Hello. I've posted several posts before about my past relationship. And i'm going to repost as to how it ended, because I am really missing her and want to start talking to her again. Here is my story
Me and my ex began dating on Feb. 14, 2007. The relationship was going great, we were deeply in love with eachother and never wanted to have a day where we didn't see eachother. We had our arguments here and there, but we always talked about them. Then it began going downhill around Jan. 18, 2008. I became so comfortable around her, I became too attached, I became annoying to her and immature. Then three days later she said those four words, "We need to talk". I knew it was coming, I was so nervous. She then told me everything that I've been doing that she hates. And it made her lose her attraction or wanting of me anymore. After that I left and began doing the worst, I texted her and called her constantly saying, "I love you", "I will change", "I miss you", etc.. She got extremely annoyed and cut off all contact with me. After about 1 month I texted her here and there just seeing how she was and it was just very light talk and responses. My birthday then came along on May 29th. She never texted or called to wish me a happy birthday on the day of my birthday, which I didn't even think about at all until she texted me on June 11th saying this. "Hey I just realized I didnt wish you a happy birthday it was not intentionally it slipped my mind but like they say its better late then never so happy (late) birthday...sorry I really did forget...bye bye" I just responed with "lol its ok and thank you" Also I hang out with a friend of hers that lives right next door to her. He's a good friend of mine also. And one day he came up to me and said. "Hey listen. I talked to your ex about you, because I really see you two going far. I mean you two were great together. And to tell you the truth she doesn't look as happy as she used to when you two were together, I mean she is happy but not as much. I told her that you miss her and think about her (I do talk about her to my buddy sometimes). And she said what else did he say?? I might take it into consideration" My friend had no idea what she ment by that. So he was like i dont know" I never told my friend to talk to her. I don't know what it is he sees in me that he wanted to talk to my ex. I still have no idea what my ex ment when she said she might take it into consideration. Anyway and then her graduation from highschool came along. I never went, but I texted her that night and told her "congratulations im very happy for you. I hope you succeed in whatever you want to do. I know you will do great in college. I hope to see you around." And she texted me back and said "Thank You" And i asked what college she was going to and it was just light talk and then that was it. I really miss my ex and I am still in love with her and just want to talk to her in person. I dont know what I can do. Please I need advice. Help
I know this isn't helping you, but this is uncannily eerie: it sounds like my relationship with my ex in so many places. I started dating her on February 12, 2007. I began to get annoyed at her child-like behaviour (although much earlier than you say that you began to get annoying). I missed her birthday after we had broken up, and messaged her about it later. After that it kind of diverges, but it was a little bit nerve-wracking to read the first few sentences.
I would advise you to tell her one last time how you feel about her, and if she doesn't reciprocate, move on. I always had this plan that I would meet up with my ex-girlfriend one day (use a good excuse - that's why I always lend my girlfriends something of mine; so we can have a reason to meet up later), give her a hug, hold onto her arms longer than was necessary, and kiss her just once. If nothing happens after that, then it's safe to assume that it's over. That's all that can be said in this situation: you opened the door for a return, but she has to realize that she wants you back. She has to figure out how much she misses you. Nothing you do - especially not texting, messaging, emailing, or phoning - will convince her unless she wants to be convinced.
It's frustrating to have so little control over a situation, but it's the nature of the beast.
I know this isn't helping you, but this is uncannily eerie: it sounds like my relationship with my ex in so many places. I started dating her on February 12, 2007. I began to get annoyed at her child-like behaviour (although much earlier than you say that you began to get annoying). I missed her birthday after we had broken up, and messaged her about it later. After that it kind of diverges, but it was a little bit nerve-wracking to read the first few sentences.
I would advise you to tell her one last time how you feel about her, and if she doesn't reciprocate, move on. I always had this plan that I would meet up with my ex-girlfriend one day (use a good excuse - that's why I always lend my girlfriends something of mine; so we can have a reason to meet up later), give her a hug, hold onto her arms longer than was necessary, and kiss her just once. If nothing happens after that, then it's safe to assume that it's over. That's all that can be said in this situation: you opened the door for a return, but she has to realize that she wants you back. She has to figure out how much she misses you. Nothing you do - especially not texting, messaging, emailing, or phoning - will convince her unless she wants to be convinced.
It's frustrating to have so little control over a situation, but it's the nature of the beast.
You know your right. I'm going to ask her if she wants to meet up sometime cause i would like to say many things to her. I havent told her how i feel in about 5 months. I will let you know what happens and thank you so much
I e-mailed my ex last night and got a reply from her today saying this.
hey dillon
ill be honest with you when we first broke up i didnt want to talk to you because you were annoying me
when i said that we are not boyfriend and girlfriend you still kept on calling and doin what u did
that was very stresfull for me because u wouldnt leave me alone...and caused me to dislike you more and more.....after u and in stoped talkin i was afraid to talk to u again because u
might get attached to me and will
want more then a friendship thats why i didnt want to talk or hang out........now i think im ok with bein friends and hangin out and what not[SIZE=3]....[/SIZE][SIZE=2]as long as u know that we are nothin but[/SIZE]
friends.....otherwise there is no point in even talkin......................also want to let u know i have a boyfriend........ ....i do think of u sometimes and i dont hate u at all =].......well ima go now you can text me if u want to.........have a good one bye bye =]
What should I do next?? I don't know what to do...
