[davee]

Ok so, I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year now, we have a great laugh and we've been getting more open and closer the past few months.

I think we have a strong relationship because for the early part up until last month she has been very determined to get into University so i gave her lots of space to get her work done, it's been very tough seeing her only once a week sometimes.

down to the point, my best friend's girl had her suspicions that he and my girlfriend had something else going on and she's very insecure so i tried to block it out. Sometimes i felt abit weird but that's only because of the gossip that was circulating.

Me and my gf have spoke and she said " I can't believe she thinks me and lee are anything else, were just friends" which i replied with i know you are and im just friends with lee's girlfriend. alot of reassurance later and then.

Just browsing on her laptop thought i'd have a read of things me and her said to each other and had alittle smile at how we said things to each other. I then found the chatlog of her and lee which, after everything that has happened i couldnt help read.

What i found was flirting between them both (take this any way you like, i know its a convo on the internet but the words are hurtful) him saying, i want to see you and asking her what colour underwear she has on and her openly replying without remorse or second thought.

I couldnt read much more because at that point it's not on for me. I've confronted them both and are both deeply sorry and said the day after they were talking saying "what did we do that for last night?" and vowed to each other never to say because it was a stupid mistake and it meant nothing but now i have found out i don't know if i can trust them both fully.

I love her so much and she tells me she wants to be with me not him, it was just a mistake, one thing led to another. but obviously it's still fresh in my mind and im hurting, my girlfriend and my best friend talking in a way thats not acceptable, and apparently they both kissed on a night out, which i attended too. And are not sure if they did kiss, she said they did (she thinks) and he says i dont think we did.

Basically, i feel betrayed by them both especially after all the reassurance they brought to the table.

I don't what to do now, i dont think the relationship will be the same or my friendship.

thankyou

[theobserver]

I'm not sure why nobody replied to this.
Well.. sorry but a true friend wouldn't try it on with your girl, and a loyal girlfriend would not participate in such a conversation it's true there can be always playful flirting but from what you have mentioned this was crossing the line and they even know it and admit it . Who knows what else they got up to?

Your friends girlfriend isn't so insecure after all, she's probably caught then doing things which has made her so cautious that you should of paid attention to. No matter how much I love and trust my girlfriend if there was ever a friend/partial friend that said my girlfriend has been doing this and that while I wouldn't believe outright I would atleast investigate myself never trust someone 100% even our own mothers can lie to our face that is life.

My advice get a new friend and dump the girl. Don't be surrpised if your "friend" dumps his girl for your ex afterwards.
No friend and no girlfriend should be doing what they did and come on now you know they kissed there's a mutual interest in eachother wether they've done more then a kiss they'd never admit to now since they've seen the reaction to the online conversation.

Best of luck whatever your decision but trust me you will never trust your girlfriend again, especially when your friend is around and it could change you into a controlling person restricting who she can see and what she can do and you don't want that. Best think is to break up and find someone more devoting and loyal.

[confused and broken]

Man that totally sucks...
I don't understand people in this world ... my advice to the whole world is break up before you even contemplate cheating

This is tough advice but the relationship in my opinion only goes downhill from here. The best thing you can do though almost impossible when you love someone is to leave them both and move on with your life because neither of them are good enough for you, and shame on them for not at least deleting the evidence so you didn't have to find out that way.

[Bryanp]

Now you know that your girlfriend has the ability to lie, flirt and possibly cheat behind your back. I hope you told the other girlfriend what her boyfriend was up to. I think you made a mistake to stop reading. You probably would have found much more. I think you need to ask yourself why you would want to have a girlfriend that would do this to you behind your back? If the roles were reversed, do you think your girlfriend would be so accepting as you? She has no respect for you. If you do not respect yourself then who will?

[bish]

Originally Posted by davee

Ok so, I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year now, we have a great laugh and we've been getting more open and closer the past few months.

I think we have a strong relationship because for the early part up until last month she has been very determined to get into University so i gave her lots of space to get her work done, it's been very tough seeing her only once a week sometimes.

down to the point, my best friend's girl had her suspicions that he and my girlfriend had something else going on and she's very insecure so i tried to block it out. Sometimes i felt abit weird but that's only because of the gossip that was circulating.

Me and my gf have spoke and she said " I can't believe she thinks me and lee are anything else, were just friends" which i replied with i know you are and im just friends with lee's girlfriend. alot of reassurance later and then.

Just browsing on her laptop thought i'd have a read of things me and her said to each other and had alittle smile at how we said things to each other. I then found the chatlog of her and lee which, after everything that has happened i couldnt help read.

What i found was flirting between them both (take this any way you like, i know its a convo on the internet but the words are hurtful) him saying, i want to see you and asking her what colour underwear she has on and her openly replying without remorse or second thought.

Show your best friend's girl the chat log. Print it out for her, give it to her. Then sit back and wait for your gf to come to you. Your gf is nothing of the sort and your friend is no friend.

I couldnt read much more because at that point it's not on for me. I've confronted them both and are both deeply sorry and said the day after they were talking saying "what did we do that for last night?" and vowed to each other never to say because it was a stupid mistake and it meant nothing but now i have found out i don't know if i can trust them both fully.

It wasn't a stupid mistake. It was their true character. They didn't just "accidentally" say those words to each other. I hope you ditched them both.

I love her so much and she tells me she wants to be with me not him, it was just a mistake, one thing led to another.

One thing led to another? Well guess what? One thing will lead to another all the time. This girl isn't trustworthy, and neither is your friend.

Get rid of them both. Trust me on this. I've been there. You will regret it if you stay with someone like this.

but obviously it's still fresh in my mind and im hurting, my girlfriend and my best friend talking in a way thats not acceptable, and apparently they both kissed on a night out, which i attended too. And are not sure if they did kiss, she said they did (she thinks) and he says i dont think we did.

Basically, i feel betrayed by them both especially after all the reassurance they brought to the table.

And do you think you can go anywhere and have both of them in each other's company? don't think so.

I don't what to do now, i dont think the relationship will be the same or my friendship.

thankyou

You are right, the relationship will NOT be the same and you can't even trust your friend. I know you think you love this girl, but there is nothing here to love. You can bet they did kiss and if the perfect opportunity arose, there would have been more.

Its up to you what you do, but I'm telling you, no good will come to you by staying with this girl and keeping the guy as a friend.

I'd walk away from the both of them if I were you. If you don't, well...you will learn the hard way. But its your decision.