2008, 6:37 AM   #3
GPFan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronni_W View Post
Er...he's phasing her out and you, in?
This would be my guess too. It is time for you two to sit down and have a serious discussion.
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