[maggiew]

I never doubted my boyfriend or thought he was cheating on me. Then, one day I found a text to a girl he was friends with that was really questionable. So, I completely over reacted and got furious. As a result of me getting so upset he offered to just stop being friends with her so that I wouldn't worry. About 6 months later he told me that she had contacted him and they talked a few times then it stopped (because again I got upset after knowing what they said the first time).

A year later we get phones together (his idea) and neither of us knew that on our new plan every text message is itemized. So I discover that in the first 15 days he had the new phone he sent her 700 text messages. I was devastated and didn't understand.

when in a relationship I have never had another man text me at all. When I have been single every man who texted me more than 3 times a month was only texting me about sex. I don't get it. He acts like I am making something out of nothing but I can't help but seem really hurt and pissed off.

In the meantime I have started checking up on him and there are other women he talks to so often. I have never had a male friend call me and talk to me 2-3 times a week or more unless they were interested in me so I don't get it. I have become more and more paranoid and he has become more and more secretive.

I do not want to be with him anymore but I don't know how to stop.

[theobserver]

Well.. I don't see the problem here. Have a look at what you typed. He broke his promise of no contact with this woman when he knew it upset you. You even then found out he's sending excessive texts to her over 700 even. You are correct that there is no way they are having a casual "what's up" text session. At the very least he's having an "emotional affair" have him look that up.

You say he's becoming more secretive and has other chat sessions with questionable female "friends" if they are friends has he ever introduced you to them? Have you met them yourself, been able to hang out with them in a social setting. Has he made it clear your his girlfriend? Either way this guy sounds like a classic playa and if he's not he's an extremely selfish, self-centered person. Do you really want to be with someone that keeps you worrying 24/7 and has you paranoid enough to make an anonymous post on a forum for advice. Can you see yourself waking up with this man in 10 more years?

I suggest you compile your points , the texts, calls ,secrecy to your boyfriend and have a discussion get a chance to communicate and see if he's on the same page of this relationship like you. Don't be afraid to break up with this man there's a man out there who will actually respect you and share your ideals of what is and is not appropriate in a relationship.

Good Luck

[AmyKidders26]

Y r men so irrating!!! Its not like he didnt know u would find out!

If it was me i would be texting her and asking exactly what has been going? I would want to know as it would drive me nuts!

[verve]

He's definatley having an emotional affair with this girl, I mean c'mon, SEVEN HUNDRED TEXTS! Plus he has lied to you numerous times.

You do not deserved to be treated and disrespected like that. I think you'd be much better off without this loser.

[georgejungle]

If it was me i would be texting her and asking exactly what has been going? I would want to know as it would drive me nuts!

I think texting HER is silly. It's not the gal pal's fault, it's HIS for texting
her. As MEN, We are perfectly capable of NOT cheating or flirting. It's
easy to do, you just don't do it out of respect and love for your best
girl/wife, etc. If this guy is being this excessive with the contact
with the little texts and stuff, it's not fair to you, since you flat out
told you he would stop. It's pretty lame.

You need to tell him what he has done wrong, but be clear and
use your facts. Call him out on it and then leave him.

If you can fix this and get past it, do you want to stay with this guy?
seems a little sneaky and obviously doesn't really care about your
feelings.

[Walk]

Nearly 47 text messages per day to one girl. Wow!

Man.. I've never had a guy text message me that much in a day. I'm floored.