Just as a little catch up for those not familiar with the tale, after our little hiccup in the winter, the Baller came on WAY strong after that, and we quickly settled in our exclusive, committed relationship. He took me to meet his parents in May (stressful as hell, but we went to Souplantation one day for lunch, so it was all good - lol), and things have been mainly very good between us.
It was my birthday last week (hello 33!!!), and he surprised me by making me dinner. This was huge because 1) Baller CANNOT even find his own stove, and 2) I loved that he made so much effort. Truly touching.
So, later on that night, we were cuddling watching football highlights as always (KIDDING! but we were cuddling - lol), and he started talking about what he had in his place that he keeps during season, and what he has here, and what he was taking, and what was staying. And it hit me. I AM STAYING. AND HE IS LEAVING.
I've been trying to play it SO cool with him, but who the hell am I kidding, I am whipped on the guy. And now I am facing down him leaving for camp in a few weeks. AND I AM STAYING.
He has talked about us still seeing each other when he leaves and acts like nothing will change, but I know how crazy this is, since I don't see myself flying around the country to meet him at his games, or camping out at his place during the week while he is at practice.
Part of me is inclined to tell him that we should just break up entirely. Part of me feels like that will be easier than doing some fade-out, or seeing him on some ESPN interview with some blonde on his arm or me being lonely and dating the new hottie at the gym.
I'm confused, sad, and pissed at myself for not predicting this outcome sooner. I wasn't supposed to fall for him at all...
__________________ "I've always relied on the strangeness of kind people."
Just as a little catch up for those not familiar with the tale, after our little hiccup in the winter, the Baller came on WAY strong after that, and we quickly settled in our exclusive, committed relationship. He took me to meet his parents in May (stressful as hell, but we went to Souplantation one day for lunch, so it was all good - lol), and things have been mainly very good between us.
It was my birthday last week (hello 33!!!), and he surprised me by making me dinner. This was huge because 1) Baller CANNOT even find his own stove, and 2) I loved that he made so much effort. Truly touching.
So, later on that night, we were cuddling watching football highlights as always (KIDDING! but we were cuddling - lol), and he started talking about what he had in his place that he keeps during season, and what he has here, and what he was taking, and what was staying. And it hit me. I AM STAYING. AND HE IS LEAVING.
I've been trying to play it SO cool with him, but who the hell am I kidding, I am whipped on the guy. And now I am facing down him leaving for camp in a few weeks. AND I AM STAYING.
He has talked about us still seeing each other when he leaves and acts like nothing will change, but I know how crazy this is, since I don't see myself flying around the country to meet him at his games, or camping out at his place during the week while he is at practice.
Part of me is inclined to tell him that we should just break up entirely. Part of me feels like that will be easier than doing some fade-out, or seeing him on some ESPN interview with some blonde on his arm or me being lonely and dating the new hottie at the gym.
I'm confused, sad, and pissed at myself for not predicting this outcome sooner. I wasn't supposed to fall for him at all...
Sounds to me like everything is fine except you're being insecure. That's cool, but don't let it actually have an effect on the relationship.
Why can't you visit him during the season? I'm sure if he cares for you he'll make time for you too. Hell, there's a bye week in an NFL season...surely you guys can make that a time to hook-up and spend some quality time..and unless he makes the playoffs, he'll be back for the New Year.
His career won't last forever either. If you guys are in love, I don't see a problem. Could be a lot of fun.
Ah shyte, Jilly ! Happens to the best of us doesn't it. Play it reallllly cool, in fact, go on a trip and spend the least amount of time possible around him : best case, he wakes up, worst, you deal with the reality of loving a "jock" and either take it or leave it.
Sorry girl, hugs.....
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"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all it's pupils." - Louis-Hector Berlioz
Sounds to me like everything is fine except you're being insecure. That's cool, but don't let it actually have an effect on the relationship.
Why can't you visit him during the season? I'm sure if he cares for you he'll make time for you too. Hell, there's a bye week in an NFL season...surely you guys can make that a time to hook-up and spend some quality time..and unless he makes the playoffs, he'll be back for the New Year.
His career won't last forever either. If you guys are in love, I don't see a problem. Could be a lot of fun.
E..H
I wouldn't so much say that I am insecure, more that I am not a LDR type at all. I have too many needs that require answering promptly - lol.
To continue to date, would mean me always going to see him. They practice all week long, so it's not like he can come back here, except for the bye week, as you said. I travel, own a business, so it's not like I can pick up that often, either.
