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In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

Old 27th June 2008, 5:54 PM   #1
candykisses
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things seemed to be going good but now not so sure??

I really like this guy and it seemed like he was feeling it as well. A couple of weeks ago we talked before I went on vacation and the day I was getting ready to leave, he came by work area and made sure I saw him and give me wave and smile. I wanted to talk to him before I left but I was too busy.

So then the my first day back he came around my work area, more than he normally does, he waved and smiled the first time but the other times, I was so busy that I didn't get a chance to interact with him.

Since that day I have hardly seen him. I have seen him go to his office,(our companies share a building) but then he will take off with a couple of his co workers for his daily rounds.

I have noticed that when his co workers are around him, he does get very shy and will hardly look over at me or anything, but if he is alone, he is fine and we have a good connection.

So I was wondering if anyone can help me figure out what is going on with him. Is he interested or not? It seems like when I open up to him a little more than he does the same but if I am busy and I can't give him alot of attention then he will go into his cave. Or it could be a coincidence that he could be extremely busy this week.

Thanks for the opinions.
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Old 27th June 2008, 10:27 PM   #2
JohnnyBlaze
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Do we work together? No, I'm serious; do we? Other than the part about going on vacation, I'm in an identical situation right now (only I'm the shy guy walking by), so I'll try and lay it out as best I can from the guy's perspective. Please forgive me if I stumble or ramble a little; I've tried writing this a few times now, and it keeps coming out disjointed.

From my own experience, when I'm alone with the girl, we can talk until the end of time. When I'm at work and there are others around, I generally just smile and wave (I'm sure the smile is that "niner with a crush" smile, but that's pretty much how I feel, so I guess the smile is accurate, if not a little goofy for a biker).

If your company is anything like the one I work for, the girls and guys operate differently. When one girl likes a guy (and there's no competition from another girl at the company) the other girls encourage her; they kind of form a support group. If she stumbles, the others pick her back up, reassure her, and get her back in there.

The guys, on the other hand, enjoy torturing each other each and every chance we get. We like to abide by the "True Friendship" mantra (excerpt below):
4.When you are scared — I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
8.When you fall — I will point and laugh at your clumsy a__.

If we talk to a girl and come off sounding goofy, the other guys are going to laugh at us. When a guy's shy already, being ragged on by his friends doesn't help! We can talk to you in front of other girls and sound a little goofy (the others will just think it's "cute"), but we'd better be Don freakin' Juan before we say boo to you in front of the boys, or we'll never hear the end of it.

I'm sure he likes you. I do the exact same thing that he does, but only with someone I like. He probably just wants to get you alone before he talks with you much. If he's going to get shot down by you, he'd rather it not happen in front of everyone. He's tried to talk to you a few times from the sounds of it, but you're always busy. So you need to take the initiative and go talk to him. Even if it's in front of his friends, the fact that you're seen approaching him will make his life a LOT easier. It doesn't have to be anything big. Just stop by, say hi, ask how his weekend went, and tell him if he's got any time today, stop by your office and say hi. He'll turn a little red, he'll smile a little, and he'll be thrilled for the rest of the day.
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