I e-mailed my ex last night and got a reply from her today saying this.
hey dillon
ill be honest with you when we first broke up i didnt want to talk to you because you were annoying me
when i said that we are not boyfriend and girlfriend you still kept on calling and doin what u did
that was very stresfull for me because u wouldnt leave me alone...and caused me to dislike you more and more.....after u and in stoped talkin i was afraid to talk to u again because u
might get attached to me and will
want more then a friendship thats why i didnt want to talk or hang out........now i think im ok with bein friends and hangin out and what not[SIZE=3]....[/SIZE][SIZE=2]as long as u know that we are nothin but[/SIZE]
friends.....otherwise there is no point in even talkin......................also want to let u know i have a boyfriend........ ....i do think of u sometimes and i dont hate u at all =].......well ima go now you can text me if u want to.........have a good one bye bye =]
What should I do next?? I don't know what to do...
As painful as it was getting this - it's pretty clear - she ONLY wants friendship from you.
At this point,you need to stop contacting her and move on.
You have to decide not only if you can 'just be friends' with her, but more importantly, if you can handle seeing her in a relationship with her new boyfriend.
Only you know this. However, reading your posts, I doubt this very much. I know how tempting it must be to take this olive branch of friendship that she is offering to you, and its very honest of her to tell you her position upfront.
It is a way of keeping in contact, but seeing her with someone else, when you still have such strong feelings for her is going to torment you immensely.
Maybe the odd text or email every so often so you keep in contact and don't lose touch might be more realistic? Then, you never know, if anything was to happen with the new guy, perhaps something could happen. The reality though is that she has made her position abundantly clear, that you could only be friends.
Its your call how you proceed. The main thing to think about are your own feelings and how much your hurt may continue by seeing her with this other guy.
You have to decide not only if you can 'just be friends' with her, but more importantly, if you can handle seeing her in a relationship with her new boyfriend.
Only you know this. However, reading your posts, I doubt this very much. I know how tempting it must be to take this olive branch of friendship that she is offering to you, and its very honest of her to tell you her position upfront.
It is a way of keeping in contact, but seeing her with someone else, when you still have such strong feelings for her is going to torment you immensely.
Maybe the odd text or email every so often so you keep in contact and don't lose touch might be more realistic? Then, you never know, if anything was to happen with the new guy, perhaps something could happen. The reality though is that she has made her position abundantly clear, that you could only be friends.
Its your call how you proceed. The main thing to think about are your own feelings and how much your hurt may continue by seeing her with this other guy.
Yeah, I dont know. I'm so confused right now. I want to talk to her and hang out with her, but i know i would be hurt more. and I know if i dont talk to her or hang out I would just keep on missing her
Ouch, sorry mate. I know that was not the response you wanted from her. It seems that right now that there is nothing you can do to get her back by your side. She's with someone else now and that sucks for you. I'm sorry for that.
I think that you need to move on as she has done. I think that you need to just stop contacting her so that you can get her out of your head once and for all. Just take one day at a time and forget her. It's a tough journey but it will be worth it in the end.
If you stay in contact you're just going to get more hurt and you will have that hope of reconciliation there for as long as you do. And it's that hope that holds you back from meeting someone who loves you the same way as you love them. Someone better.
or you can go the friend route and then just accept bread crumbs. You want more and deserve more than that.
My buddy that lives right next to my ex is having a barbecue and he wants me to go and my ex is going to be their. I want to go, but I'm kind of nervous. Should I go?? I mean I don't know what would be the right thing to do.
Impossible, I try to avoid my ex at all costs. I'd hate to see her with new guys around... If you can avoid her but still attend plenty of social events with your friends, skip it. If she's always going to be out and about, you're going to have to deal with it now.
Keeping your friendships healthy and support network intact is the most important factor, avoiding your ex comes in 2nd.
Impossible, I try to avoid my ex at all costs. I'd hate to see her with new guys around... If you can avoid her but still attend plenty of social events with your friends, skip it. If she's always going to be out and about, you're going to have to deal with it now.
Keeping your friendships healthy and support network intact is the most important factor, avoiding your ex comes in 2nd.
Yeah, I think I will skip it. I mean she won't be with her boyfriend, but still knowing she just wants a friendship and knowing myself wanting more then that will just make me dig a deeper hole and hurt myself more. I'm not mentally prepared to speak to her just as a friend. I just want to tell her what I feel, but she doesn't want anything else but a friendship. I just have to keep my distance...I don't know grrr I am so mad, because I really do want to see her and speak to her, but I would be to nervous and it would just make me hurt more. This is so frustrating.
Do you think it would be okay to contact her and ask her if she wants to grab something to eat or go for coffee. I just want it to be me and her. I just want to talk and that's really it. I just want one time with her. Just to talk and see how it goes. Is that ok??
I wouldn't do it if I were you. If she agrees you're not going to hear anything you want to hear. If she wanted to be with you, she'd be with you - period.
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