Me and my gf of 2 yrs recently broke up with me. She did it because she found out that strippers were at my friends bday party at my house and I didnt do anything to stop it. The reason i didnt stop the planning of getting them was because I didnt want to spoil the fun of the night for my other friends. I didnt put any money in or anything. I just watched. And it wasnt even nothing. But she found out and now she says that she cant trust me. She says she needs some time to herself...but she says she still loves me. Whenever I ask her if she will forgive me she says idk maybe...how long do you think itll take her to take me back...ive been really sincere about this and I have apologized so many times and I know I wont ever lie to her again...she says she call me still but just as friends for a while at least...
My question I guess is Do you think she'll take me back and just needs time to herself to think it over...or is she done with me for good?
it's never a smart thing to lie – by omission or commission – when you've got someone's trust, and I imagine she's hurt more by the fact that you've covered something up.
if you're serious about this girl, give her the space she requests so she can get things straight in her head. Don't bug her by continually apologizing (because that only makes you appear even more guilty, or worse, as sucking up because you got in trouble), but just let her be.
as for the strippers, I can see both sides – you really weren't in a position to do anything about THEM, but knowing that they were a bone of contention in your relationship with your GF, you could have easily excused yourself from the party so that you weren't around them. And that's probably why she's upset with you, that you didn't have respect enough for her to just walk out of that party.
like I said, if you have any kind of respect for this girl, give her the space she needs to work through this. It could make the difference in helping her see that you're really a trust-worthy guy and that you weren't trying to hurt her by staying at the party.
__________________ I think my favorite phrase at this moment is, "Shut your piehole!" It doesn't really refer to anything nasty, but it sure does sound rude.
That is stupid. A woman should realize that if you don't want your man to cheat, one of the safest placest for him to go is a strip club. The women only want your cash. They aren't interested in you. Sounds to me like she is using it as a reason to duck out of the relationship. If it really did make her angry, she should just calm down and forgive you...if she loves you of course. It all sounds very controlling to me.
well we both are kind of jelous ppl and i can see her getting really jelous over sumtin like that. But I mean it was nothing. An she didnt use this as an exit...we had sumtin too good going on and her herself would never want to break up with me...I think i just lost her trust by trying to cover something up...which I would never do again...i guess the only thing to do is let time heal her jelousy and feeling of betrayal and hopefully things will be stronger in the end..
well we both are kind of jelous ppl and i can see her getting really jelous over sumtin like that. But I mean it was nothing. An she didnt use this as an exit...we had sumtin too good going on and her herself would never want to break up with me...I think i just lost her trust by trying to cover something up...which I would never do again...i guess the only thing to do is let time heal her jelousy and feeling of betrayal and hopefully things will be stronger in the end..
I agree with quankanne. This is probably more about the lies you used to cover up the truth, rather than the stripper issue. Ultimately, whether she returns to you or not is up to her. Some people feel that - once their partner outright lies to them, they can never really trust them after that. Other people can forgive.
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That is stupid. A woman should realize that if you don't want your man to cheat, one of the safest placest for him to go is a strip club. The women only want your cash. They aren't interested in you. Sounds to me like she is using it as a reason to duck out of the relationship. If it really did make her angry, she should just calm down and forgive you...if she loves you of course. It all sounds very controlling to me.
LOL. My husband cheated at a strip club and caught chlamydia there.
My ex girlfriend worked at a strip club and a long time ago I did too, there is soooo ,much dirty sh*t going on in a lot of strip clubs. And strippers coming to a private residence is even more dangerous, more than half of those women are strippers/hookers.
yeah like i said i didnt even want the strippers there... my friends did... and i didnt want to spoil there fun...i guess i didnt want to seem whipped...but now i wish i would have stood up and did the right thing for my sake at least...And now im miserable cuz she meant the world to me...but deep down inside i know she'll come back...she has to and i think she knows it too...
mikal, she doesn't "have" to give y'alls relationship a second chance just because you think she should. She'll do so because she realizes that she's willing to trust you again.
no one likes being in a place where they're continually questioning their partner over issues of trust. And if you're serious about this girl, you should respect this desire to trust you, not cover your azz with lies because you don't want to get into trouble, it just doesn't pay off in the end. Besides, it's a pretty sweet feeling knowing that you have the freedom to do things without worry because you know your partner trusts you, and you see others having to check in at every instance – or forfeit doing things – because they've lied to their partners about what they were doing.
refrain -he did lie to her.. in most peoples book that is wrong
mikal05- did she already tell you that she didn't want you to have strippers? And did you spend the night with her after this party ?
That whole not wanting to seem whipped mentality is BS, if you are in a relationship you should respect the boundaries of it and not give a damn what other people think.
mikal, how would you feel if she lied to you one night, told you she was too tired to go out with you, but then you later found out she went clubbing, instead? What's your first assumption? Something shady going on...
__________________ "I think in life, what you want is what you are supposed to get." - George Obama
refrain -he did lie to her.. in most peoples book that is wrong
mikal05- did she already tell you that she didn't want you to have strippers? And did you spend the night with her after this party ?
That whole not wanting to seem whipped mentality is BS, if you are in a relationship you should respect the boundaries of it and not give a damn what other people think.
no we never talked about it...and i guess the only reason why i didnt stop my friends from ordering them was because i didnt want to spoil there night...ya know...i know i should just went in the other room but ppl make mistakes..and now im paying for mine. and no i didnt spend the night with her she still lives with her parents im 20 and shes 18... and yeah you are right about the whipped part...i have some work to do on my self esteem issues to...
mikal, how would you feel if she lied to you one night, told you she was too tired to go out with you, but then you later found out she went clubbing, instead? What's your first assumption? Something shady going on...
buts it not like i knew there were gonna be strippers it was all an impulse decision that put me in a wierd position and i couldnt really say no...it was at my house so...yeah i would be pretty mad if she saw some strippers. but i would def give her another chance...
buts it not like i knew there were gonna be strippers it was all an impulse decision that put me in a wierd position and i couldnt really say no...it was at my house so...yeah i would be pretty mad if she saw some strippers. but i would def give her another chance...
In my example, I didn't say she was seeing strippers. It was intended to be ambiguous with the potential for just about anything, including finding a ONS.
Anways, I took the position I did, due to this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikal05
The reason i didnt stop the planning of getting them was because I didnt want to spoil the fun of the night for my other friends.
It sounded like you were aware they were planning it in advance.
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LOL. My husband cheated at a strip club and caught chlamydia there.
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