I just don't want this to continue to be a few months a year we see each other, then split when he goes to "work". Ugh. Shame on me for falling...
Why don't you propose marriage to him before he leaves? Then you can go ring shopping together, and you know he's yours before he goes on his trip and he might even ask you to travel with him.
Oh yeah. GREAT idea!! Just marry him.
This will pass, JB. He's just a fling. Don't let it get to you. Just keep your eye on the ball: breaking up is the right thing to do. It's best to do it quickly, like pulling off a band aid. Trust me.
This will pass, JB. He's just a fling. Don't let it get to you. Just keep your eye on the ball: breaking up is the right thing to do. It's best to do it quickly, like pulling off a band aid. Trust me.
OK you've never posted subtle dark humor,either...like never.
Melody - thanks for the hugs, girl! Just sucks. I didn't expect I would miss his fat ass...
EH - lol, he doesn't play for Dallas, but he is a starter for another team that made the playoffs season before last. They have a shot for it this year, me thinks. But, I guess now you want me to leave him miserable, right?
Johan - he was SUPPOSED to be a fling, wasn't he!!?? When the hell did I let myself fall? I never really saw us as VERY long-term, I mean, he's young, and kind of a jack-ass at times - lol, but he's also very sweet and tender, and funny and yummy.
Maybe you're right - just pull the band-aid off and see him less until he leaves? I'm very good at picking senseless fights, so I could always do that, wait until two months after he's gone, and then explain why I did it when I am no longer hurting. Too babyish? lol
What I really think you should do is suck it up and let him do his job. This is nothing to break up over. You love him and you know it, so now you're stuck. I've seen plenty of women who have no courage, and I expect you to be better than that.
I'm sure that what he wants is for you to be there for him (although maybe you should take the time to find out what he wants). And he's not going to find some dumb blonde. He could have done that already.
EH - lol, he doesn't play for Dallas, but he is a starter for another team that made the playoffs season before last. They have a shot for it this year, me thinks. But, I guess now you want me to leave him miserable, right?
As long as he's not in the NFC East, it's cool. If he is, then I might have to re-think my advice.
One thing to think about: right now you're looking at the negative aspects. That's normal. Just make room for positive thoughts too. Like you could have a LOT of fun. Maybe the time of your life! Relationships are always risky but then you know that already.
What I really think you should do is suck it up and let him do his job. This is nothing to break up over. You love him and you know it, so now you're stuck. I've seen plenty of women who have no courage, and I expect you to be better than that.
I'm sure that what he wants is for you to be there for him (although maybe you should take the time to find out what he wants). And he's not going to find some dumb blonde. He could have done that already.
Yeah, I think Im pretty good at letting him go do his thing. Even off-season, he has all this promotional "face of" stuff that he does, plus the charity golf tourneys, etc. I never say boo about that.
The thing to break up over is that I don't want to be in a LDR. I hate them. I am WAY too needy for one, actually. lol.
He wants and expects things to continue as they are. He's never mentioned breaking up, or seeing other people, or anything. He asked me when I was coming out during training camp and I skirted it. Because he is so used to splitting his life like this, I guess he assumed I was on board.
I guess Im tweaking because I know Im not cut out for a LDR, yet I do feel so bought into him (and his fat ass - lol). So, I feel like Im stuck
Not at all, Z. He just talks like nothing is changing, besides him moving away. He has asked me when Im coming out during camp, asked about getting tickets for my friends when he plays my hometown team...
I always thought it was understood that when July came, and he left for camp, that we would fade out and be done with it. Never occured to me that he was thinking more of this. Then again, I guess the clue was when he took me home to meet the family last month.
Baller eschews any kind of drama or pettiness, so I didn't want to bring up the WHAT'S NEXT speech.
You might want to ask him though-what is his plan during the season? If you do love him like I think you do, you need to have this conversation with him. At least have him know how you feel about it, and know what his expectations are.
I can understand where you are coming from, I am NOT an LDR kinda girl. I need to be with someone in my city.
But, if you two are as close as you think, it could work itself out. The thing is, you aren't in an LDR right now, and didn't start off as one (I am assuming)..those LDR's traditionally are based off of fantasy, etc...But yours would actually be based off of real time spent together.
Besides, at least give it a shot. If it doesn't work, then at least you know, and won't be kicking yourself down the road...
I would have a conversation with him. It doesn't have to be heavy either. Just get a feel for where he is coming from.
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