My girlfriend and I have been dating for over 3 months. I know that doesnt seem like a long time to all of you seasoned veterans out there, but she has brought something out in me that no one else ever has, and she means so much to me. She's leaving in mid-August for college, which is about 4 hours from my house. She will be attending school, and so will I, and I will also be working part time as well. We have had little...tifts over the past few weeks that have sort of given us a little preview of what things may be like after she leaves...but I am willing to work to make this work, and so is she. But I need everyone to give me tips on how to keep things going. Please help me!
The ONLY way this will work is if the two of you see each other in person at least once a week. That means paying over $4 a gallon for gasoline for a car that will take one or the other of you the four-hour drive to see the other. If there is no in person contact on a regular basis, your lady will eventually get frustrated with having to turn down guys who make overtures to her right there at her university. Eventually she'll find someone she's attracted to and she'll take them up on it.
Oh no, she would never do that you say? Yeah right! Trust me on this one. It happens dozens of times an hour in LDR/campus relationships all over America.
Don't listen to all the nay-sayers in here You can do it.
Driving 4 hours is nothing honestly. It will feel tough in the beginning but it'l be worth it.
I used to drive 40 minutes, wait for a ferry for 20-60 mins, ride a ferry for 90 minutes, drive to her house for 30-90 minutes.... So it wasn't just the cost of gas, it was $100 in ferries
One thing that saved my LDR was MSN web cam conversations. Not sure if you're into that, or have the equipment, but it helped! Seeing her nightly like that really helped close the distance.
We did that for 2 years while she worked. Then when we got engaged she moved over here. We got married last Sept (07).
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-Rob
I survived my long distance relationship of 2 years because of this guide.
My girlfriend and I are about to go through the same thing when late august rolls around. We will have been dating almost 8 months by then though. Also I am going to college, she still has another year of highschool, and I'll be four hours away. We have basically decided to break up.
Don't do it... she's going to see tons of other guys up there but not one of those guys will be you... Not trying to drop a bombshell, but she will probably take a liking in a few of them and since she's not seeing you, put you on the back burner. Unless she's not that good looking, you will have guys hitting on her all day long, not to mention at parties, I hate to think about my girlfriend going to parties without me; alcohol does some funny things to people. I know right now being only three months in everything seems like bliss and you believe that she has truly changed you, but you just can't make that kind of a judgement call this early in the game. The first three months of my relationship with my first love were heaven. I love you was about 90 percent of our total conversation not to mention the, "Oh we can make college work! No problem!" Didn't work, we didn't even get to college, still were 8 months away, and it failed.
Just be careful with what you decide. I know everything points to keep dating each other but try to see it from another angle-that it is possible she could do something with someone else that would seriously hurt you. I know you may think there is no way that she would ever do that but, seeing more of other guys and less of you will change her feelings for you, not trying to be hard on you, but at three months in you can't expect a relationship to work perfectly with college even though it may seem like your golden.
Whatever you do just remember, the first cut is always the deepest, and it will hurt like ****.
My first LDR was a result of my going away for college. Nevermind the alcohol and the horny college men. I was in love with my bf enough to pass by the temptation. You make due with the visits you have if you both are very committed and can understand that work, school, homework and finances will all be struggles you must be willing to endure.
What ended my relationship was that I saw better career opportunites in cities that were not in our home town. He was not the type to leave his family and friends he'd retained from grade school, so I opted to follow my career.
In hindsight, I wished we had just ended the relationship when I left for school. It would have saved us both a lot of money, time and heartache, but love makes you do crazy things sometimes.
You need to evaluate the strength of your relationship. It is definately possible to make it work, but you need to decide whether it's really worth the extra effort and what her intentions are when she graduates.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
You can do it.
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